We’ve gotta hand it to border officers: It can’t be easy to figure out that someone is smuggling a whole lot of cash in her bra without being creepy. “Eyes up here, buddy!” and all of that. Despite that potentially tricky situation, two Canadian women were stopped from entering the country after officials at the Detroit-Windsor Tunnel discovered $59,000 in cash squirreled away in their brassieres. [More]
Bra Is Either Working Overtime In The Padding Department Or You’re Smuggling $59K In Cash
By June 12, 2013
We Are Shocked, Simply Shocked That Business Is Booming At Restaurant With “No Kids” Policy
By June 12, 2013
There is a sound cherished by many diners, and it’s the sound… of silence. That’s not always easy to achieve at restaurants that cater to all ages, which is why one new sushi joint in Virginia has instituted a “no kids” policy. And apparently, that lack of anyone under the age of 18 is helping the new place do gangbusters business. And honestly, do kids even like sushi? I know I didn’t — it was all squishy and stuff. [More]
The Poop Cruise Ship Sails Again: First Two Triumph Voyages Are Sold Out
By June 12, 2013
What is it about poop-filled hallways and sewage slushies that has somehow become appealing? The world may never know, but despite the Carnival Cruise ship Triumph’s reign as the Poop Cruise, it’s set to sail the high seas again with its first two voyages completely sold out. Yeah, we know — what in the what? [More]
Sales Of Orwell’s Dystopian ’1984′ Have Spiked With News Of NSA Surveillance
By June 12, 2013
There’s a hot book on the scene — have you heard about it? It’s this wacky vision of a dystopian future where the government is always listening. And oh yeah, it’s George Orwell’s 1984, which was published 64 years ago. Sales of the futuristic cautionary tale to society have been hopping in the wake of the National Security Agency surveillance scandal, with one edition jumping from No. 73797 to No. 125 on the Amazon.com best-seller list. [More]
Walgreens To Pay $80 Million In Settlement Over Black Market Painkillers
By June 12, 2013
Walgreens — or, as known by its proper name, Walgreen — has agreed to pony up a whopping $80 million to settle claims by the government that it was negligent in allowing painkillers to end up on the black market. It’s the largest settlement in the history of the Drug Enforcement Administration, and is the result of an investigation into a distribution center in Florida that had been receiving a high number of prescription pain meds from six pharmacies in the state. [More]
Bank Clerk Transfers $300M After Falling Asleep With His Finger On The Keyboardddddd…
By June 11, 2013
Sorry about that headline, I’ve just been really tired and not sleeping well and anyway — where was my bank account when a snoozing clerk accidentally transferred about $300 million accidentally? Oh, right. It wasn’t in Germany, which is where our dozing dude made his rather large mistake. It only took a second for him to fall asleep and leave his finger on the keyboard, turning a 2 into well, 222222222…
Lululemon’s See-Through Pants CEO Backs Right Out The Door
By June 11, 2013
Fresh on the heels of Lululemon’s announcement that it’d finally fixed that whole “You can see my butt through these pants, can’t you?” problem and would be restocking the luon pants with “more fabric across the bum” in its stores, the company’s CEO Christine Day has announced that she’ll be backing out the door. [More]
Everyone Is Gross: Study Says 95% Of Us Don’t Wash Our Hands The Right Way
By June 11, 2013
You’ve had your suspicions, and you’ve cast many a side-eyed glance at your fellow restroom patrons when they skip the sinks and head out the door. But a new study says even if you do wash your hands after using the bathroom, 95% of us aren’t doing it long enough to kill harmful bacteria. In essence, we’re all totally grody germ-spreaders. [More]
Google Scoops Up Online Mapping Service Waze Just Like Everyone Expected
By June 11, 2013
Despite the fact that online mapping service Waze has been all up in the news lately for flirting with several suitors, the announcement that Google has emerged triumphant after a short courtship is barely a surprise. It’s like the new girl at school being polite and talking to the various guys trying to make a great first impression, until the quarterback walks in and everyone knows it’s all over. Google just always seems to get the girl. [More]
