(JoshBassett|PHOTOGRAPHY)

Former Chipotle Worker Claims She Was Fired For Taking Time To Heal After Abusive Situation

A former New York City Chipotle worker is suing the Mexican eatery, claiming she was fired from her job because she took time off to recover from an abusive situation involving her boyfriend. She says in the suit that when she fractured her finger during an altercation with her boyfriend, she was punished for taking time off on the doctor’s orders. [More]

Walkmans Are Totally Ridiculous To Kids Who’ve Never Made An Awesome Mix Tape Before

Walkmans Are Totally Ridiculous To Kids Who’ve Never Made An Awesome Mix Tape Before

There are probably many remnants from our not-so-far-off past that sure, seem a bit archaic — remember when you had to rent a VCR from Blockbuster? — but because we lived through technology like cassette players and video stores, it’s just fun nostalgia. For kids who never had to hone their fast-forwarding skills to hit just the right song or labor over mix tapes though, something like a Walkman is downright weird. [More]

Amazon’s Algorithm Evolves To Suggest Just The Right Stuff For Drug Deals

Amazon’s Algorithm Evolves To Suggest Just The Right Stuff For Drug Deals

Listen, Amazon. There are lots of things a person might use a scale for, various things that need weighing and so forth. But if you happen to be in the market for a particular scale that happens to be popular with drug dealers, Amazon’s purchase recommendations algorithm thinks you might be in the market for say, plastic baggies and rolling papers. [More]

Science Validates The Role Of Snacks In Keeping Couples From Going To Bed “Hangry”

Science Validates The Role Of Snacks In Keeping Couples From Going To Bed “Hangry”

You know that feeling where if you don’t get something in your stomach right this very minute you are going to chuck the entire contents of this dresser against the wall, so help me? Being hungry can make you extra angry, say scientists who are doing us all a huge favor by validating the phrase “hangry,” meaning you should have a snack if you’re in a spat with your significant other to counter that phenomenon. [More]

Sigh.

Teenagers Decide New Cool Thing To Do Is Make Copycat Airline Bomb Threats On Twitter

I don’t envy teenagers — it’s just so hard to keep up with the coolest trends. Like are we still saying “for shizzle?” Are high fives acceptable? But if all your friends started tweeted fake bomb threats to American Airlines just because one Dutch girl did, would you throw yourself off that cliff, too? [More]

An example of the Netflix scam in action. (CBS News)

Scam Alert: No One From Netflix Will Ever Ask For Remote Access To Your Computer

Whenever someone you don’t know asks for remote access to your computer, a huge, noisy and very insistent alarm bell should immediately start clanging in your head. Because it’s probably a scam to get access to your personal files, credit card information and other information. [More]

Define "essential."

Life Lessons: Curb Your Love Of Neil Diamond While Your Phone Is Roaming Or Pay $4,300

On the one hand, satiating a burning desire to hear the sweet, sweet vocal stylings of Neil Diamond piped directly into your ear at the exact moment you want to hear them could make anyone act crazy. But one woman didn’t realize that getting Diamond-on-demand isn’t so great for the old wallet if you’re downloading an entire album while your phone is roaming. [More]

(KUSA TV)

Pot Vending Machine Is Like That Awesome Idea You Had Once In College, Except It’s Real

It was around two in the morning one winter morning back in 1996 — or wait, was it three a.m. in 2001? You can’t remember. All you know is the brilliant idea you had that one time after watching Half Baked and smoking you know, “the reefer,” is now a reality. A new company has debuted its pot vending machine in the only place that can welcome it right now, Colorado. [More]

"She did what in my bed?!?" (poopoorama)

Another Thing For Airbnb Renters To Worry About? Your Home Turning Into A Brothel

Much like the time your parents got an unexpected phone call that their car now resided upside down in the neighbor’s swimming pool, some Airbnb renters are none too pleased to find their homes have been used for ah, sexual recreation purposes that require police attention. In essence, beware the brothelization of your home. [More]

Yes, Tweeting “Jokes” To An Airline About “Doing Something Big” Can Get You Arrested

Yes, Tweeting “Jokes” To An Airline About “Doing Something Big” Can Get You Arrested

Although sometimes it can feel like engaging in social media is akin to shouting into a bottomless pit and no one is really listening, you better be sure that if you claim to be part of a terrorist group planning “something” big and tweet that to a major airline, well, someone’s going to hear you. And maybe put you in jail. [More]

Is It Better To Accidentally Throw Away $1.25M In Lottery Tickets Or To Never Have Won At All?

