Kmart To Open At 6 A.M. On Thanksgiving For Shoppers Who Hate Their Families

Just in case you hate your family so much that you can’t wait until 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving to pretend that shopping at Macy’s, JCPenney, or Sears is more important than spending the holidays with your “loved ones,” Kmart — the store you used to buy socks at before the Walmart opened in your area — has decided to open at 6 a.m. on Thanksgiving to give you shelter from nagging questions about your job, love life, hair, friends, and why you never call.

Kmart isn’t just opening early for the throngs of people who simply can’t spend a single second more talking to their Aunt Ida, don’t really care about their little brother’s opinion regarding the college football ranking system, or the rank odor of cousin Stan’s “secret recipe dry rub turkey” roasting in the oven. The store is also providing a true safe haven for family haters by staying open straight until 11 p.m. on Black Friday, just in time for you to sneak back into your parents’ house, grab your bag and claim you have to leave because there is a work emergency you need to tend to immediately.

Kmart’s step-sibling, Sears, is waiting until 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving to open and will remain open until 10 p.m. on Black Friday.

While no one is really explaining the reason that Kmart is opening 14 hours earlier than Sears, we’re assuming it’s because no one has actually shopped at Kmart since 1992 so they might as well open the doors early and see if anyone wanders in.

“Sears and Kmart have been leaders in integrated retail, delivering convenient options to create a more rewarding shopping experience for our members, while blurring the boundaries between offline and online shopping,” said a Sears Holdings Corp. exec who apparently has no idea what “leaders,” “convenient,” or “rewarding” mean.

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  1. CommonC3nts says:

    This should be illegal.
    Also it take a really evil person to go shopping on a holiday.

  2. charmander says:

    I hope the retail salespeople who work that day are getting extra pay, and are volunteering to work that day so that the workers who wish to spend time with their families on the holiday can do so.

    • OrionBFury says:

      I’ve worked on Turkey day before, to setup for Black Friday sales. To my knowledge, the extra pay we got was a federal mandate, or something like that.

  3. FitsOneHead says:

    Why would anyone shop at K-Mart on any day during the year…little alone Thanksgiving. They should give free turkey legs to the employees forced to work that day. K-Mart execs are a bunch of turkeys!

  4. StevenB says:

    I absolutely HATE the idea of companies wanting to be open on such holidays. I feel so bad for the workers. Though, it should be said that some of them would openly volunteer and if they do, then others can’t really complain. In general, it really sucks.

  5. Liberal says:

    More and more companies will likely do this because people will go shopping. I remember when there were mothers and grandmothers that would have never allowed a family to splinter on such a holiday. Families suffer a different dynamic now.

  6. crazydelirium says:

    How….random? But I must say, as a retail worker, we don’t make more money and nobody I know gets to decide if or when they work holidays. My boss tells me if/when I work. Usually may desires and wishes and family situation don’t even factor into it. The managers and higher ups always get the day off, while the grunts get to miss seeing our families. If you choose to shop on Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve or Christmas then you are forcing someone to be there to help you! Don’t pretend you are doing anyone a favor or that you are helping anyone besides the big business who are always the only places open!

    • OrionBFury says:

      Wow, your bosses suck. For me, is was voluntary signup, mandatory for the managers, and 1.5x to 2x pay. It was only in the morning, breakfast was provided, and had plenty of time to go spend the day with family.

  7. EducationalGeek says:

    This is a 24/7 society now and stores should be open accordingly. Guarantee, there will always be someone willing to work so why not be open.

    • CommonC3nts says:

      Um.. the problem is people are not willing to work but are forced to.
      No one wants to work on the holidays.

  8. nchiker says:

    I watched Grown Ups 2 recently and my wife and I laughed when it got to the Kmart scene because no Kmart actually looks that nice. They look so dingy and sad. Sort of like how Sears looks lol. They both seem to be dying very slowly. Its a wonder they are still around.

  9. petepuma03 says:

    Like many things in our nation/world, we only have ourselves to blame. If people en masse truly felt that this was a terrible thing, no one would go shopping and the stores would get the message that it isn’t worth it to be open. Alas… that isn’t going to happen.

    • Ebucel says:

      Pretty soon there will be no more national holidays where 98% of workers get a break at the same time.

      First it was Sundays, then Easter, now thanksgiving…

      Where do we start the boycott movement?

  10. mpdpop says:

    the problem with this is that often, the employees who volunteer to work often do so under duress. My army friend put it best, she’s often “voluntold” to do something…

  11. Turkey76 says:

    Like homeownership and education, now holidays are only for the rich.