Plane Full Of People Stuck On Tarmac Believe They Can Fly, Believe They Can Touch The Sky
By June 11, 2013
Thirsty, hot passengers, holding on by a thread after suffering through the travel nightmare of a hot plane grounded on a tarmac. There was nowhere for them to go but into the magical world of song, where anything is possible, where they believe… well, they believe they can fly. They believe, in fact, that they can touch the sky, right along with R. Kelly. [More]
CFPB: Bank Customers Leaking $225 In Overdraft Fees Per Year On Average
By June 11, 2013
Why is your bank account leaking so much money ever year? Where does it all go? Checking account customers are bleeding funds to the tune of about $225 per year on average, the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau says in a new study. That means that despite regulations aimed at lessening the effects of overdraft fees and clear up the whole process. [More]
No Explosives Found On Diverted Southwest Airlines Flight After Phoned-In Bomb Threat
By June 11, 2013
Passengers likely had a bit of a scare yesterday, after their Southwest Airlines flight from Los Angeles was diverted to Phoenix instead of its Austin destination. The FBI said Monday that the flight had to change course after a “telephonic bomb threat was made.” That’s official speak for “someone called and said a bomb was on the plane.” However, no bombs or explosives have been found on the plane, authorities say. So, whew. [More]
Feds Decide Women Of All Ages Should Have Access To The Morning After Pill
By June 11, 2013
The federal government has backed down from its previous position that only women 15 or older could purchase emergency contraception without prescriptions, and told a judge that it will comply with his order that girls of any age should have access to it. This includes Plan B, the one-step form of the pill, whereas recently a judge had only been able to clear the way for a generic, two-day version for all ages. [More]
Deliberately Chugging An Excessive Amount Of Soy Sauce Can Put You In A Literal Food Coma
By June 10, 2013
Too much of a good thing can often turn into a bad thing — guzzling too much soda, for example — something one 19-year-old found out the hard way after his friends dared him to chug a whole lot of soy sauce. How much, soy sauce, you might be asking as your hand freezes with the bottle held over that beef and broccoli? Enough to put the young man in a coma and nearly kill him. [More]
N.J. Bill Would Allow Police To Search Drivers’ Cell Phones After Car Crashes
By June 10, 2013
It isn’t just drunk drivers police in New Jersey are worried about — one state senator is introducing a bill that would allow authorities to search through drivers’ phones after an accident, likening the act of texting on them while driving to having an open bottle of booze in the car. [More]
9 Things We Can Never Unhear From Customer’s Dunkin’ Donuts Receipt Rant
By June 10, 2013
Set your cringe muscles on “active” and stick in those earbuds, because we’re about to steer you into a very NSFW 8-minute video journey into the land of Consumers Behaving Badly. Just to remind you all once again, that there’s a whole lot of language in here that is not meant for polite company — including racial slurs toward the very end — so view with caution. [More]
That’s Great That You’re The Designated Driver — Now Why Are You Taking Shots?
By June 10, 2013
Listen, we think it’s fantastic, like totally selfless and wonderful of you, to volunteer to be the designated driver. But the thing is, now that you’ve been, well, designated, as it were, there’s something you should know: You aren’t supposed to be drunk while shouldering that responsibility. It kinda defeats the whole purpose. [More]
IKEA Couple Adds To Trend Of Marrying In The Retail Store Where They First Met
By June 10, 2013
Did you just meet your soulmate, your forever and ever partner on this journey we call life? Okay then stop — are you in a retail store? Mark the location because the trendy thing to do these days is to get married exactly where you met. Joining couples like the one that got married recently at Walmart, a twosome who found love in the aisle of an IKEA tied the knot in the same store that played host to cupid eight years ago. [More]
