It is no secret that we dole out criticism of the cable companies, perhaps, on a daily basis. We thought it might be fair and equitable to learn what cable technicians hate about the customers. We found out about this post written by a cable tech who isn’t afraid to let it fly, “And every once in a while, we get the one customer, and we just fucking hate you,” says “InstallerTechJeff” on Cable Rant Forums. The 25 reasons, inside…
First off I would have to say, I really love being a cable guy. It is a very respectable job, and I have been doing cable for just over 2 years. It’s a decent job with good benefits. I love people. I love being around people. Particularly in the area I work in, I don’t typically have to deal with your everyday morons. Most customers are very happy to see me arrive, and I am usually very happy to meet them as well.
Keep some things in mind though. First of all, we are human beings, and if we at any point realize that there is going to be a substantial amount of work to do in order to get your services up and running, it may and probably will become irritating.
And every once in a while, we get the one customer, and we just fucking hate you.
1. We call you to confirm the appointment and to let you know we’re on the way. We get there. You’re not home, so we leave, and we end up having to come back to do the damn job because you are liars and said you were home, when you weren’t. We are on schedules you asshole. You can wait another day or until the evening to get your shit installed.
2. Your dogs shit everywhere in your yard. Pick that shit up, we have to work in it. Slob.
3. Your dogs shit in your house. Shoot your dog please.
4. Your children are climbing on us. Control them. I for one love kids, and love playing with them but put that bugger in the crib sometimes.
5. Your house smells like ass. Clean up your plates that have plants growing on them now. This bowl that had milk in it is molding and looks like green beans now. It’s gross. Pick up your shitty diapers, and spray some air freshener or I’m coming back in with a surgical mask on (yes we have those), and I would prefer not to hurt your feelings.
6. Your router. Do it your damn self.
7. Offer us a drink, it’s hot, we’re probably going out of our way to make sure your shit works!
8. We’re not going to assemble your piece of crap computer! We’re not going to fix it either, we’re the cable company, not Geek Squad.
9. We’re not there to set up your surround sound system. We are not Circuit City.
10. MOVE YOUR CRAP OUT OF THE WAY!!! If we have to access your attic to change splitter configurations (or to do a wallfish), move your own shit out of the way, it’s not our job to move your boxes and luggage in your closet. We’re not Mayflower or any other moving company. In fact we’re not there to move any furniture, electronics, computers, clothing, boxes, etc. IF ANYTHING HAS TO BE MOVED, YOU NEED TO MOVE IT OR YOU DON’T GET YOUR CABLE. If we break something we have to pay for it. Here’s a solution, move your shit before we get there (ie. dressers, entertainment centers — move these AWAY from cable and AC outlets, so we have access)
11. If you are ordering Internet make sure you have a computer there for us to test it on when we arrive. common sense.
12. If you are ordering digital phone, you don’t need a phone there (we have test phones), but don’t expect us to run 3 phone outlets for free. the sh*t aint happening.
13. If your installation has to get rescheduled, don’t flip out. Its not our fault your drop got cut and has to be road-bored, and we are only adhering to our companies policies.
14. You don’t get a new box every time a new one comes out. That’s not how it works. They are all designed to do the same thing. If there’s a problem we’ll replace it, but don’t waste our time.
15. YOUR INTERNET IS NOT SLOW, YOUR COMPUTER IS!!! Take a few weeks to learn about how computers work. It’s important nowadays because computers rule the world right now. 95% of the time, if the internet is slow, your computer either has too much porn/spyware/adware/virus, etc to properly function. Run the recovery disk or fix it otherwise. Because if the signal levels are correct, your internet is going to be fast. modems usually don’t just go bad.
16. Dogs – A lot of us love animals but put those bitches up if they bite. It’s not funny. That’s why so many of my teammates hate dogs!! I love them, and most other animals but some of you idiots don’t train your animals. Put the mean ones away somewhere (preferably somewhere that is not important to the cable installation).
17. Put some damn clothes on. It was your choice for you to have us there at 8am, not ours. I’d rather be sleeping still. So get your ass up.
18. Coax wiring — don’t try to do it yourself, because you probably don’t know what youre doing. Radio Shack and Wal-Mart coax cable sucks. It’s usually RG-59 equivalent and is good for nothing. We use RG-6 or better. and the connectors, and dielectric/outer sheet layer differences on our cable make worlds of difference. Thanks for trying to help, but trust us on this one.
19. If your house is over 450 feet from the tap (or pole) don’t expect premium services (digital cable, internet, or digital phone) to work well, if they work at all. You probably shouldnt even have cable.
