Duo Tries To Scare Pizza Delivery Man Into Giving Up Free Food With Help Of Of Baseball Bat

We’ve seen hungry people resort to drastic measures in order to eat their fill, but planning to scare the delivery man into giving up free food with a baseball bat? That’s a bad plan. And an illegal, mean one. Cops say two women came up with a harebrained scheme involving intimidation and a weapon in the name of two large pizzas, 14 chicken wings and an apple pie.

The Smoking Gun has the goods on the story of two Florida women who are now facing felony charges over their plan to scare up some grub.

With rumblies in their tumblies but dust in their wallets, the two 19-year-old women “planned on scaring the pizza delivery man into leaving prior to them paying.” One woman donned all black clothing and a mask, and grabbed a baseball bat from a neighbor’s yard.

Meanwhile, the other woman greeted the Pizza Hut delivery man and told him to put the food down inside while she looked for more cash, since she only had $12 in her hand. That’s when the other woman jumped out of her spot like a ninja and approached the man from behind.

She claims she meant to just swing the bat and scare him, but “accidentally” hit him in the side. He says he was hit in the head and the arm, before he grabbed the bat and threw it in the yard.

Not to be one to leave without cash, he returned to the home and “asked the original customer if she was going to pay for the food.” When the woman said she was calling the cops, the delivery man did it for her and dialed 911.

The two women hid in some woods until sunrise, before returning home to eat the food. They were eventually arrested, and cops say they “laughed profusely” about their plan. One of the women said she was going to rob a McDonald’s with her cohort when they got out of jail.

Turns out, this whole scenario was a repeat of an earlier attempt by the women to scare a delivery man — they tried their plan a month before with the exact same delivery man. After more thought, he says, he remembered a suspicious incident, where the women ended up paying him.

There’s no scaring off this guy. Good employee you’ve got there, Pizza Hut.

Hungry, Dopey Duo Arrested For Pizza Hut Plot [The Smoking Gun]

Comments

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  1. ZenListener says:

    Those apple pies are the bomb.

  2. jacobs cows says:

    Would be alot easier if they had jobs and would pay for their food.

    • who? says:

      I’m pretty sure that these two are disconnected enough from reality that even if they could get jobs, they wouldn’t keep them for long.

  3. May contain snark says:

    Jacobs, who has used the alias “Shaccariana Jackson,”

    Lol.

  4. crispyduck13 says:

    The most interesting part of this story is that there are Pizza Huts that sell apple pie.

  5. Blueskylaw says:

    Heatstroke from the Florida sun will make you do funny things.

  6. KishuT says:

    i think you forgot a word in the title….. “Duo Tries Scare Pizza Delivery Man Into Giving Up Free Food By Way Of Baseball Bat” ??!??

  7. Blue387 says:

    Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

  8. Schildkrote says:

    Cool, a missing word in the headline this time.

    Senior Editor!

    • KishuT says:

      It’s MB writing the article, nuff said…

      • Maltboy wanders aimlessly through the Uncanny Valley says:

        Maybe she’s intentionally stashing words to use in an upcoming Scott Walker hit piece. She’s probably betting no one will notice if she takes just one or two from each article.

  9. axolotl says:

    “With rumblies in their tumblies but dust in their wallets…”
    LOL
    Awesome

  10. axolotl says:

    “The two women hid in some woods until sunrise…”
    I’m seeing a theme here.
    1) Attempt a crime and muck it up
    2) Hide in the woods until morning
    3) Come home and get caught

  11. blogger X says:

    Hiding in the woods seem to be all the rage nowadays.

  12. RandomLetters says:

    Little known fact, but before he moved to Metropolis to become an award winning reporter Clark Kent delivered pizzas.

  13. dosdelon says:

    Give that guy a raise!

  14. There's room to move as a fry cook says:

    Can’t decide if a 5 foot tall 200 pound female ninja is scary or hilarious.

  15. deadandy says:

    Copyediting is so last century.

  16. bhr says:

    Poor editing, spelling, ect. aside, I love the tag on this story.

  17. lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

    I hope they’re tried and convicted of whatever charges the DA can throw at them. They’re absolute scum – trying to steal pizza from someone who’s actually working for a living. It’s obvious from the booking photos they’re not starving to death. If they have so much time on their hands, they can make their own damned pizza, like I do!

    I hope they get sentenced to community service, like push mowing all summer in the Florida heat.

    • JollyJumjuck says:

      I guarantee that whatever their sentence, it would be far lighter than if two men had done the same thing to a female driver.

      • lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

        Sadly, you’re probably right. I get so tired of seeing news stories like this, that basically boil down to “I’m gonna take this from you ’cause I don’t want to work for it, and you have it, so there you are”.

