Bill Gates Can Only Be Secret Santa To One Person And It’s Not You

First of all, yes, Bill Gates could be in multiple Secret Santa exchanges. But only one person in the Reddit gift exchange was going to get a present from Bill and she’s spoken up to let everyone else know that he is hers. You hear that? HERS. So back off.

In an experience that will surely give her bragging rights for at least another week, which in Internet time is like being famous in the real world for 30 years, a Reddit user named Rachel writes that was shocked to find out that the “friendly fellow” named Bill who sent her gift was actually a Bill the billionaire founder of Microsoft.

She writes that when it came time to open her gift, she had decided to document the whole experience. The first thing she noticed was a stuffed animal. Okay, cool.

“I didn’t know I gave off the stuffed animal vibe, but I excitedly added him to my collection of teddy bears and other delightful friendly creatures,” she says. “Next, I found the card. To me, from Bill. This still had not clicked, by the way, that it was Bill Gates.”

He sounded like a friendly fellow, she said, imagining someone peering through her wish list of an iPad, makeup and glittery things, and felt bad. When she opened the card she realized that this nice guy Bill had donated to a charity on her behalf, Heifer International.

Things hadn’t clicked yet, and she kept going, excited that her secret Santa had given such a great gift. But there was more — a bulky, heavy part of the gift, which turned out to be a travel book, Journeys of a Lifetime. As she flipped through the book, she says she at first missed the inscription, message and signature from THE Bill Gates on the first page and went to the next part of the present.

It was a photo of a man, holding a sign. A sign that she now had in her possession, which was signed “Bill Gates.” Aaaaaand cue extreme shock.

“And then it finally hit me. All the presents I just tore open, the charity, then everything– was from Bill GATES. I quickly went back to the book to see a really nice message and note from Bill wishing me a Merry Christmas and a Happy Birthday (not pictured, because I really want to keep one part of this gift to myself) my jaw hit the EVER LOVING FLOOR.”

Gotta hand it to that Bill guy. He does sound like quite a friendly fellow.

Spoiler alert: Bill Gates did not get you, because he got me. [Reddit Gifts]