Lender Makes Borrowers Pledge Their Souls

A lender in Riga, Latvia, has borrowers sign away their souls as collateral on small, high-interest loans.

Mirosiichenko said his company would not employ debt collectors to get its money back if people refused to repay, and promised no physical violence. Signatories only have to give their first name and do not show any documents. “If they don’t give it back, what can you do? They won’t have a soul, that’s all.”

“Would you pledge your soul as loan collateral?” [Reuters] (Photo: goldberg)

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  1. Ubik2501 says:

    Does he hold a flashlight under his face when he goes over the loan terms with new clients?

  2. thebluepill says:

    Mirosiichenko might have your soul, but your rear belongs to Wachovia!

    *joke*

    This has to be a prank of some kind.. there is no way at all this is legit? I mean.. c’mon.. Whats the scam here? Are people really that afraid that they have sold their souls?

    • Lincolnsbeard33 says:

      @thebluepill: oh yeah. Back when I was in the college we used to bet on pretty much anything and everything. The ultimate bet wasn’t money it was your soul. There were a ton of people who would never bet their souls. It is kind of funny they were willing to bet hundreds but not their soul.

      Anyway I still own the rights to three souls.

  3. johnva says:

    He’d better hope that atheists never discover his business.

    (To preempt the inevitable: yes, I know that technically being an atheist has nothing to do with not believing in souls. In practice, though, most don’t.)

  4. XBL: Legend xKWx (Kyle) says:

    Time for me to get a new car loan! ;-)

  5. diasdiem says:

    “If they don’t give it back, what can you do? They won’t have a soul, that’s all,” he told Reuters in a basement office, with one desk, a computer and three chairs.”

    I’m guessing it was a very DEEP basement, the air conditioning really sucked, and there were fire hazards all over the place.

  6. majinbijiita says:

    Do you think my credit report will show if I already have a lien on my soul?

    (I was in desperate need of some red devil hot sauce – guess who made gave me the deal “of a lifetime”?)

  7. The Porkchop Express says:

    Does he have a metal mask by any chance? maybe with a green cape/suit combo. Does he hate Dr. Reed?

    either way, i’d get that loan. he can have my soul, it doesn’t have any money either.

  8. diasdiem says:

    For obvious reasons, investment bankers, lawyers, cable and telecommunication company executives, talentless yet successful movie stars and singers, and Rush Limbaugh are not eligible for these loans.

  9. wheresmymind says:

    But how does he know he’ll be able to collect? What if someone has already pledged their soul to someone else, and it’s no longer theirs to give? Hasn’t this guy ever seen The Simpsons?

    • diasdiem says:

      @wheresmymind: Well obviously he does a credit check to see how much you’ve already leveraged your soul.

      • alexawesome says:

        @diasdiem: Actually, it’s more biblical. They just cut your immortal soul into however many necessary pieces. As we all should know, these things can be cut as many times as necessary, and each cut all the more excruciating. Any inconvenience to the lenders is more than made up for with the agonized screams.

        • Rectilinear Propagation says:

          @alexawesome: …Sounds more like Harry Potter.

          • alexawesome says:

            @Rectilinear Propagation: Not at all. I heard it described as being like a series of full-body paper cuts, each one worse than the last. The first one a sting that throbs – they generally wait for it to subside the first time before making the next cut, assuming the individual bartered away their soul to more than two interests.

            Not.. not that I actually know, or anything. I’m just guessing.

    • bibliophibian says:

      @wheresmymind: The form on his website has a clause that says the pledged collateral must be free of other claims, or something like that.

      So, if you’ve already pledged your soul to someone but sign the paper anyway, you’re already in violation of the contract – in which case, it won’t matter if you pay the money back or not!

      I posted about this on a couple of websites, and had some interesting responses from people in Latvia. The overall conclusion: (1) Punkd, and (2) Free publicity for a yet-to-be-announced aspect of the business.

  10. KhaiJB says:

    so his forms read :

    I, the Damned, Sign my Soul…..

  11. diasdiem says:

    This guy probably employs Dementors as collection agents.

  12. Kaellorian says:

    I can imagine that in addition to the spartan office equipment there was likely a table of shabby former soviets playing an angry game of cards in the corner.

  13. theblackdog says:

    I should check the Latvian airline I was supposed to fly with and see if they’re planning to take possession of my soul for filing a chargeback against them

  14. DerangedRoleModel says:

    Well if you enjoy having automatic doors not working, this deal is for you.

  15. Christopher Milner says:

    The only person to ever make money at this, is the Devil

  16. Musician78 says:

    I wish there were lenders like this in the US.

  17. Radi0logy says:

    Note to self : If you’re ever in Latvia, you win a free ipod!

  18. u1itn0w2day says:

    Many can’t even honor the loan contracts they sign and wind up settling or declaring bankruptcy . The thing that loves contracts like this is numerically identified with 3 6s . This might be one contract you not break .

  19. PencilSharp says:

    “They won’t have a soul, that’s all.”

    Sounds fair to me. Wonder how much I could get for my family’s dog’s soul?

    /I hate that dog.

  20. veronykah says:

    I’ve offered to sell my soul to the devil many times. He never shows up.
    Maybe I don’t have one?

  21. H3ion says:

    As long as I can still hire Daniel Webster, why not?

  22. Kaisum says:

    I need a loan from this guy. I’ll pay it back so letting him borrow my soul is okay with me.

  23. Villnius says:

    I used to do that every time someone asked to borrow money from me in school. On the IOU, I wrote that in the event of default, I get their immortal soul in servitude for no less than 100 years — payable upon MY death. A few thought I was nuts, most thought it was halarious. EVERYBODY paid me back within a week.

  24. mrearly2 says:

    What sense does it make? No one can take your soul. They can help you lose it to eternal hell, but it’ll always be with you.

  25. lostalaska says:

    Hmmm I’m wondering if I can take out a second mortgage on my soul? If that doesn’t work I wonder if he’d be willing to accept a unicorn and some magic beans as collateral.