It’s not that David expected earth-shattering things from a 1-800-Flowers gift basket. He didn’t expect it to look exactly like the photo at left, especially since he ordered a smaller size. He was expecting something that didn’t look like your what lazy bachelor(ette) friend who can’t cook dredged up in the back of their kitchen cabinets to bring to your Super Bowl Party.

He wanted to say thanks to his co-workers who helped out and covered for him while he welcomed his new daughter. The $99 version of this basket was appealing: snacks for everyone, and relatively healthy ones. In theory. Here’s the letter he sent to 1-800-Flowers customer service.

Dear 1-800 Flowers –

I ordered the $99 Deluxe Fruit and Gourmet basket for my office because I was out for a few days following the birth of my daughter and thought it would be a nice gesture as they had to cover for me. Certainly, the description sounded enticing – “hand-packaged basket of fresh fruit and delicious gourmet snacks, including such delicacies as grapefruit, apples, pears, cookies, crackers, sausage, cheese and more, accented with fresh poms.”

Imagine my surprise when I got to work today and saw the basket. Allow me to describe it, so that you can update the description on your website:

“a hand-packaged basket of disappointment and embarrassment is in store for that special someone when they receive this sad jumble of a few bruised pieces of fruit, a tube of Ritz crackers (or, at least, I’m guessing that they’re Ritz since they aren’t labeled having obviously come out of a larger box), a sleeve of Town House Saltines, beef jerky, Cheese Nip crackers, and other common supermarket fare. Gourmet by third-world standards, this basket is sure to make you apologize to your friends on our behalf.”

Really. You should be ashamed. You ripped me off. There was nothing remotely nice or special about this basket. It was full of crackers from the supermarket cracker aisle and looked NOTHING like the picture. I already had one problem with your company a few weeks ago but decided against my better judgement to give you another chance. You failed again. I won’t make the same mistake again.

Please do not send me a gift certificate for my trouble. I won’t use it. I would have used the one you promised the last time I had a problem, only you never actually sent it.

He didn’t get an answer from the company, and to our surprise, they haven’t updated the website with the excellent new copy he provided them with, either. What’s with that?

We passed his corrections on to our contacts at 1-800-Flowers, and will let you know what they have to say.

Update: In the interim, the company got back to him. Here’s an update:

They did contact me and after some wrangling I was able to get a full
refund. I told them that they should probably not work with that vendor
anymore. Today the florist who fulfilled the order came by to pick up
the basket and chided my co-workers for opening the basket telling them
“next time, do not eat”. Thanks for your help. It seems that, as crappy
as their product is, 1-800 Flowers will give a refund if you demand it
(or, as in my case, threaten to contact the Better Business Bureau)
Thanks for warning your readers.

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