Note: This memo is a parodic spoof.

You know when you leave a fast-food restaurant, look in your bag, and notice that something small is missing? Like, one of your drinks, or an apple pie? Maybe that’s not the result of error. Maybe your local McDonald’s is the center of a criminal conspiracy.

Earlier today, Buzzfeed posted this purported memo from the managing director of McDonald’s Australia, which specifically instructs an underling to intentionally leave items out of customers’ orders in order to …save money? Is it actually plausible that someone could be this stupid?

We need to discuss the drive through orders as well. If the girls leave one item out of every second or third order, this adds up to several thousand dollars per week revenue. On smaller orders if they leave out the hot apple pie or fires [sic] and larger orders just 1 burger from every third order this totals around $2,118.00 per day. We need to work out if there is a way of making this a procedure without making it documented.

This one’s obvious: just be sure to hire very, very stupid employees. They’ll forget stuff all the time! Problem solved, and I don’t even have an MBA! Someone give me a bonus. Or just an apple pie.

Robert Trugabe is a Crook [Buzzfeed]

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.