$220,000 Diamond Ring Gets Rave Reviews On Amazon, Sort Of

We’re no fans of fake customer reviews here at Consumerist, it’s true, but obviously goofy reviews are one of my very favorite things. (The reviews for this gallon of milk are an Internet classic.)

Reader Rob sent us a link to a $220,000 diamond ring for sale on Amazon…marked down from only $338,800. Bargain!

Item tags include: “awesome,” “diamonds,” “rock-on,” and “grocery store rendevous.” Wait, what?

This is my favorite of the reviews:

When my girlfriend subtly added this to her wishlist, I have to admit I had my doubts. Not about the marriage — no, I love this woman and WILL make her my wife now that I know she wants me “that way”. No, I had doubts about buying a ring online. I don’t know a lot about diamonds, but it looked a little more “blingy” than the pieces at Sears, which I had been regularly browsing on my breaks since meeting her at Hot Topic. Sure I buy car repair manuals, action figures, knives, and prescription drugs on-line — but never something as precious as jewelry for the finger of my soul-mate. What if it didn’t fit? Would I send her finger to Jeff Bezos? He wouldn’t want that….

Without a credit card of my own, I knew I would have to do things differently and “think outside this box” if I wanted to win her heart and give her the ring of her dreams. Was I sure, really sure, I wanted to do what was necessary to secure $338,800.00 in cash to send to Jeff Bezos in exchange for this ring?

Friends, my doubts were eliminated completely when I saw that the ring of the dreams of the girl of MY dreams was so dramatically discounted thanks to Amazon’s low-low prices! I knew Amazon offered the best prices in town on authentic reproduction movie-set quality knives from films such as Predator II and TV’s Heroes, but when I saw that this ring was normally $338,800.00 and that it was bargain basemented to the rediculously low-low price of $118,800.00 I knew immediately that this was roughly 40%. Plus free shipping!? Watch your mail Jeff Bezos, what a bargain!

I’m not impressed with the free Super Saver shipping—for that much, I want someone to personally drive it out to me from Seattle, nestled on a silk pillow in the backseat of a Town Car.

Platinum Radiant Cut 3-Stone Diamond Ring w/ Trapezoid Sidestones [Amazon]