Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Life. Down. The Drain. (SkyMall)

SkyMall Wants You To Watch The Seconds Of Your Life Tick, Tick, Ticking Away

“Is this reeeeaaaall?!” is a question that we ask each other around Consumerist HQ pretty much every day. Because if we’ve learned anything from this wide world, it’s that people are absolutely trying their best to invent things that make us feel crazy inside. For example: A watch that counts down the years, months, days, hours, minutes and seconds of your life. Until you die. Not because the watch itself will kill you, but still, creepy. [More]

(Potlicker Kitchen)

Someone Made Craft Beer Jelly Because That Is Clearly What Peanut Butter Has Been Missing

How often do you eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a frosty pint of craft beer? Not that often, probably. But that doesn’t mean peanut butter isn’t bummed to be missing out on enjoying a cold one while it’s in that sandwich. Rejoice, then, peanut butter: Someone in Vermont has started making craft beer jelly. [More]

No throwing this out in Seattle. (szczel)

Seattle Will Start Charging $1 Compost Fee For Too Much Food Waste In The Trash

The residents of Seattle will soon be busy staring intently into their trash cans. Or at least that’s what I’d be doing if I lived there, because the Seattle City Council just okayed a new rule that amounts to $1 fines for anyone chucking away too much food waste or compostable paper products. [More]

(jenni waterloo)

Indiana Woman Lived In A House For Eight Years Without Ever Having To Pay For It

The luxury of not having to pay rent or a mortgage payment every month might seem like some kind of fever dream, obtainable only by those scant few who make the rest of us uncomfortably jealous, but one woman in Indiana managed to pull it off not just for a few months or even a year — but for eight years. [More]

(chrismar)

Former Apple Exec Behind The iPod On Gadget Nostalgia: “Time Marches On”

Do you whisper goodnight to your iPod classic before tucking it into its bed each night? Are you the kind of person who still pines for the first Nintendo you ever had, eschewing all other gaming consoles ever since? Get over it, says the former Apple executive who oversaw the iPod until leaving the company in 2008. All technology is born to die, and be replaced. [More]

Humane Society Accuses Kohl’s Of Passing Off Raccoon Dog Fur In Parka As “Faux” Online

Humane Society Accuses Kohl’s Of Passing Off Raccoon Dog Fur In Parka As “Faux” Online

The Humane Society once again has department store chain Kohl’s in its sights for allegedly advertising a product online that contains real raccoon dog fur and passing it off as “faux,” saying the company is in violation of FTC’s Fur Products Labeling Act and has deceived consumers. [More]

(sonyaseattle)

Seattle Prosecutor Dropping Seven Months Worth Of Tickets For Using Marijuana In Public

Remember that cop in Seattle accused of going rogue in light of Washington’s legalization of recreational marijuana? Officials in that city say he issued about 80% of all the tickets for using pot in public, and had urged ticketed residents to contest any and all marijuana tickets as a result. Now Seattle’s prosecutor is just wiping seven months of marijuana tickets from the board entirely. [More]

Kansas To Officially Declare October “Zombie Preparedness Month”

(Mike Rollerson Photography)

You might know to aim for the brain and that if one bites you, you’re a goner — but how else could you possibly prepare for the inevitable zombie apocalypse? Kansas wants its residents to be ready for that — or really, any kind of large scale disaster — and is declaring October “Zombie Preparedness Month” to spread the word. [More]

(KOIN)

Police Officers Finish Delivering Order After Pizza Hut Driver Is Injured In Car Crash

It’s the joke that must be made — Portland Police not only protect, but they serve… pizza. Because after a Pizza Hut delivery driver was injured in a car crash, the cops made a special effort to ensure that his customers didn’t go hungry, and delivered up the pizza in his stead. [More]

Not the tacos in question, they just look yummy. (ChrisGoldNY)

Drug Ring Bust Exposes Food Truck Selling Tacos With A Side Of Meth

It’s no Los Pollos Hermanos, but Mexican food and methamphetamines have met once again, this time outside the fictional bounds of Breaking Bad, on a taco truck in Denver. Of 17 people there recently indicted on charges related to trafficking/selling meth, one was accused of shilling meth right from the taco truck where she worked. [More]

(JoelZimmer)

Beer Cruise Ends In Disappointment For 121 People After Boat Runs Aground Near Statue Of Liberty

While the Statue of Liberty is definitely a prime tourist attraction, 121 beer enthusiasts were likely not too happy to be run aground near the Green Lady over the weekend, when their booze cruise as unexpectedly cut short. [More]

You Won’t Get Through Airport Security With 58 Bricks Of Pot, 2 Guns And 350 Rounds Of Ammo, FYI

(TSA)

Don’t let the headline mislead you: It’s pretty much guaranteed you won’t get through airport security with 57 bricks of pot and any amount of guns and ammo. But the point here is that someone actually tried to hide all those very prohibited objects in luggage. Transportation Security Administration agents put the kibosh on that over the weekend at John F. Kennedy International Airport in NYC. [More]

(UPS Store)

UPS Expanding 3D Printing Services To 100 Stores

Because not everyone has a professional 3D printer at home, but because everyone might have an interest in printing out say, a mug, a lamp, or even a bike, UPS says it’s adding 100 more stores to the list of locations that offer 3D printing. [More]

(@DsladeNews)

When you’re expecting a box of paper clips in the mail, there are some very tense moments where one must come face to face with the reality that those paper clips might arrive damaged, unable to clip pieces of paper to each other. Breathe easy, folks — ordering from Staples means those fragile metal clips will get from point A to point B safely, thanks to the help of a huge box and plenty of air pouches. Whew. [@DsladeNews on Twitter]

(DCVision2006)

Jewelry Stores Hide Price Tags So Customers Don’t Bolt For The Door Immediately

There’s nothing quite like cruising around the aisles of a jewelry store or department like a creep, stealing glances at baubles and bangles while trying not to act too interested. Because there are no price tags on many of those items, so heaven forbid if someone were to come up and ask if you want to check it out, and then if turns out to be nine majillion dollars you have to back out, embarrassed. There’s a reason there are no price tags proudly on display, of course. [More]

DSW Will Pay $900,000 Former Workers To Settle Age Discrimination Lawsuit

(Timothy J Silverman)

Shoe retailer DSW is on the line for $900,000 after agreeing to settle an age discrimination lawsuit brought by former employees, who said the company fired older workers just because of their ages. And if other employees refused to fire workers based on their age, the plaintiffs claimed DWS retaliated against them as well. [More]

(WFAA)

Woman Breaks Car Windshield With A Tire Iron To Rescue Child Left Inside

While reports of concerned strangers breaking into hot cars to rescue children trapped inside aren’t always what they seem, that didn’t stop one woman from breaking a car’s windshield with a tire iron to save a one-year-old child who’d reportedly been left in there for 40 minutes. [More]

This guy is for sale.

Apple Sold More Than 10 Million New iPhones In Three Days

Have you heard of this iPhone thing? It’s the sixth of its kind, and one of them is really big and apparently, people are buying them: Apple says that in the first three days the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus were on sale, the company sold more than 10 million of the new devices. [More]