Have You Done Your International Bacon Day Shopping Yet?

This is not a joke. Ford actually has several bacon-themed graphics packages for the new Fiesta.

This is not a joke. Ford actually has several bacon-themed graphics packages for the new Fiesta.

We know that technically this upcoming holiday weekend is for Labor Day, but in our clogged heart of hearts, the better holiday this weekend is being celebrated on Saturday — International Bacon Day!

How to celebrate? By buying baconed-up foods and bacon-themed products, of course.

FOR THE BIG-SPENDER
If you’re looking for a new car but just can’t seem to find one that suitably expresses your love for pork products, Ford is feting Bacon Day with “custom bacon graphics that pork purists can have installed on their new Fiesta.”

Ford even has a graphics simulator so you can decide whether you want to spend just a couple hundred bucks on a pair of bacon strips for your hood, or several thousand for the full bacon wrap.

THE ALL-DAY BACON EXPERIENCE
While some of you may be content to enjoy a few strips of bacon tomorrow morning and say you’ve fulfilled your IBD obligation, there are those who crave a more immersive holiday experience. Over at CBS’s ManCaveDaily, they provide a guide on how to properly wrap oneself up in the International Bacon Day experience:

After breakfast, make sure to brush your teeth with some bacon toothpaste, floss with some bacon floss, and get any remaining chunks of breakfast out of your teeth using a bacon-flavored toothpick. Now’s the time to jump into a quick shower and utilize your bacon soap and bacon shampoo. Once you’re all cleaned up, throw on some clothes, slap on some bacon-flavored lip balm, spray yourself down in your favorite bacon-scented fragrance and get your day started!

THINK LONG-TERM
Sure, International Bacon Day is only a single day on the calendar, but it’s also a chance to make an impact that can last all year, if not a lifetime.

BaconToday.com has a list of 10 things to do on IBD, some of which can perpetuate the holiday spirit long past Aug. 31.

There are simple things to please oneself, like joining a bacon of the month club, which is something that exists but about which the world had neglected to inform me until now.

You could also make some bacon-infused bourbon, which will hopefully last you longer than one single day.

Then there is the generous gesture of reaching across the aisle to friends and loved ones who don’t eat meat, not to convince them to give up their beliefs, but to introduce them to the array of bacon-like products that contain absolutely no bacon or other meat products.

EXPERIENCE SOME UPSCALE BACON
For those who think bacon is simply a breakfast side dish or something to garnish the occasional cheeseburger, they should look at the menus of the fancy restaurants in their area. They will inevitably find bacon in all manner of forms.

Readers in the Houston area should check out Chron.com’s slideshow of 29 Ways to Eat Bacon in Houston. This is no standard diner fare.

However, one chooses to celebrate the holiday, remember to stay hydrated, lest you end up feeling like a piece of bacon on Sunday morning.