Whoever you are out there that’s responsible for harming an innocent store clerk in your dastardly quest to steal two signs featuring David Hasselhoff, we hope you feel the weight of your deep, deep shame. Cardboard representations of the Knight Rider and Baywatch star and late-night cheeseburger eater are not worth hurting anyone over.

Connecticut police say the convenience store clerk at the heart of the attempted heist was critically injured in his effort to stop the theft of two signs with Hasselhoff’s image on them.

According to the Associated Press, the 36-year-old clerk was working early in the wee hours of Tuesday when he saw a man shoving the signs into an SUV. He apparently tried to get in the car’s way to stop the theft and was struck and dragged by the vehicle. He landed on his head, and ended up hospitalized in critical condition.

The police are searching for suspects, so keep an eye out for anyone showing up with The Hoff signs out of the blue: The signs feature the actor shilling iced coffee, and already 500 of the signs have been lifted from stores across the country in recent months.

Conn. clerk injured in David Hasselhoff sign theft [Associated Press]

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