Sabrina bit into a rodent skull and cut her gums while eating a bowl of cereal. The 100% natural, premium gourmet nutty cranberry maple granola she was trying to enjoy was purchased at a Hannaford in Maine and manufactured by Bakery on Main. Aside from selling the rodent skull, both Hannaford and Bakery on Main are handling the situation well.
Um. Well. At least they are recycling?
A commercial for Kellogg’s All-Bran seems to have gone back to the source and adopted the crazy butt-obsessed attitude of the company’s forefather, because as the actor talks in the foreground about how great his cereal makes him feel, in the background you can see several over-the-top metaphors for… well, let’s just say “pulling an I-beam out of my wall” is going to take on a whole new meaning. And in case it’s not explicit enough, wait for the tag line.
The FTC has issued subpoenas to 44 food and beverage companies that market to kids, including Burger King, Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, and Kraft. The companies are being called on to disclose how much they spend on their marketing campaigns to kids, as well as “specific information about their marketing practices,” by November 1st of this year.
Crafty cereal makers may weasel out of their promise to stop advertising junk food to audiences under 12 by fudging serving size information. Eleven cereal makers last week set the threshold for products advertised to children at 12 grams of sugar per serving. According to the New York Times’ original coverage, many cereal makers are already “trying to reformulate the foods to meet nutritional guidelines.” Why reformulate when you can change the labels?
The New York Times reports that eleven huge food companies, in the face of regulatory intervention, lawsuits, and a forthcoming government study on childhood obesity, agreed to voluntarily withdraw junk food advertising from children’s TV shows targeted at an under-12 audience.
475,000 affected 8 ounce cereal boxes were sold nationwide. Any organic rice with UPC codes 15000 and 12504, or organic oatmeal with the UPC codes 15000 and 12502 are part of the recall; the UPC codes are on the bottom right side of the boxes. Customers can return the cereals and receive a refund by calling Gerber at (800) 443-7237 or (231) 928-3000.
A campaign to etch Frank L. White’s face and name onto his gravestone has succeeded. White is better known as the smiling chef on the Cream of Wheat box. White, who died in 1938, had only a “tiny concrete marker with no name” for a headstone, until now.
For some inexplicable reason, you can get any box of cereal right now for $1.79 at the Rite Aid in Grand Central in Manhattan. These normally run
Dan loves Kellogg’s Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts. When he saw Kellogg’s had a new version, “Pop-Tarts Go-Tarts,” he gave them a shot and was promptly disgusted. “Bad as in “I ordered the filet and I got rump” bad,” he says.
“Drop a jean size in two weeks?” Meghann Marco was incredulous as she read the promise on a box of Special K. So she’s going to follow all the rules and in two weeks time, walk into Express and see if she can fit into a pair of size 2 denims. Day 1 already has her allergic to oranges, so it’s sure to be a wild ride.
Awesome! In addition to Kellog’s Corn Flakes crunchy goodness, there’s a free DVD inside! Oh wait, it’s a mail-in movie club. Let’s see what titles they offer.
A reader is unhappy with his Nutty Nuggets, a generic cereal brand. Specifically, their limitless desire to turn into fibrous dust. Dave doesn’t doubt their nutrient and mineral content, nor their properties as a “colostomy bag in a bowl.”
Ok, But When Frankeberry Mooches Money And Steals Your Girlfriend, You Know This Whole Brands As Personalities Thing Has Gone Too Far
Why don’t they make cereal anymore like Twinkles? As this commercial shows, the box came with a storybook on the back, with such stories as “Sleepy the Baby Kangaroo” and “The Lion Who Loved Himself.” Oh wait, kids can’t read anymore. Rats.