Our food safety problems have been solved! [The Onion]

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  1. alpinerover says:

    I laughed out loud when I got to ‘Nella Wafers.

  2. dorianh49 says:

    Given the ongoing shenanigans of what the FDA will/won’t (get paid to) approve, this really wouldn’t suprise me if it were true.

  3. Mike8813 says:

    Ah, salmonella. The only thing yuckier than salmon. …Or any seafood for that matter.

    I hate fish!

  4. SteelersAreGo says:

    In the same vein, and one of my favorite Onion pieces: [www.theonion.com]

  5. Trai_Dep says:

    “It’s approved,” [FDA Chief] Sundlof continued.”Healthy, delicious salmonella is finally approved.”

    I <3 Onion

  6. CaptZ says:

    Why did it take them so long to get to this solution?

    Love The Onion!

  7. FuryOfFirestorm says:

    When we get sick, we’ll barf together

    You’ll have painful diarrhea forever

    And always feel the pain

    Of puking up blood until the end

    Now you’re shitting more than ever

    We’ll still die together

    Because we ate my salmonella…ella…ella…ella

    eh…eh…eh…

    Because we ate my salmonella…ella…ella…ella