Men Claim Those Are Not Slender Lorises In Their Pants, They're Just Happy To See Airport Security

It must be tricky to be a loris. On one hand, you’re an impossibly cute primate. On the other, people might want to put you down their pants to smuggle you through the airport. Three men were arrested at Indira Ghandi International Airport in Delhi, India for trying to sneak slender lorises from Bangkok to Dubai. Two of the men had the little guys concealed in pouches in their underwear.

According to a customs official, the animals’ health was “OK, but deteriorating” after surviving their ordeal in close quarters and are recovering at an animal hospital.

Security guards were on bulge alert reports the BBC, and noticed something was awry during a frisk at security. If this situation was in a sitcom, that would’ve been the ideal time for the two men who had secured the lorises in their pants that they really were just happy to see the guards and weren’t trying to illegally smuggle the tiny primates anywhere.

The slender loris population in places like Indonesia has been decimated as consumers value the big-eyed exotic animals as adorable pets. Because the slender loris has a toxic bite, poachers reportedly are known to pull out their teeth with pliers, which ruins their chance of ever returning to the wild.

All three men involved in the loris plot have been arrested and an investigation is underwear. Err, under way.

Men arrested hiding loris in underwear at Delhi airport [BBC]

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  1. KyBash says:

    Before doing that, I’d want absolute proof they don’t eat bananas!

  2. nbs2 says:

    The lorises were happy to see the guards and were smuggling other lorises?

  3. HogwartsProfessor says:

    Poor little lorises.

  4. tungstencoil says:

    True story:

    When the infamous scanners were still in trial in a few airports, I went through one. Got flagged to get the aggressive pat-down anyway. During said pat-down, the TSA agent asked, “What’s that”, to which I had to reply, “Um, my penis…”

    Of course, I said it very loudly, and he was quite chagrined.

  5. Bob A Dobalina says:

    The bigger issue here is their animal abuse

    Take the lorises (lori?) and let the men get on the flight. But only fly them halfway