(Great Beyond)

Vandals Ruining Perfectly Good Pastries By Smearing Them All Over Cars In Oregon

As responsible consumers, we feel that the waste of delicious food in order to wreak havoc on others is a downright waste, if not a crime against cuisine. You have to respect the stuff we eat — there’s a reason your parents told you not to play with your food. Respect. Also, it’s gross. [More]

(Chris Rief aka Spodie Odie)

Face It: The Ability To Stream Any Episode Of ‘The Simpsons’ Means Your Productivity Is Shot

You might’ve already scheduled a vacation starting Aug. 21, when FXX will air all 522 episodes of The Simpsons during its 11-day marathon, but if you wait until October, all those episodes will be available online, on demand. [More]

Oregonians Get Another Chance To Vote On Recreational Marijuana Come This November

(Brett Levin Photography)

For the last two years, Oregonians in favor of marijuana for recreational use have had to stare glumly across the border at Washington State, where it’s legal, after a ballot initiative to legalize the stuff failed in 2012. But if at first you don’t succeed… You know where this is going. [More]

(Otherstream)

Kroger Pharmacist Accused Of Taking Up-Skirt Photo By Squatting Next To Customer In Line

It’s an unfortunate reality in this mobile world we’re living in that people who shouldn’t be taking photos of say, the view up a person’s skirt, can now more easily do so with these handy devices we all have at the ready. That’s what has one Kroger store pharmacist in hot water in Georgia. [More]

(Amanda SG)

“The World’s Largest Bottle Of Catsup” Can Be Yours For Only $500,000

I know, I don’t call it “catsup” either, but the fact remains that a huge bottle of the tomato-based condiment is for sale, which means someone will soon be crowned the owner of “The World’s Largest Bottle Of Catsup.” [More]

(via Valleywag)

Banana Republic’s “Startup Guy” Has Half-Tucked In Shirt, Cool Belt, No Female Counterpart

You know who dresses like this guy in a Banana Republic promo? Bradley Cooper, Jude Law and possibly Robert Pattinson, when he’s not busy being a sparkly vampire ingenue. Men accustomed to a certain amount of leisure, the sort who may encounter perfectly fine beach sand at any moment, thus requiring them to unshod their feet so they walk toward the frothy, cool water lapping at the shore near their villas. No socks required in that lifestyle! You know who probably doesn’t so much dress like this? Startup guys, despite Banana Republic’s attempt to convince us otherwise. [More]

(AJENT.MSG)

Being In New Verizon Wireless Rewards Program Means Giving It Your Phone’s Location, Web Browsing Info

There’s no such thing as a free lunch, so it comes as no surprise that companies want a little something in return when they reward customers for staying loyal. Thus, the tradeoff at the center of Verizon Wireless’ new Verizon Smart Rewards system: Customers opt in to the company’s location-tracking/marketing program, Verizon Selects, and then earn points toward discounts on “brand-name” merchandise and deals at local restaurants, stores and offers on travel. [More]

Spray-Painting Your Grass Green Is One Way To Avoid “Brown Lawn” Fees

(afagen)

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and things are desperately dry right about now in California. But what’s a homeowner to do, when the state is telling you not to water your lawn too often or get fined $500, and the city is demanding you not have a brown lawn or face the same fee fate? Grab a can of paint. [More]

(marike79)

Police: Woman Tried To Smuggle Sex Toy Out Of Store In Her Kid’s Stroller

It’s always a sign of questionable parenting decisions when bad consumers involve their kids in their nefarious schemes, and at the least, is likely to teach those future consumers all the wrong things. So it’s with a sigh that we have to tell you a woman allegedly tried to sneak a sex toy out of a Spencer’s store by hiding it in her kid’s stroller. [More]

(Flyinace2000)

Beware Scammy Facebook Pages And Fake Charities Taking Advantage Of Flight MH17 Tragedy

It is a disgusting reality that when tragedy strikes, there’s always going to be someone out there trying to take advantage of it for personal gain. That’s what’s happening in the wake of downed Malaysia Airlines Flight 17, which was reportedly shot down over Ukraine Thursday on its way to Kuala Lumpur from Amsterdam. All 298 people aboard the Boeing 777 were killed. [More]

Straw to the brain, Linklater style.

Director Richard Linklater’s Tip To Deal With People Texting In Movies: A Straw To The Brain

First of all, let’s be clear: Violence is never the answer, and you should not hurt your fellow human beings. But if you don’t want director Richard Linklater to stab you in the brain with a straw, don’t text during the movies. Because he seems pretty serious. [More]

(C x 2)

New Minivan Feature Helps Parents Yell More Effectively At Their Kids

Sometimes it’s necessary to remind children very sternly that unbuckling their seatbelts in order to more effectively wallop their brother is not okay while you’re driving. At those times, a parent probably wants to make sure kids know they are not in a joking mood, but maybe need some help making sure they can yell effectively while driving. So why not let the car help? [More]

(MoneyBlogzNews)

Jury Smacks Tobacco Company R.J. Reynolds With $23 Billion Verdict

The bill has arrived for R.J. Reynolds Tobacco company in a lawsuit brought by a Florida woman whose husband smoked cigarettes and later died from lung cancer, and the company is not pleased: The jury returned one of the largest verdicts ever against a tobacco company, smacking Reynolds with $23.6 billion in damages. [More]

(kevin dean)

New Hike In TSA Security Fee Means Higher Ticket Prices For Travelers

Next time you buy an airline ticket, you might notice it’s just a tad bit more expensive. That’s because the United States has a deficit to pay down, so it’s ordered the Transportation Security Administration to increase the security fee it charges each traveler. [More]

15 Product Trademarks That Have Become Victims Of Genericization

(Brandon King; kellogg; joseph a)

Sometimes, we hurt the ones we love. Which is why even if we didn’t mean to be so harsh, many products we use every day have become the victims of trademark genericization, meaning they’ve morphed from a single product identified under a name to an entire product category. And when courts get involved it becomes “genericide,” which sounds even more murderous. Can’t you just imagine Law & Order: Genericized Trademarks? [dun dun] [More]

It's you! On bread.

Yes, There Is A Toaster That Will Toast Your Likeness Onto Bread

As if splashing your selfie over social media isn’t enough, self-indulgence can now be obtained to an even higher degree by literally indulging in your own face, by way of toast. A novelty toaster company is selling custom toasters that sear your likeness onto bread, thereby providing an easy way to eat your own face, covered in butter. This is getting weird, sorry. [More]

California City Will Fine Couple $500 For Not Watering Brown Lawn, State Will Fine’em $500 If They Do

(Shaylor)

When you’re in a steady relationship, communication is clear. Because when mom says to do one thing, and dad says another, the kids get really confused. Such is the case in California, where the state has issued rules for homeowners to conserve water in the midst of extreme drought, with fines of $500 per day or violating those guidelines, but one city is threatening to fine a couple $500 — unless they water their lawn. [More]

The meltiest of times. (@karen_g)

A Tale Of Two Uber Ice Creams: It Was The Best Of Times, It Was The Meltiest Of Times

I scream, you scream, we all want to make loud noises over that frozen dessert made of sweetened milk fat. So hearing that Uber is offering an on-demand ice cream delivery in certain cities today is no doubt quickening many hearts. But at $5 a pop, is the stuff even good? [More]