In spite of the fact that new sports venues often cost upwards of billions of dollars to construct, many American teams play in stadiums and arenas that are less than 25 years old. Heck, once the Atlanta Braves move into their new park, the Philadelphia Phillies’ Citizens Bank Park will be the most senior venue in the NL East — and that only opened in 2004. Whether it’s through municipal bonds, tax breaks, or free real estate, a lot of the money to pay for these venues ultimately comes out of taxpayers’ pockets. [More]
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John Oliver’s Rousing Speech Rallies American Sports Fans To Stop Wasting Public Money On Stadiums
By 7.13.15
Indiegogo Campaign To Bail Out Greece Has Raised $1.65 Million… Only $1.77 Billion To Go
By 7.2.15
With Greece facing such a dire debt crisis that it recently shut down the country’s banking system in order to keep money from flooding out across its borders, it’s going to take a massive effort to get the country back on solid financial footing. And in this day and age of crowdfunding, why not try to raise a couple of billion dollars online? [More]
Walmart Is Now The Rightful Owner Of Walmart.Horse
By 5.19.15
You’ll have to excuse us if we’re not in the greatest spirits today, as we’re in mourning for the loss of Walmart.horse, the nonsense website that Walmart spent actual time and money to shut down and acquire. [More]
NJ Residents Call For Info On Sprint Refund, Get Phone Sex Line Instead
By 5.14.15
Earlier this week, Sprint and Verizon reached multimillion-dollar settlements with federal regulators for allowing third parties to bill for unwanted and unauthorized add-on services. But when New Jersey residents tried to call the Sprint information number given out by the state’s attorney general, they were in for another telephonic surprise. [More]
Michael Bolton Serenades The IRS: You’re The Anus Of Our Country
By 4.13.15
Since 2010, Congress has cut the budget for the IRS by around 20%, resulting in thousands of jobs being cut and millions of Americans unable to get much-needed help with their tax returns this year. This has had the effect of just making some people hate the IRS even more than they already did, but is this a case of kicking a man when he’s down? [More]
You Can Now Turn Any Google Map Into A Pac-Man Game
By 3.31.15
Have you ever looked at a Google Map and thought to yourself, “It would be flippin’ awesome if I could play Pac-Man on this street grid”? Probably not, because that is not something that occurs to most people. But it did occur to some folks at Google who have incorporated, perhaps temporarily, a button that lets you Pac-Man-ize your Google Map. [More]
Home Depot Employees Build Custom Wagon For Cancer-Stricken Dog
By 3.6.15
The owner of an elderly cancer-stricken canine says she was just hoping for some wagon-building advice from Home Depot employees but she ended up with something much more — a custom-built cart for her ill furry friend. [More]
Visitors Bureau For Ice-Cold Ithaca Tells People To Just Go Get Warm In Key West
By 2.17.15
While the central New York city of Ithaca might be home to lovely Cornell University and the fictional University of Ithaca from the classic Breckin Meyer comedy Road Trip, it — like many places north of 35th parallel this week — is unpleasantly, bone-chillingly cold. But at least the folks at the Ithaca Visitors Bureau have a good sense of humor about the weather. [More]
Ad Execs Pick Their Favorite Fake ‘Saturday Night Live’ Ads From Last 40 Years
By 2.13.15
This weekend, NBC’s Saturday Night Live will celebrate turning 40, which is incredibly depressing for some of us who have fuzzy childhood memories of sneaking downstairs to watch Chevy Chase, Gilda Radner, John Belushi and others do things that we knew were hilarious even if we were too young to understand. So what better way to end the week than to look back at some of the best fake ads ever aired on SNL. [More]
Video Game Simulates The Singular Thrill Of Assembling IKEA Furniture
By 1.29.15
Unlike many of my friends, I enjoy assembling IKEA furniture — to a point. I have been known to utter a few Scandinavian profanities after a few days of shredding my fingers with an allen wrench. Now a video game will apparently allow me to enjoy that unique thrill of putting together a nonsense-named end table without enduring any physical or spiritual injuries. [More]
Conan O’Brien Visits Taco Bell Test Kitchen, Creates The Irish “O’Taco”
By 1.22.15
One of the staffers on Conan O’Brien’s show is an aficionado of the fine, authentic Mexican cuisine at Taco Bell, so using the “incredible power” he has in show business, Conan did what any good boss with a TV talk show would do — took the staffer to the Taco Bell test kitchen for a segment. [More]
Do Funny Consumer Complaints Lead To Better Results Or Just Hurt Your Case?
By 1.21.15
A bad consumer experience can result in a lot of anger, perhaps even rage, toward the offender. For some people, the healthiest way to direct that fury is to have a sense of humor about what happened while still trying to get across the message that they were wronged. While slapping an ironic grin on your vitriol might preempt your punching the wall (or someone else) in frustration, is it any more effective than a dry and humorless complaint? [More]
John Oliver: New Year’s Eve Is “Like The Death Of A Pet”
By 12.29.14
For some people, Dec. 31 is the night to send out the old year with a blast, celebrating and partying into the early hours of the new year. But for others, it’s a day marked on the calendar to lock oneself in the basement with enough sustenance and water (and access to a toilet and sink) while waiting the debauch out. [More]
Someone Made A Table Out Of The Pages Of An IKEA Catalog
By 11.20.14
Have you ever flipped through the IKEA catalog and wished you could order everything you see? (Probably not, but for the sake of this story, let’s just say “maybe.”) Well, that would be impractical and expensive, but there is a way to turn every single page of an IKEA catalog into a working piece of furniture. [More]
For-Profit Online University Lets You Spend ThoughtCoins On Way To Job As Digital Gardener
By 11.7.14
Have you been thinking about enrolling in a for-profit online college that saddles you with thousands of dollars of debt and no job to show for it? Then get ready to spend your ThoughtCoins and ClassPoints at a school that will still take all your money but lets you skip the classwork and guarantees you a job when you graduate. [More]
Popeyes Or Popeye’s? JCPenney Or J.C. Penney? Do You Know The Proper Names Of These Companies?
November 7, 2014
When we eventually hit the lottery and fulfill our dream of opening the world’s largest chain of Skee Ball parlors, we’re going to name it “Consumerist’s’s’s’s” in honor of all the inexplicably abandoned apostrophes that rightfully belong in retailers’ names but have been left to die by marketing executives or company owners who didn’t want to seem too possessive. [More]
Restaurant Offers Free Food In Exchange For Election Campaign Signs
By 11.6.14
The elections are mercifully over and whatever you think of the outcome, you probably agree that people can’t remove all those unsightly campaign signs quickly enough. So one restaurant chain based in South Carolina is offering free food to customers who help clean up the mess left by the democratic process. [More]
John Oliver: Lowe’s Robot Won’t Keep Couples From Killing Each Other At Hardware Store
By 11.3.14
Last week, Lowe’s unveiled the test of a customer service robot at one of its Orchard Supply stores and we pointed out that it’s really just doing the job Lowe’s should be asking of its employees. What we were remiss in mentioning is the other important aspect of home-improvement store customer service — preventing married couples from murdering each other while shopping. [More]
