Highlights From The Consumerist's Junk Mail Folder

One of the (dis)advantages of having your e-mail address posted on the open interweb is spam, spam, spam, and more spam. This does, however, mean that some very entertaining messages slip through our filters over at tips@consumerist.com, and we’d be remiss in not sharing them.

Good Day,

My name is Jim White, a member of the U.S. ARMY 3rd Infantry Division in
Iraq. I would like to share some highly classified information about my personal experience and the role which I played in the pursuit of my career serving in the U.S. ARMY. However, I would like to hold back certain information for security reasons until you have the time to visit the BBC website stated below. This will enable you to have insight as to what I’m intending to share with you. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm
Please get back to me after visiting the above referenced website to enable us to discuss the matter more. I’m uncomfortable sending this message to you without knowing if you are indeed with me or you decide to go public.

Sincerely,

Jim

Oh, well, by all means, send that highly classified information to my Gmail account.

The news story that “Sgt. White” wanted us to read, of course, was a BBC story from 2003 about a huge cache of currency ($100 million and €90 million) discovered in a Baghdad residential neighborhood. Ah, see what the scammers did there? By using an actual news story, if one that’s six years old, it almost lends his story some credibility once he finally gets around to asking you to wire him your life savings.

Then, apparently someone used the Benin United Parcel Service to send me a package worth $1.5 million. Gee, I didn’t think I had any relatives in Benin, let alone any who left me a big inheritance.

UNITED PARCEL SERVICE BENIN
ATTENTION ,Customer,
WE RECEIVED YOUR PARCEL IN OUR CUSTODY VALUED $1.5 MILLION TO BE SENT YOU AS SOON AS WE RECEIVED YOUR INTERNATIONAL INSURANCE FEES OF $350.00, KINDLY LET US KNOW AS SOON AS YOU ARE READY TO SEND YOUR INSURANCE FEES TO ENABLE US OBTAIN YOUR INSURANCE AND DELIVER YOUR PARCE TO YOU,
YOUR’S FAITHFULLY
MR. Daniel John.
TEL: 229-96340519
Respond to my direct email,upsexpresscourier@eze.co.za

Only $350 for insurance on a package worth several times as much as my house? SWEET.

(Photo: Fuzzy Gerdes)