Teen Steals 12-Pound Turkey Breast By Stuffing It Down His Pants

Sidling up to a deli counter and stuffing a 12-pound turkey breast down his elastic-waisted sweatpants must have seemed like a good idea at one point. So a Brooklyn teen gave it a try. However, the nature of elastic and the laws of physics intervened, and he ditched the turkey in the street after waddling out of the store.

The New York Post reports that this criminal mastermind wasn’t just noticed by store employees and fellow shoppers: his poultry heist was caught on surveillance tape.

The 12-pound turkey breast went back on the shelf. It was worth about $82.

Thief stuffs turkey down pants [NY Post]

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  1. Captain Walker says:

    Derek Smalls has got nothing on him

  2. rpm773 says:

    Later, he’ll score with an underaged, bra-stuffing chick on the 50 yard line of the football field.

  3. Eat The Rich -They are fat and succulent says:

    That turkey won’t need much seasoning or brining…..

    Just sayin…

  4. Supes says:

    It went back on the shelf? I hope it was at least discounted…

  5. Oranges w/ Cheese says:

    Ew!? Back on the shelf? Granted it was most likely wrapped – but seriously?

    • pecan 3.14159265 says:

      I hope they at least changed the wrapping.

    • chefboyardee says:

      Do you have any idea what kind of steps your (fully wrapped) turkeys go through before they get to the shelf?

      This kid touching it and dropping it on the street is NOTHING compared to the kind of handling your food normally goes through before it gets to you. Relax. It’s pre-packaged at the factory.

    • JoJack82 says:

      Agreed!! If they are willing to put food products that have literally been down someones pants back on the shelf. I think some food inspectors should check out what else they are willing to do to save a buck.

  6. dolemite says:

    Nothing suspicious about 4 teenagers staring at the meat section for 15 minutes…nosiree.

  7. Nighthawk Foo says:

    The comments on that story make me weep for humanity.

    • Clyde Barrow says:

      What makes me weep is that the idea that these guys thought they could heist a turkey in their pants. This idea was not well thought out.

      The comments here are just an “after the fact” reality.

      • Trencher says:

        My thought is he could have held up a liquor store for booze or cigarettes, but he stealing food. At what point of low do you have to go before a person starts to feel for another person. Albeit it didn’t look like he missed to many meals, but he also wasn’t trying to steal the entire shelf of meat. It suggests to me that maybe desperate times called for desperate measures. If I was the store manager I think I would have totally looked the other way. Beer, cigarettes, radio, computer, etc, call the law, but food? And since when is a turkey breast worth 82$.

  8. kt says:

    A 12 lb turkey breast was worth $82!!!! Was it made out of gold?

    • wjstone says:

      I was just wondering that. WTF

    • Gramin says:

      I live in Chicago and that’s about right for the price. I was grocery shopping last night and turkey breast was $3.99 for 1/2 pound.

    • longdvsn says:

      Turkey breast at the deli counter often costs around $6/lb on sale for me (often $9/lb when not on sale).

      This isn’t a frozen, uncooked turkey – it’s deli turkey breast.

    • privax says:

      You’re probably thinking of an actual Turkey (either fresh or frozen) but in this case it was deli meat… Turkey breast depending on the brand (disregarding sales) is anywhere from $5-8 dollars a pound.

  9. zigziggityzoo says:

    Wait – $82 for turkey?

    • rayblasdel says:

      Bulk service case pieces are expensive and quite valuable, as long as they are of a decent quality. $7.25/lb, I would say is a pretty average price for normal oven roasted turkey breast.

  10. guymandude says:

    Bullshit alert! That’s $6.83 per pound. Was the turkey gold plated?

    • XxSuntoucherxX says:

      Yeah, I was gonna’ say, the only 2 places in Brooklyn that I know of you’re getting turkey for that price is either the Union Market or Fairway. He definitely wasn’t shop(lift)ing there.

      • HalOfBorg says:

        Right this moment convenient food mart has Sara Lee Honey Turkey Breast for $5.99 a pound.

        http://convenient.com/

        Not so outrageous.

        • larrymac thinks testing should have occurred says:

          That’s for sliced deli meat. I’m not saying it’s not possible, but I’ve never seen unsliced deli packages available to anybody not behind the counter.

          • larrymac thinks testing should have occurred says:

            OK, I’ll RTFA myself. I can’t watch video right now and didn’t realize there was a text article also. Weird that a store would have that type of turkey out in the open.

