(mindclouder)

Traveler Arrested At Airport Because Breast Implants Should Not Be Packed With Cocaine

Though there are plenty of horror stories out there about people getting crazy or dangerous substances implanted by way of dubious medical procedures, stuffing breast implants with cocaine brings things to a whole new level of nuttery. And as it turns out, it’s not a good way to smuggle drugs, as one traveler recently found out. [More]

(kejreeves)

FAA: Pilot Endangered People By Buzzing His House, The Mall At 500 Feet

Seeing your world down on Earth in miniature is something we humans have enjoyed ever since the first person got to the top of something tall, looked down and said “Oooh, that’s my cave all the way down there!” But the Federal Aviation Administration says one pilot flying a US Airways passenger flight should’ve resisted that urge when he reportedly buzzed his house and a local mall at an altitude of only 500 feet. [More]

There’s “I’m Unhappy With My Hair” Mad, And Then There’s “Throwing Salon Chairs” Mad

(ashi)

It is a customer’s right to express dissatisfaction with a paid service, but that right doesn’t extend to throwing, chucking and otherwise tossing anything you can get your hands on in an angry fit. According to cops in New York City, that’s how one woman reacted to a hairdo gone wrong. [More]

California City Will Fine Couple $500 For Not Watering Brown Lawn, State Will Fine’em $500 If They Do

(Shaylor)

When you’re in a steady relationship, communication is clear. Because when mom says to do one thing, and dad says another, the kids get really confused. Such is the case in California, where the state has issued rules for homeowners to conserve water in the midst of extreme drought, with fines of $500 per day or violating those guidelines, but one city is threatening to fine a couple $500 — unless they water their lawn. [More]

Black Friday can now be anytime, any month.

Dear Petco: If You Insist On Pushing Black Friday In July Promos, At Least Make It An Awesome Deal

If you’re getting an email from Petco trumpeting a “Black Friday In July!” promo that’s only serving to tick you off, you’re not alone. Consumerist readers Matthew and Kelso both forwarded their sighs along with a Petco email that is very, very excited about a not-so-great deal that just serves to make people cranky. Because it’s not Black Friday. It’s just Friday, in July. [More]

(WABC-7 News)

Lowe’s Workers Fix Veteran’s Wheelchair After It Breaks In N.Y. Store

If you’ve got equipment that’s in the midst of breaking down, there’s perhaps nowhere more convenient to be than a huge warehouse filled with tools. So when a veteran’s wheelchair gave way during a shopping trip with his wife at Lowe’s, he didn’t panic. And neither did workers nearby, who put their fix-it expertise to use right there in the store. [More]

(Auto Express)

Elon Musk Reveals Details On Upcoming $35,000 Tesla

Dealerships and automakers around the country have been fighting electric car maker Tesla’s direct-to-customer sales model, but many have wondered why they care so much about a car that costs more than most people earn in a year. Now you can expect that fight to get even nastier after Tesla founder Elon Musk announced plans for a high-end electric car that only costs around $35,000. [More]

Airport Officials In L.A. Seize 67 Live Giant African Snails Meant For Human Consumption

That there snail is mighty big. (USDA)

Diners with an appetite for giant African snails in California will have to find another batch of the prohibited animals to snack on, after U.S. Customs and Border protection inspectors at the Los Angeles International Airport seized 67 of the live guys, which were destined for someone in San Dimas (otherwise known as the home of Bill and Ted). [More]

(The Caldor Rainbow)

Home Shopping Network CEO Says No Thanks To Job At JCPenney

Not so many years ago, the idea of an executive choosing to stick with Home Shopping Network over one of the nation’s most well-known retailers would have seemed like madness. But with the two businesses headed in very different directions, it’s not really a surprise that HSN CEO Mindy Grossman has, like much of America, decided to stay home rather than go to JCPenney. [More]

Here’s What Happens When You Ask A Starbucks Barista To Surprise You

Here’s What Happens When You Ask A Starbucks Barista To Surprise You

You probably can’t visit your local Starbucks and convince them to create a record-breaking $54 beverage in a giant flower vase, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ask the people there to blend up a menu-bending creation for you. You’ll have to pay for the privilege of enjoying a Neapolitan Frap or a breakfast shake with an entire blueberry muffin blended into it. [More]

(KSHB.com)

Man’s Phone Mailed Back To Him From Japan 9 Months After He Lost It In 280,000 Pounds Of Grain

When an Oklahoma farmer saw his phone disappear in a pit filled with 280,000 pounds of grain, he figured it was pretty much gone. The iPhone had fallen from his shirt pocket and gone up a grain elevator, and went on its merry way into the void. Or so he thought — until he got a call nine months later from a stranger in Japan. [More]

(YouTube)

Watch Video Of What It’s Like To Test World’s Tallest Water Slide, Feel Like Losing Your Insides

Have you eaten food recently and would you like it to stay eaten? Then maybe you don’t need to see point-of-view footage of what it’s like testing out the world’s tallest water slide, which just hosted its first human riders. Or sliders, whatever. [More]

Surprise! L’Oréal’s “Gene Boosting” Products Don’t Really Boost Your Genes Or Make You Younger

Surprise! L’Oréal’s “Gene Boosting” Products Don’t Really Boost Your Genes Or Make You Younger

The Federal Trade Commission announced this afternoon that it has reached a settlement deal with cosmetics giant L’Oréal regarding charges of deceptive advertising about its Lancôme Génifique and L’Oréal Paris Youth Code skincare products, which the company’s ad say provide anti-aging benefits by targeting users’ genes. [More]

Tow Truck Driver Just Trying To Do His Job When He’s Swarmed By Cranky Bees

(Theodore Scott)

First of all, let’s just get the scene from My Girl that no one wants to think about out of the way now… Ready? A tow truck driver in Maine was just trying to go about doing his job like he’s supposed to, when he had the misfortune of having a run-in with a cranky swarm of honeybees. [More]

(AngryJulieMonday)

Michaels Knows That The Rainbow Loom Gravy Train Has To Stop Eventually

Michaels, a store that sells craft supplies and random decorative crap, managed to become the only big-box craft store that sells kids’ current favorite craft/toy, the Rainbow Loom. Here’s the problem with having one hot product, though: it might boost a company’s sales and profits now, but how long will the trend last? [More]

Supreme Court To Decide When Online Rants Cross Line Into Criminal Threats

Supreme Court To Decide When Online Rants Cross Line Into Criminal Threats

If I go on Facebook and tell someone in Florida that I am going to beat him into a bloody pulp and maybe kidnap his kid for good measure, I’m in violation of federal law. But does it matter whether I actually intend to do any of these things or if I’m just ranting with no intention of getting up from my comfy couch to do anyone any harm? That’s the question the Supreme Court will soon have to decide. [More]

(YouTube)

Coke Ad Suggests Maybe You Should Pay For That 140-Calorie Soda With Some Exercise

Either Coca-Cola is crazy like a fox or just the kind of crazy that means showing people exactly how long they’ll have to exercise in order to work off the calories in a 16-ounce can of Coke. Speficically, its new campaign points out that it takes the average person 23 minutes of cycling to “pay” for those 140 calories, at which point a Rube Goldeberg-esque device will deliver the goods. [More]

(National Weather Service)

Albuquerque’s Grasshopper Invasion Is So Intense, The Bugs Are Showing Up On Weather Radar

If you don’t like the idea of grasshoppers descending on your town like a creepy, crawly blanket of bugs, stop reading now. Because while that’s probably not exactly what Albuquerque feels like right now, there’s an invasion of grasshoppers in that area right now so dense that the bugs are showing up on weather radar. [More]