Please, can we stop it with the Franken-pastries already? Just because you can splice two different baked goods and slap a cute name on it doesn’t mean any of us want to deal with yet another round of hybrid pastry mania. As if the mania over the cronut and its bajillions of spinoff pastries wasn’t enough, Starbucks has launched The Duffin in the UK, a muffin, donut hybrid and sigh, make it stop.

For those who haven’t grown weary to the bone over pastry mashups, Starbucks has rolled out the duffin in its 730 stores across the pond last week. It’s not a flash in the fryer for Starbucks either, apparently, as BusinessWeek notes that the newest menu addition is a permanent one.

The duffin has a buttermilk base, and reportedly tastes “like a moist, cakey muffin, not the coarse, bready type.” It’s got the look of a muffin but the heart of a donut with a raspberry jam filling and sugar coating.

“The Duffin follows a recent fusion trend of combining two bakery items into one hybrid,” explains Ian Cranna, vice president of marketing & category for Starbucks UK in pointing out the obvious.  “Since launching the Starbucks Duffin we have discovered that there are lots of other Duffins out there.”

One British woman takes issue with the “since” part of that — she says she’s been making duffins and calling them that at her bakery for years, reports The Telegraph. She’s mad that Starbucks also snagged the trademark on the name.

“I don’t mind if Starbucks chooses to create a version of my duffin, but don’t trademark it, which gives you the legal right to prevent anyone else using the name,” she says.

All I know is that anyone eating a cronut or duffin and talking about it in my vicinity better keep a firm grip on it or I will smack it out of your hand and laugh as it falls to the ground. Just sayin’.

Starbucks Launches Donut-Muffin, Yet Another Pastry for the Indecisive [BusinessWeek]

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