British Airways ‘Happiness Blanket’ Makes Passengers Look Like Idiots From The Future

Here we see a priest from the Temples of Syrinx enjoying a glass of white wine.

Here we see a priest from the Temples of Syrinx enjoying a glass of white wine.

Which gives you more anxiety: Flying across the Atlantic or looking like an extra from Logan’s Run? If you chose the former and you like to fly first class, then British Airways has a “Happiness Blanket” for you to try out.

No, the blanket isn’t intended to make you happy. It’s more for the airline to convince itself and others that its First Class amenities aren’t horrible. Kind of like a mood ring, but in blankie form.

We can't look at these silly blankets without thinking of all the tunics we'll be wearing in the future.

We can’t look at these silly blankets without
thinking of all the tunics we’ll
be wearing in the future.

BA has apparently been testing the LED-encrusted wool blankets (with Bluetooth-connected headband, because we all love having technology strapped to our heads while we rest) on some flights.

The airline says that the device strapped around your noggin “measures the electrical fluctuations in the neurons of the brain, identifying when the wearer is experiencing a feeling of well-being.”

The sensor transmits that info to the fiberoptic lighting in the blanket. When the wearer is stressed, the blanket glows red. When relaxed, it’s blue. When you’ve swallowed that entire ziploc baggie of magic mushrooms you forgot to take out of your bag before going to the airport, the blanket turns you into a seven-legged unicorn.

BA’s tests have thus far reached the paradigm-shattering conclusion that passengers’ mood improved while they drank liquor and ate food, finally proving once and for all that people don’t hate to eat and drink.

Perhaps BA should be testing out these blankets in Economy class, where passengers would be bumping their head-sensors against each other and spilling subpar meals on their expensive mood blankets.

[via BusinessWeek]