Here we would normally summarize the post and quote highlights, but trust us: you need to go read the whole thing yourself.
We won’t even tell you whether she survived the ordeal (14 hours during which she wasn’t allowed to read a book, use the wi-fi, or anything else that would make 14 hours in a TGI Friday’s bearable) or finished all of the mozzarella sticks (she ordered 7 plates, and no one cut her off.)
Suddenly I’m very hungry, which I don’t think was supposed to be a reader’s reaction to this piece.
UPDATE: While Gawker was inflicting mediocre mozz sticks on its own employees, the Daily Beast recruited nationally-ranked professional eater (also, subway conductor and hip-hop artist) Eric “Badlands” Booker to stuff his face with potstickers until… well, the restaurant actually ran out of potstickers, and the manager offered a different appetizer in its place. His final tally was 48 potstickers, 36 boneless Buffalo wings, and 8 stuffed potato skins.
I’m not hungry anymore.