Is It Better To Accidentally Throw Away $1.25M In Lottery Tickets Or To Never Have Won At All?

Imagine you’ve been playing the exact same set of numbers for years on end, because you know, without a doubt, that these numbers are the numbers — the digits that are destined to bring you fame and fortune or at least, fortune. So would you rather learn you were right along but lost $1.25 million due to a twist of fate, or just never win at all? [More]

Man Named God Suing Equifax For Refusing To Believe He (And His Financial History) Exists

Man Named God Suing Equifax For Refusing To Believe He (And His Financial History) Exists

As if it’s not hard enough to go through life explaining why you share a name with a divine entity, a man called God is now suing credit-reporting agency Equifax claiming it refused to accept his name as a legitimate moniker. Basically, he’s trying to prove he exists. And along with that, of course, his credit history is also a real thing. [More]

KFC Peddling Drumstick Corsages Because High School Dances Aren’t Weird Enough Already

KFC Peddling Drumstick Corsages Because High School Dances Aren’t Weird Enough Already

As if it’s not hard enough to be a teenager dressed to the nines in a formal outfit that probably cost too much and won’t change your life in the way you’ve always dreamed of, in a room filled with other teenagers awkwardly swaying/pawing at each other, why not strap fried chicken to your arm and just call it a night? To wit: KFC is peddling customizable chicken drumstick corsages for those discerning promgoers looking to go that extra weird mile. [More]

Keep Your Herbs Moist, Your Spices Away From The Stove, And Other Food Storage Tips

(Allan)

You may not use things like cumin, honey, or sage in every meal, but these are the kinds of ingredients that many home cooks keep on hand so they can use them whenever they’re called for. But how do you keep that paprika from turning into colorful sawdust? And what’s the best way to store that fresh parsley so it won’t be dried up and useless a few days after you buy it? [More]

Teenagers Turning Restaurants Into The Cool New Hangout Spots As Malls Die Off

Teenagers Turning Restaurants Into The Cool New Hangout Spots As Malls Die Off

A word to any Hollywood screenwriters working on a scene where old cops go back to high school disguised as implausibly believable students — put those characters at a mall and real teenagers will know you don’t know what’s cool these days. Namely, malls are out, and restaurants are in as the new spot to hangout. [More]

Goose and Maverick, meet your competition.

Science Says: Swatting Fruit Flies Is Annoying Because They’re Basically Tiny Fighter Jets

As proven time and time again after you leave those bananas on the counter for too long, the grasping meathooks we call hands are basically ineffective when faced with the ever elusive fruit fly. But don’t feel bad, it’s not just your giant, clumsy hamfists, it’s that fruit flies are basically mini fighter jets. And they’re all named Maverick or Goose, obviously. [More]

(Crater of Diamonds State Park)

Teen Sells 3.85-Carat Yellow Diamond She Found At Gem Park For $20,000

First of all, before we get into money talk, color me flabbergasted by the fact that there’s a park where apparently you can find free gems, take them home at your leisure and then sell them. Crater of Diamonds State Park exists, and it’s made one 14-year-old girl way richer than most kids her age. [More]

Report: 44% Of Twitter Accounts Have Never Issued A Single Tweet

Report: 44% Of Twitter Accounts Have Never Issued A Single Tweet

If someone who signs up for a Twitter account but then fails to ever launch a single tweet, can we call said person a Twitter “user”? Or is there some other name for the 44% of all Twitter account holders who have never tweeted, perhaps “The Untweeted,” à la Game of Thrones or “Career Lurkers”? [More]