(Bunch O Balloons)

Smartest Person Alive Invents Gadget That Fills & Ties 37 Water Balloons At Once

On the one hand, who wouldn’t want to be sitting pretty in a backyard fort with hundreds of water balloons that took only minutes to fill and tied themselves. On the other hand — no, I can’t. There is no downside to a device that allows you to fill 37 balloons with water at one time and spares you the time/pain of tying all those slippery little suckers. [More]

(WCPO News)

Walmart: Ice Cream Sandwiches That Don’t Melt After 12 Hours Outside Just Have Less Cream

You see an ice cream sandwich and think, “Mmm, ice cream sandwich!” But wait — it’s been sitting out for more than 24 hours… and it’s still recognizable as an ice cream sandwich. Something seems freaky here. [More]

(afagfen)

Cruise Ship Passengers Tell Senators Their Horror Stories During Committee Hearing On Industry Safety

From the widely reported horrific conditions of the Carnival Triumph’s Poop Cruise, to the nightmarish experience of sexual assault while onboard, cruise ship passengers recounted their horror stories during a Senate Commerce Committee hearing aimed at boosting protections for travelers in the industry. [More]

(maybeemily)

Robbing A Bank While Wearing A Shirt With Your Name On It Isn’t A Great Plan

If only all suspects would do police the favor of wearing their identifying information on their shirts, the world would no doubt be a much more peaceful place. Alas, not everyone can be as courteous, but police in Denver say a man accused of robbing a bank did them a solid by displaying his first name right there on his shirt. [More]

(FlyinAce2000)

Hackers Seeking Ransom Steal User Data From European Central Bank’s Website

The European Central Bank announced today that hackers have stolen about 20,000 email addresses and an unknown but lower amount of other information like physical addresses and phone numbers from a database serving its website. The information was reportedly lifted from the ECB’s listings of people who register for its events, and isn’t tied to internal ECB systems. [More]

(Jon Gos)

Drunk Guy On His First Flight Makes Rookie Mistake, Confuses Cabin Door With Bathroom

Because we all don’t possess nerves of steel when confronted with the reality of flying through the air in a big metal box, essentially, it’s understandable that a guy going on his first flight effort would have a few drinks to relax. But maybe someone should’ve warned him about the propensity for doors to become confusing when you’re under in the influence. [More]

Safe for work -- he's got skivvies on. (Southwest Florida Crimestoppers)

Everybody Wants The Night Shift After Naked Hamburglars Steal A Bunch Of Beef From Eatery

There’s nothing like a bit of a “bad boy” image to turn even upstanding, law-abiding citizens into admirers — and by that I mean, there’s nothing like the sight of three (mostly) naked men stealing from a restaurant in the middle of the night to make staff laugh. [More]

(Lunauna)

Grocery Store Runs On Electricity Generated By Its Own Food Waste

It’s the ciiiiiiircle, the circle of life, but instead of a cartoon lion there’s a grocery store running on electricity generated by the same food waste that store creates. More recycling, fewer anthropomorphic talking animals, but it’s a circle… of science. [More]

There’s “I’m Unhappy With My Hair” Mad, And Then There’s “Throwing Salon Chairs” Mad

(ashi)

It is a customer’s right to express dissatisfaction with a paid service, but that right doesn’t extend to throwing, chucking and otherwise tossing anything you can get your hands on in an angry fit. According to cops in New York City, that’s how one woman reacted to a hairdo gone wrong. [More]

(lungstruck)

6 Things We Learned About The Wiener Business From The Founder Of The Hot Dog University

It’s the middle of National Hot Dog Month and today just so happens to be National Hot Dog Day, so what better time than now to learn a little bit more about those wieners, and the business of selling them? Because yes, there is a Hot Dog University run by a master of hot dogs, who seems to have all the answers. [More]

(Great Beyond)

Vandals Ruining Perfectly Good Pastries By Smearing Them All Over Cars In Oregon

As responsible consumers, we feel that the waste of delicious food in order to wreak havoc on others is a downright waste, if not a crime against cuisine. You have to respect the stuff we eat — there’s a reason your parents told you not to play with your food. Respect. Also, it’s gross. [More]

(Chris Rief aka Spodie Odie)

Face It: The Ability To Stream Any Episode Of ‘The Simpsons’ Means Your Productivity Is Shot

You might’ve already scheduled a vacation starting Aug. 21, when FXX will air all 522 episodes of The Simpsons during its 11-day marathon, but if you wait until October, all those episodes will be available online, on demand. [More]

Oregonians Get Another Chance To Vote On Recreational Marijuana Come This November

(Brett Levin Photography)

For the last two years, Oregonians in favor of marijuana for recreational use have had to stare glumly across the border at Washington State, where it’s legal, after a ballot initiative to legalize the stuff failed in 2012. But if at first you don’t succeed… You know where this is going. [More]

(Otherstream)

Kroger Pharmacist Accused Of Taking Up-Skirt Photo By Squatting Next To Customer In Line

It’s an unfortunate reality in this mobile world we’re living in that people who shouldn’t be taking photos of say, the view up a person’s skirt, can now more easily do so with these handy devices we all have at the ready. That’s what has one Kroger store pharmacist in hot water in Georgia. [More]

(Amanda SG)

“The World’s Largest Bottle Of Catsup” Can Be Yours For Only $500,000

I know, I don’t call it “catsup” either, but the fact remains that a huge bottle of the tomato-based condiment is for sale, which means someone will soon be crowned the owner of “The World’s Largest Bottle Of Catsup.” [More]

(via Valleywag)

Banana Republic’s “Startup Guy” Has Half-Tucked In Shirt, Cool Belt, No Female Counterpart

You know who dresses like this guy in a Banana Republic promo? Bradley Cooper, Jude Law and possibly Robert Pattinson, when he’s not busy being a sparkly vampire ingenue. Men accustomed to a certain amount of leisure, the sort who may encounter perfectly fine beach sand at any moment, thus requiring them to unshod their feet so they walk toward the frothy, cool water lapping at the shore near their villas. No socks required in that lifestyle! You know who probably doesn’t so much dress like this? Startup guys, despite Banana Republic’s attempt to convince us otherwise. [More]

(AJENT.MSG)

Being In New Verizon Wireless Rewards Program Means Giving It Your Phone’s Location, Web Browsing Info

There’s no such thing as a free lunch, so it comes as no surprise that companies want a little something in return when they reward customers for staying loyal. Thus, the tradeoff at the center of Verizon Wireless’ new Verizon Smart Rewards system: Customers opt in to the company’s location-tracking/marketing program, Verizon Selects, and then earn points toward discounts on “brand-name” merchandise and deals at local restaurants, stores and offers on travel. [More]

Spray-Painting Your Grass Green Is One Way To Avoid “Brown Lawn” Fees

(afagen)

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and things are desperately dry right about now in California. But what’s a homeowner to do, when the state is telling you not to water your lawn too often or get fined $500, and the city is demanding you not have a brown lawn or face the same fee fate? Grab a can of paint. [More]