Every once and a while, someone who means well will invalidate their own point by maniacally and incompetently overstating it. Such is this piece over at 2old2play.com, regarding your consumer’s rights as an X-Box 360 owner.

In a work longer than Boswell’s unabridged Life of Johnson, Codemonkey, the author of the piece, first explains that his mission is to alleviate the bladder-evacuating terrors of those “living in fear” that their expensive new console might break. He then explains: “I am not a lawyer so I
m not going to try to get all technical and use big words that I do not understand”… apparently opting instead to compose several million small words he does understand. He then writes:

Rather then live in fear about my
impending doom
of my own Xbox 360 dying I
m going to try to prepare myself for if such a time arises (lets hope it does not for anyone including myself). I do not feel I should have to go out and purchase an extended warranty for something that up and dies without any aggravated assault of my own. My console sits on my desk and does not move so if it just dies without warning I do not believe I, the consumer, should be considered at fault. Nor do I plan on footing the bill for repairs on a product that was flawed from its origin of birth. tate for the record that I do not believe extended warranties are bad in all cases or service contracts that cover more then the limited warranties cover.

Look, the bottom line is that, if John Moschitta were to read this entire post aloud, he wouldn’t finish before the heat death of the universe. But it’s a useful, insanely over-exhaustive look at your rights as an XBox 360 owner. Here’s the summary: if your X-Box 360 spontaneously breaks, you’re protected under US Law. Go read the whole thing if you have several thousand minutes to spare. And, slagging aside, I’m sure glad someone cares this much about your X-Box 360.

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