            • ycnhgm says:

              It’s not out in the open. If you watch the video you’ll see that the guy actually opens the display case at the deli counter and takes a whole turkey breast out.

            • esp13 has a pony named Steve says:

              It wasn’t out in the open. If you notice in the video, he lifts the glass deli display case and pulls out the uncut, vacuum-packed breast. Most deli cases open from the front for easy display arrangment. Also, many delis place the whole package in the front for display and have presliced meats right behind it.

          • Me - now with more humidity says:

            Sure they are. Many of those display cases also open from the front for easy cleaning.

        • guymandude says:

          Naw… still gotta call bullshit. I can get a turkey breast (10-15 lb) out of the freezer at the local store for $1.99/lb. Whole Turkeys around Thanksgiving can be had for as little as $0.49/lb.

          • longdvsn says:

            reading comprehension fail.

            It was deli turkey breast…not uncooked frozen turkey. I’m not sure where you could go to get deli turkey breast for less than $6/lb (maybe $4 or $5/lb if it’s a great sale)

            It’s cooked, ready to put on sandwiches (mmm…a little mustard, whole grain bread…kind of makes me hungry for lunch).

    • TheGreySpectre says:

      go to your deli and buy sliced turkey, in all likelyhood it will cost more then 6.99 a pound and is probably closer to 8 or 9 a lb. This wasnt a frozen turkey it was a deli turkey for slicing for lunch meat.

  11. Hungry Dog says:

    How dare you stare! It is a unsightly tumor…what their not buying that. Running away now.

  12. ahecht says:

    Where the heck does turkey breast cost almost $7/lb? For that price, you might as well buy rib-eye steak. It’s more like $3/lb where I shop.

  13. stock2mal says:

    “The puzzle is: People who annoy you.”

  14. Clyde Barrow says:

    I am guessing that his homies are getting the fixin’s and potatoes too?

  15. Me - now with more humidity says:

    …or are you happy to see me?

  16. EmanNeercs says:

    Is that a turkey in your pants, or are you just….shoplifting?

    But seriously…if he wants a turkey that bad, aren’t there churches and other organizations that give away food like that for the holidays (to those in need anyway…) But maybe I shouldn’t assume those who steal food are in need of it though.

  17. Me - now with more humidity says:

    If you read the NYPost article and see the photo, it is a deli-pack turkey, which would run $82. It’s not a Thanksgiving turkey.

  18. Nighthawke says:

    Gobble gobble…..

    Was he trying to impress his mate or what?

  19. SPOON - now with Forkin attitude says:

    not sure I want turkey breast stored in somebody’s pants, regardless of the length of time it was there.

  20. Keep talking...I'm listening says:

    I though breasts stuffed into pants was only an old woman disease. It has now spread to young men. There should be a PSA for this condition.

  21. AllanG54 says:

    Didn’t Larry do the same thing in “Animal House?” And $82 for a turkey…shit, they must have been in Fairway or Whole Foods for that kind of dough.

  22. Bye says:

    I think Babs Johnson taught him her trick about warming up meat in his own little oven.

  23. travel_nut says:

    I wouldn’t want to buy a turkey that had previously resided down some hooligan’s pants. Ick.

    That’s right, I called him a hooligan. You kids get off my lawn.

  24. JayPhat says:

    Please, such an amatuer. When I worked for wal-mart we watched an LP video where some 350lb woman walked….waddled in wearing a mumu. Walked over to the deli hams, pulled up the mumu, where she was wearing SPIKES in her leg. Slapped a few hams on each, lowered the mumu, and waddled her way back out of the store, no-one the wiser. I asked what the deal was with it, and was told that most times, they take those out and sell them to bars on the cheap. Remember that the next time you order bar food.

  25. gman863 says:

    This story isn’t quite as funny as a similar incident in Indianapolis back in the 1980s…

    The principal of Arlington High School was arrested at the Kroger in Devington Plaza (a block away from the school) for shoplifting. He had shoved a large canned ham in the front of his pants and attempted to exit the store when caught.

    Bob and Tom (the shock jock morning team at Q-95 in Indy) had a field day with this. “Excuse me, is that a 5 pound canned ham in your pants or are you just happy to see me?” was just the tip of the iceberg.

  26. sopmodm14 says:

    dumbarse criminal of the week, hands down !