20. If you are ordering digital cable, make sure you have a working TV there for us to test it on when we arrive.
21. Contractors are hard workers, but there are bad eggs everywhere (contractors & in-house alike). Some of us were contractors before we worked directly for the company! Don’t hate!
22. Don’t get an attitude, when speaking to the tech, unless the tech has one first.
23. We physically CANNOT give you free HBO. your set-top box is provisioned from the office, not from your house.
This request, although typically offered for humor-purposes, is getting old.24. THERE IS NO CABLE SWITCH. YOUR CABLE IS NOT TURNED ON WITH ANY TYPE OF SWITCH OR SIMILAR DEVICE. IN FACT: Less than 1% of my jobs are connected properly with good parts where I only have to connect it at the tap. We almost always have to tone outlets out, sometimes run new ones, scrub old ones, add equipment to your account, correct job codes, etc.
25. If we are not assigned your installation, we do NOT want to pick it up early. Unless the tech is VERY bored with no other work, he will probably not want to do it early, don’t ask.
And finally. If you feel like we did a good job AT LEAST let us know, and gratuity is nice too. You tip the Pizza man and wait staff at a restaurant right? Well they are just doing their job, and if they are nice and give you the service you want, you tip them. We work harder for our money, and we are way underpaid too, so don’t be shy!! We remember these things!
We don’t expect $50 or anything crazy like that, in fact we don’t expect anything, but if we have to spend 3 or 4 hours crawling your house to rewire it, and hang a new aerial drop just so you can have service. Come on. And be nice to the service/repair techs too!! They have WAY more experience and they have to work just as hard (or harder) to fix an issue the installer left behind.
Somehow, this guy makes Jim Carrey’s character look well-adjusted.
CUSTOMERS – WE F*CKING HATE YOU [Cable Rant Forums] (Thanks to Long Island Pc Tech!)
(Photo: Getty)
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As a cable installation Tech. I understand EVERY rant this guy makes. I have had customers who show me the extra mile and customers who were the biggest dicks on the earth I treat each with the same respect they give me. I have no problem going out of my way for a customer. But I have experienced every single issue listed from customers. I don’t expect much but I am just doing the work I was told to do. I will not leave an address until that job is complete. If that makes me late for the next so be it but I have pride in what I do and I want to ensure the work I do is correct and to current EQA Standards. It is rare that I’m not on time for an appointment but if I’m there during the time slot and your not, I call you, if you don’t answer I will have the job cancelled. In our area we set out ETA’s and an automated system calls the customer before and after every install. So let me go over the list.
1. I’ve already stated above. I try and be fair and I can’t call the job in cancelled until after 15 min from the start of your appointment ex 1-5 appt. would be 1:15pm to have cancelled. If I’m early and your not there I can’t do anything but wait or call to see if your avaliable early.
2. Dogs will be dogs but please keep them from using a major area like your power meter area as a bathroom. Any other area is fine.
3. This does happen and is just plain disgusting. Just clean it up please.
4. I too have and like kids. They are naturally curious but we are doing our job and they can get in our ways. I don’t want to take any chances on accidentally hurting one or worse being acused of doing anything by being left alone with one. That’s why I don’t even enter a home if no one over 18 is home. That’s the quickest way to get a job rescheduled. This is for their safety and mine.
5. Again some people are nasty it’s just nasty. Not to mention that in these homes roaches kill cable boxes and modems.
6. I first hook the modem up to the computer direct to verify it works. We are not responsible for customer owned routers but I do try and at least connect them if time allows.
7. If the home is clean I don’t mind a customer helping keep me hydrated. If it’s 90+ outside please just be nice and offer some water. Tap water is fine. Anything other is appreciated not required. If you keep us comfortable we will get done quicker and want to do more for you.
8. When customers move they often don’t have their computers set up. This only takes time from the next install. I will often get a game plan before I start and let the customer do this while I am hooking up and bringing up to code the outside part of the home.
9. Same thing as above.
10. People often line the walls with crap and have no clue where anything in THEIR home is. I must move everything to find where your outlets are chance breaking something in the process. If stuff is in our way it only slows us down from getting to the next job.
11. It is my companies policy that if no computer is in the home I’m not to install the internet. If the customer is computer competent I will on occasion still do the job and verify with my laptop.
12. Phone jobs come with two outlets if possible or what worked in the home upon arrival.
13. I try and get as many jobs done as I can. If I have to leave a temp. cable to get cable on I will. But there are restrictions on what I can do. I can’ go more than about 300ft with rg11 cable. I also can’t cross any road with a temp cable. so if a road bore ( installing a cable under the road) is required the job may need rescheduled. If I have to put up a new arial drop I will. But there are some things I can’t do.
