Hey dumb crooks, if you’re going to rob a place be sure not to wear a uniform with your company’s name on it and drive a van plastered with a nationally recognized logo. It makes it really easy for the police to catch you. On second thought, do just that, please.
According to KPTV in Oregon,
At about 10:45 a.m. Wednesday, the man walked into the Ace Checks Cashed on Southeast 73rd Avenue and Powell Street, where he attacked and robbed a woman who works in the store, police said. Officers have identified the employee as 37-year-old Nicole Loundree, of Portland.
Workers at a nearby business said they noticed something suspicious at the check-cashing store and then saw a man in a Comcast uniform rush out and leave in a Comcast van.
The police stopped two nearby Comcast vans and arrested one of the drivers, 25-year-old Michael Clarence Hagen, and charged him with attempted aggravated murder, assault, and robbery.
Hilariously, at least one local Comcast customer has decided this spells doom for her future Comcast dealings:
That frightens me because Comcast was just at our house this morning just at 9 o’clock fixing our wireless Internet, because our modems were broken, and you don’t know who you’re letting in your home,” [Michelle] Gardner said.
We know we like to cover bad things that Comcast does, but we’re pretty sure they don’t hire criminals at any higher a rate than other companies.
“Comcast Worker Jailed; Robbery Victim Recovering” [KPTV] (Thanks to Kevin!)