The Hamptons Can’t Even With This Rosé Shortage Right Now

If ever there was a time for the residents of the Hamptons to not even be able deal with a situation right now, it would be this moment: There have been reports that wine stores in that posh part of Long Island are running low on rosé wine. Will everyone just have to go thirsty? Aren’t we living in like, 2014? It’s the future, people. I can’t even. [insert relevant hashtag].

As breathlessly reported by that esteemed chronicler of the lifestyles of the New York wannabe famous set, Page Six, wine stores in the Hamptons are running “dangerously low” on rosé this weekend.

Why, might you ask, are the good denizens of the Hamptons suffering so from the lack of their summer beverage of choice? Because they’ve already guzzled it all.

We hear rumblings that restaurants and wine shops are low on local favorite Wölffer Estate, as well as imports like Domaines Ott and Chateau d’Esclans’ Whispering Angel, because the summering hordes have been tirelessly swilling all season long.

Page Six goes on to list which stores out of each particular rosé, including one shop that has ordered an “emergency” pallet.

Let’s all hope it doesn’t get as bad as 2012, when, apparently, Page Six notes, “rosé was running so low by Labor Day, some stores limited customers to four bottles apiece.”

!!!FOUR!!!!!EACH! Please. Have you even met the Hamptons?

It’s also worth reading this very funny Gothamist take on the shortage, even just for the “Greyer Gardens” tent I sort of want to live in. Correction! Very much want to live in.

Rosé running dangerously low in the Hamptons [Page Six]