Feds Nab Satellite-Smuggling Microsoft Contractor

Someone forgot to pay attention to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, which teaches that giving Slugworth an everlasting gobstopper will lead directly to ruin. In a sting operation, the FBI arrested an alleged satellite smuggler who did contract work for Microsoft.

The Associated Press reports the man tried to recruit others to help him export 300 semiconductor devices to China. The “radiation-hardened” devices are illegal to export without the approval of the State Department. It turns out the accused was dealing with undercover agents who offered to pay him $620,000 for the delectable goodies.

This means no lifelong supply of chocolate for the would-be smuggler, and definitely no Kinect under his Christmas tree.

Lian Yang, Microsoft-Contracted Engineer, Arrested in Smuggling Plot After Another FBI Sting in Portland [AP via Seattle Weekly]

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  1. Mr. Fix-It says: "Canadian Bacon is best bacon!" says:

    I was gonna ask “How does one man smuggle an entire satellite?” but evidently, the title is not literal, but figurative. ._.

  2. Cheap Sniveler: Sponsored by JustAnswer.comâ„¢ says:

    I’ve said this ever since “Tricky Dick” visited China:
    The Chinese are NOT our friends.

    • ParingKnife ("That's a kniwfe.") says:

      Like we’re theirs. And like our friends never pull this shit.

      • Cheap Sniveler: Sponsored by JustAnswer.comâ„¢ says:

        We are not their friends. We are their servants.

        Let us now bow to our Chinese overlords an give thanks for not smiting us, with the money we foolishly gave them.

        • ParingKnife ("That's a kniwfe.") says:

          You mean the money that they *bought* and can’t actually use to hurt us without hurting themselves. Never mind that our economy still dwarfs theirs- whatever paranoid ramblings you choose to believe the numbers don’t lie.

    • mac-phisto says:

      that’s an incredibly narrow world view you have there.

  3. mac-phisto says:

    entrapment much?

  4. TacomaRogue says:

    Does “up to five years in prison” seem shockingly low to anyone else? I’d hope for at least 10.

  5. Excuse My Ambition Deficit Disorder says:

    Not to be a total nub, but if these parts are needed to build satellites and then how in the hell did they get any satellites made. Seems a bit odd to me, but then again I’m not a satellite expert.

    • Mr. Fix-It says: "Canadian Bacon is best bacon!" says:

      “C’mon guys, this isn’t rocket science! Er, wait… hang on a second.”

  6. davidsco says:

    Cancel or Allow

  7. r2w7 says:

    The actual story has nothing to do with Microsoft except the guy contracted with them; including “Microsoft” in the header is clearly for clicks. Phil’s also baited the link to the Seattle Weekly article (which doesn’t mention Microsoft in its title or body).

    • hackel says:

      I agree, however it is interesting to get this kind of insight into the type of characters Microsoft needs to hire who have no moral issues with the company nor its shitty products…