If You’re Going To Be Arrested, Don’t Let It Be For Failing To Return J.Lo’s ‘Monster-In-Law’

"Did you return the movie?" "I thought you were returning the movie." "You're such a monster-in-law." "Indeed."

“Did you return the movie?” “I thought you were returning the movie.” “You’re such a monster-in-law.” “Indeed.”

Theft is theft, even it’s not returning a VHS copy of a middling Jennifer Lopez/Jane Fonda romantic comedy to the video, and even if it’s been nearly nine years since you rented it.

Fox Carolina reported on Friday [via Ars Technica] that a Pickens, South Carolina, woman was arrested and charged with failure to return a rented video cassette after her (now out-of-business) local video store said she’d not responded to any of its demands to return the movie.

To get the easy joke out of the way: Yes, this is the one person who rented Monster-In-Law. Alternate easy joke: The real crime is that she was still renting VHS tapes in 2005.

Moving on.

The customer had initially rented the film for a period of 72 hours. When it didn’t get the tape back, the store says it sent multiple letters to her home, and then a warrant in Sept. 2005.

It was that warrant that popped up during a recent records check on the J.Lo fan, finally resulting in her arrest.

The suspect says she never received the letters.

“I didn’t rent a movie with the intent of keeping it,” wrote a woman claiming to be the long-term renter, “at the time i had to up and move out of state due to my husbands job and honestly forgot all about it just as I’m sure some of you haters have done. I’m no criminal, but pickens county sheriffs office sure made me feel like i was.”

Amazingly, Monster-In-Law, which received almost universally dismal reviews, somehow managed to earn more than $150 million at the global box office during its release.

If you’re going to be arrested for not returning a J.Lo film, at least have it be Out of Sight.

This is just one of many library book/video rental arrests we’ve covered over the years. Here are some previous stories from the Consumerist archive:

You Can Go To Jail For An Overdue Library Book
That Overdue ‘Twilight’ Book & DVD Could Get You Arrested
Library Sends Police After 5-Year-Old Girl To Tell Her To Pay Up Or Return Two Overdue Books
George Washington Owes $300K For Overdue Library Books
Judge Fired In The Case Of The Overdue DVD
Iowa Woman Arrested For Failing To Return Library Book
6 Days In Jail For Overdue Library Books

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