Is it a man or a robot? A robot impersonating a man? A man impersonating a robot? Such are the questions that flitted through bobbymac’s head as he engaged in text-based dialogue with a Comcast customer service rep.
He was contacting Comcast because his cable tv had been out for 3 months. It was working fine until they made him upgrade and rent a digital conversion box, which both cost more and didn’t work. Now he was involved in a typically annoying conversation full of cut and pasted conversation. The transcript is an amusing read. Bobbymac manages to be both completely pissed off and super polite at the same time. A selection:
Robert: I will repeat my question:
Robert: Does the problem I describe sound familiar to you?
Robert: Here is the problem, which I also will repeat:
Robert: I have cable TV and Internet service. Internet is flawless. Cable TV has not worked for three months. It tells me that every channel I select “will be available momentarily.” Sometimes, the channel flickers in for 30 seconds or less.
WilburCCBV: The “will be available momentarily” is a common problem for cable service.
Robert: The problem began only after Comcast forced me to rent a digital converter box and raised the price of my monthly bill. Now I pay more for service that does not work, and by your account is a common problem. That is bad for business, but good for Comcast investors.
Robert: Having said that, my account number is:
Robert: xxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx
WilburCCBV: Thank you for the information.
WilburCCBV: Allow me to pull up your account.
WilburCCBV: Did you know you can watch many of your favorite TV shows and movies online at no additional cost with Comcast. Check out http://www.xfinitytv.com to watch the latest TV shows, relive a favorite television moment, or just relax with a movie.
WilburCCBV: May I know the full name of the account holder?
Robert: Robert xxxxxxxxx
WilburCCBV: Thank you.
Robert: I am dismayed by the fact that you are making me read advertising messages in this conversation when I am dissatisfied with your service. Tell Brian Roberts that I don’t like that.
WilburCCBV: Robert, are you getting the same message in every channels?
Robert: yes, every channel
WilburCCBV: Can you please unplug the cable box from the power outlet for 30 seconds and plug it back again to refresh your connection.
Robert: Are you human?
WilburCCBV: Yes, Robert.
Robert: It is difficult to ascertain this.
I agree. It’s pretty gauche to advertise costlier services in the middle of a conversation with a customer who isn’t even happy with his current service.
My frustrating Comcast customer service chat [bobbymacReports] (Thanks to Chris!)