  18. Bionic Data Drop says:

    Too bad the driver doesn’t work for Safeway or he would be suspended and possibly fired for intervening when he was being hit with a baseball bat (until the company is publically shamed).

  19. Lucky225 says:

    Can we really expect anything more out of florida? Man eating face LSD induced zombies, people shooting ‘sketchy’ black men, pizza delivery scams, what next Florida? Hanging chads at the RNC?

  20. Stilor says:

    He’s probably fired by now, over some “zero-tolerance policy against violence” by PizzaHut.

  21. Budala says:

    Strange that the race of the women is not mentioned anywhere in the consumerist post.

    • tbax929 says:

      Strange that you felt it necessary to mention race in four different posts. I think we get it.

    • Conformist138 says:

      Is it safe to assume that if they were white women you wouldn’t be so eager to point out race?

  22. Budala says:

    Strange that the race of the women is not mentioned anywhere in the consumerist post.

  23. Budala says:

    Strange that the race of the women is not mentioned anywhere in the consumerist post.

  24. Budala says:

    Strange that the race of the women is not mentioned anywhere in the consumerist post.

  25. lovemypets00 - You'll need to forgive me, my social filter has cracked. says:

    There’s no need to mention race. Stupidity is an equal opportunity affliction, and afflicts all races, sexes, creeds, ages, etc.

  26. LI_Mom says:

    What the heck is wrong with the people in the state of Florida?

    The inmates are running the asylum. What a bunch of degenerates & losers.

  27. caj111 says:

    I think I found one of the womens’ Facebook pages. The facts in the Smoking Gun and the information on the Facebook page seem to match up. I hope the child featured on the page is not hers, because you know a child’s future doesn’t look too bright if their mother isn’t even good at committing crimes, never mind legally permitted activities.

  28. caj111 says:

    Also… one of them had no money for the pizza, but somehow came up with $1500 for bail. That makes a lot of sense.

  29. StarKillerX says:

    She’s lucky he didn’t take the bat away from her and beat the shit out of her with it.

  30. dolemite says:

    “Good employee you’ve got there, Pizza Hut.” Actually, he was fired the next day for grabbing the bat they were beating him with. Corporate policy states to simply lie on the ground and be beaten to death.

  31. markvii says:

    Good thing he wasn’t packing — these sorts of attacks are what the FL “stand your ground” law is all about.

    • aaron8301 says:

      That was my first thought. You hit me with a baseball bat, I’ll hit you with a hollow point or two.

  32. Duke of URL says:

    And just what does this crime report have to do with consumer issues?

  33. RenegadePlatypus says:

    I suppose Mary Beth was so delighted with herself using “rumblies in tumblies” she had to use it in two different stories yesterday to describe motivation for food crime. I have the feeling people who know her hear her inject it into conversations over and over. Like that shirt you wear so often because *just maybe* there is still someone who hasn’t seen you in it…. Pure speculation of course.

  34. skrolnik says:

    The Deliverator belongs to an elite order, a hallowed subcategory. He’s got esprit up to here. Right now, he is preparing to carry out his third mission of the night. His uniform is black as activated charcoal, filtering the very light out of the air. A bullet will bounce off its arachnofiber weave like a wren hitting a patio door, but excess perspiration wafts through it like a breeze through a freshly napalmed forest. Where his body has bony extremities, the suit has sintered armorgel: feels like a gritty jello, protects like a stack of telephone books.

    When they gave him the job, they gave him a gun. The Deliverator never deals in cash, but someone might come after him anyway – might want his car, or his cargo. The gun is tiny, aerostyled, lightweight, the kind of gun a fashion designer would carry; it fires teensy darts that fly five times the velocity of an SR-71 spy plane, and when you get done using it, you have to plug it into the cigarette lighter, because it runs on electricity.

    The Deliverator never pulled his gun in anger, or in fear. He pulled it once in Gila Highlands. Some punks in Gila Highlands, a fancy Burbclave, wanted themselves a delivery, and they didn’t want to pay for it. Thought they would impress the Deliverator with a baseball hat. The Deliverator took out his gun, centered its laser doohickey on that poised Louisville Slugger, fired it. The recoil was immense, as though the weapon had blown up in his hand. The middle third of the baseball bat turned in to a column of burning sawdust accelerating in all directions like a bursting star. Punk ended up holding this bat handle with milky smoke pouring out the end. Stupid look on his face. Didn’t get nothing but trouble from Deliverator.

    Since then Deliverator has kept the gun in glove compartment and relied, instead, on a matched set of samurai swords, which have always been his weapon of choice anyhow. The punks in Gila Highlands weren’t afraid of the gun, so the Deliverator was forced to use it. But swords need no demonstration.