Hamburglars Rob McDonald’s, Caught After Crashing Into Mayor

An onlooker snapped this exclusive photograph of the crime scene.

An onlooker snapped this exclusive photograph of the crime scene.

In a scenario that any number of Happy Meal-raised kids played out with cheap plastic McDonald’s toys on their living room carpet, a robbery attempt at an Illinois Golden Arches was thwarted when the robbers crashed into the mayor’s car.

The Belleville News-Democrat reports that two men — ages 17 and 25 — stole cash (and, for the sake of our inner child, we’re going to believe they also made off with a tray of burgers) from a McDonald’s in Cahokia, IL, just across the river from St. Louis.

The hamburglars then led police on a high-speed chase into the nearby town of Centreville, where they promptly ran into the car of Centreville Mayor Marius “McCheese” Jackson, who sadly does not have a massive cheeseburger head or strut around town wearing a “Mayor” sash.

The mayor was taken to the hospital, but luckily he did not leak too much ketchup.

The suspects were apprehended after the crash and the stolen money was recovered, though there’s no mention of that tray of burgers we completely made up earlier.