Sidling up to a deli counter and stuffing a 12-pound turkey breast down his elastic-waisted sweatpants must have seemed like a good idea at one point. So a Brooklyn teen gave it a try. However, the nature of elastic and the laws of physics intervened, and he ditched the turkey in the street after waddling out of the store.
The New York Post reports that this criminal mastermind wasn’t just noticed by store employees and fellow shoppers: his poultry heist was caught on surveillance tape.
The 12-pound turkey breast went back on the shelf. It was worth about $82.
Thief stuffs turkey down pants [NY Post]
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Derek Smalls has got nothing on him
Step over here, please … raise your arms … do you have any artificial plates or limbs?
We’ve got armadillos in our trousers
Later, he’ll score with an underaged, bra-stuffing chick on the 50 yard line of the football field.
+10 for ‘Animal House’ ref.
That turkey won’t need much seasoning or brining…..
Just sayin…
It went back on the shelf? I hope it was at least discounted…
Ew!? Back on the shelf? Granted it was most likely wrapped – but seriously?
I hope they at least changed the wrapping.
Do you have any idea what kind of steps your (fully wrapped) turkeys go through before they get to the shelf?
This kid touching it and dropping it on the street is NOTHING compared to the kind of handling your food normally goes through before it gets to you. Relax. It’s pre-packaged at the factory.
But it went in his pants.
Dude – it TOUCHED his JUNK! That’s *NASTY*
I gotta agree with you there. Nasty.
Planing on eating the plastic are you?
Agreed!! If they are willing to put food products that have literally been down someones pants back on the shelf. I think some food inspectors should check out what else they are willing to do to save a buck.
Nothing suspicious about 4 teenagers staring at the meat section for 15 minutes…nosiree.
The comments on that story make me weep for humanity.
What makes me weep is that the idea that these guys thought they could heist a turkey in their pants. This idea was not well thought out.
The comments here are just an “after the fact” reality.
My thought is he could have held up a liquor store for booze or cigarettes, but he stealing food. At what point of low do you have to go before a person starts to feel for another person. Albeit it didn’t look like he missed to many meals, but he also wasn’t trying to steal the entire shelf of meat. It suggests to me that maybe desperate times called for desperate measures. If I was the store manager I think I would have totally looked the other way. Beer, cigarettes, radio, computer, etc, call the law, but food? And since when is a turkey breast worth 82$.
If he was really hungry, he’d go for something easier to steal.
A 12 lb turkey breast was worth $82!!!! Was it made out of gold?
I was just wondering that. WTF
I live in Chicago and that’s about right for the price. I was grocery shopping last night and turkey breast was $3.99 for 1/2 pound.
Turkey breast at the deli counter often costs around $6/lb on sale for me (often $9/lb when not on sale).
This isn’t a frozen, uncooked turkey – it’s deli turkey breast.
You’re probably thinking of an actual Turkey (either fresh or frozen) but in this case it was deli meat… Turkey breast depending on the brand (disregarding sales) is anywhere from $5-8 dollars a pound.
Wait – $82 for turkey?
Bulk service case pieces are expensive and quite valuable, as long as they are of a decent quality. $7.25/lb, I would say is a pretty average price for normal oven roasted turkey breast.
Bullshit alert! That’s $6.83 per pound. Was the turkey gold plated?
Yeah, I was gonna’ say, the only 2 places in Brooklyn that I know of you’re getting turkey for that price is either the Union Market or Fairway. He definitely wasn’t shop(lift)ing there.
Right this moment convenient food mart has Sara Lee Honey Turkey Breast for $5.99 a pound.
http://convenient.com/
Not so outrageous.
That’s for sliced deli meat. I’m not saying it’s not possible, but I’ve never seen unsliced deli packages available to anybody not behind the counter.
OK, I’ll RTFA myself. I can’t watch video right now and didn’t realize there was a text article also. Weird that a store would have that type of turkey out in the open.
It’s not out in the open. If you watch the video you’ll see that the guy actually opens the display case at the deli counter and takes a whole turkey breast out.
It wasn’t out in the open. If you notice in the video, he lifts the glass deli display case and pulls out the uncut, vacuum-packed breast. Most deli cases open from the front for easy display arrangment. Also, many delis place the whole package in the front for display and have presliced meats right behind it.
Sure they are. Many of those display cases also open from the front for easy cleaning.
Naw… still gotta call bullshit. I can get a turkey breast (10-15 lb) out of the freezer at the local store for $1.99/lb. Whole Turkeys around Thanksgiving can be had for as little as $0.49/lb.
reading comprehension fail.
It was deli turkey breast…not uncooked frozen turkey. I’m not sure where you could go to get deli turkey breast for less than $6/lb (maybe $4 or $5/lb if it’s a great sale)
It’s cooked, ready to put on sandwiches (mmm…a little mustard, whole grain bread…kind of makes me hungry for lunch).
go to your deli and buy sliced turkey, in all likelyhood it will cost more then 6.99 a pound and is probably closer to 8 or 9 a lb. This wasnt a frozen turkey it was a deli turkey for slicing for lunch meat.
How dare you stare! It is a unsightly tumor…what their not buying that. Running away now.
Where the heck does turkey breast cost almost $7/lb? For that price, you might as well buy rib-eye steak. It’s more like $3/lb where I shop.
Right this moment convenient food mart has Sara Lee Honey Turkey Breast for $5.99 a pound.
http://convenient.com/
Not so outrageous.
Double check your local grocery store… are you sure it isn’t $3 for a 1/2 lb??
“The puzzle is: People who annoy you.”
I am guessing that his homies are getting the fixin’s and potatoes too?
must…not…feed…the…troll
…or are you happy to see me?
Is that a turkey in your pants, or are you just….shoplifting?
But seriously…if he wants a turkey that bad, aren’t there churches and other organizations that give away food like that for the holidays (to those in need anyway…) But maybe I shouldn’t assume those who steal food are in need of it though.
If you read the NYPost article and see the photo, it is a deli-pack turkey, which would run $82. It’s not a Thanksgiving turkey.
Gobble gobble…..
Was he trying to impress his mate or what?
not sure I want turkey breast stored in somebody’s pants, regardless of the length of time it was there.
I though breasts stuffed into pants was only an old woman disease. It has now spread to young men. There should be a PSA for this condition.
Didn’t Larry do the same thing in “Animal House?” And $82 for a turkey…shit, they must have been in Fairway or Whole Foods for that kind of dough.
I think Babs Johnson taught him her trick about warming up meat in his own little oven.
I wouldn’t want to buy a turkey that had previously resided down some hooligan’s pants. Ick.
That’s right, I called him a hooligan. You kids get off my lawn.
Please, such an amatuer. When I worked for wal-mart we watched an LP video where some 350lb woman walked….waddled in wearing a mumu. Walked over to the deli hams, pulled up the mumu, where she was wearing SPIKES in her leg. Slapped a few hams on each, lowered the mumu, and waddled her way back out of the store, no-one the wiser. I asked what the deal was with it, and was told that most times, they take those out and sell them to bars on the cheap. Remember that the next time you order bar food.
This story isn’t quite as funny as a similar incident in Indianapolis back in the 1980s…
The principal of Arlington High School was arrested at the Kroger in Devington Plaza (a block away from the school) for shoplifting. He had shoved a large canned ham in the front of his pants and attempted to exit the store when caught.
Bob and Tom (the shock jock morning team at Q-95 in Indy) had a field day with this. “Excuse me, is that a 5 pound canned ham in your pants or are you just happy to see me?” was just the tip of the iceberg.
dumbarse criminal of the week, hands down !