We are super-duper late in mailing out Comcast’s Worst Company In America trophy so we decided to spice it up with a disco lightshow for the award and a nice congratulatory letter.
Congratulations on winning the coveted Consumerist.com reader-awarded Worst Company in America prize. Mazel tov! (We apologize for the delay in sending this letter. We know how frustrating it can be to wait around for something that never shows up.)
Your consistent dedication to providing low-quality service at ever-rising prices, and aversion to upholding basic internet principles while also buying off Washington and lobbying against net neutrality has earned you a place in our hallowed pantheon. Kudos!
After several years of making it to the final rounds only to be squeezed out at the last minute, in 2010 you leapt ahead to clinch the brass ring, represented herein as the Golden Poo. We hope that it may find a place as special as the one reserved in our hearts for you. Perhaps on a mantel over a perpetually burning fireplace, or next to the Newton’s cradle on Brian’s desk.
On behalf of the entire staff at and readers of The Consumerist, I salute you.
P.S. Why’d you get rid of that Frank guy? He was great.
All ready to go. Next stop, post office!