14. I’ve not really had an issue with many boxes but I have with some of the new HD and HD DVR boxes. Only a select few have HDMI capability the rest use component cables. There’s not a big difference between them but I have no choice on what boxes I bring. What I have is what you’ll get. I can’t even request one. Sorry. Take that up with the company.
15. Again I use my laptop for many installs to verify things work correctly. I had one pc that took over 30min to just start up and I think that they also said anything older than win milineum we aren’t to install. I will often still try and do the install but just know that your computer is going to be the most likely cause of your wowe’s. Every modem install we do also has to have signal readings take for tx snr and tx levels. So we are assured that the job is up to spec. A record of this is recorded for future reference. Things happen and I’m sure computers are an easy scape goat but if the levels are good it’s generally a good suspect.
16. We are paid to be at your home but we aren’t paid well enough to be bit by your dog. Little dogs can be worse than big dogs. If you can’t control your animals please put them out of our way. We have enough to worry about without having to worry about getting bit.
17. I really don’t care what you wear just let me in to get the job started.
18. I used to be a manager for Radioshack and some of their better gold splitters aren’t bad but the cheap silver ones will cause havoc every time. Also rg6 is the only cable to run. Don’t use electrical staples that crimp the cable. Also no sharp right turns your car dosen’t like it and neither does coax. Also don’t keep 30 extra feet of cable coiled up just so you can move things around. Use a coupler and extension cable. The coil can cause problems.
19. Long drops are asking for problems. Without adding a tap closer you are just asking for problems. Signals can only travel so far before losing too much signal. Amps are too often used as band aids.
20. I can’t properly verify the cable box works without a tv there and I can’t set it up through the onscreen menu without a tv.
21. As a contractor myself I have seen better work from us than from them but there are things we can’t do that only they are allowed to like tap repairs. Also as a contractor we have all the expense of tools, trucks, gas, repairs for our stuff and the like.
22. I try my best to keep any attitude at bay and try and treat the customer and their home with respect. I expect the same.
23. I haven’t gotten this request often but like him I can’t give ANY free services. I don’t even get free cable.
24. The only switches are at charter to turn on digital services after a digital box is installed. We most often have to come out to do some type of work and bring your home and it’s wiring to current code.
25. I have had very few opportunities to pick up a specific job early. Most often when I have time from cancelled jobs or other free time we try and help other installers may be behind or might miss a time slot to help ensure you get services during the timeslot.
26. We are paid to do a job. You are paid to do your job. A waitress is paid WITH tips. For us it is just a nice gesture. If I’m at your home and things going well and I’m in and out in a few min (rare) I don’t expect a tip. If I’m at your home fixing years of crappy installs and sat hacks I don’t expect a tip. It is just nice to see a customer appreciates when I go out of my way to make sure I’m giving you the best cable service I can. And like others here have stated we remember tippers and rest assured they WILL get the best from us. We all work a little harder when it’s in our financial interest. It’s not required or expected it just a nice way to show your thanks. At a minimum please offer us something to drink. The gesture goes a long way to show you care about us.
@rustyzipper0: I agree. We work hard and should be appreciated and at least shown a little kindness.
You know what I do when a customer makes me upset? I give them a the worst, dirtiest, philthiest box and remote I can find on my truck. If they are getting internet, I give them a roachy modem. Sounds disgusting but you should see some of the houses we have to deal with.
I give them a remote with old batteries and I charge them for extra stuff that ordinarily I would have done for free (Stuff that cable company requires us to charge for) ie. running new outlets, etc., if they would not have been so ugly to me. I do nothing to make them upset to start with, but they are just angry at the cable company anyway. There are some real jerks in this world!
I agree 100%
I am a Service Tech with a Mid-sized cable company, and after all the things i’ve read on here, i thank GOD i don’t work for Comcast. 99% of that rant rings true. Honestly last year we had 1 guy hospitalized for a severe dog bite, I’ve been personally chased out of yards because someone didn’t want to pay their bill and about the time i got ready to set up my ladder to do the disconnect they let a pit bull out the back door telling it to “Git “em”. The company i work for puts a very high emphasis on customer service. I personally apologize on behalf of every cable tech from installer to advanced tech if you’ve ever had a bad experience with one of us. I have been offered gratuities for the work that i did at a customers house that fixed an issue they had or when i was an installer, got their service on efficiently and working properly so that nothing else needed to be done. I can’t count the number of times people have tried to get me to upgrade their package “on the sly” and then not believe me when i tell them it has to be changed in the computer at the office which will change it on their bill. Simple way to find out if it is your computer or your internet connection causing a slow-down on your surfing speed? http://www.speedtest.net if you get confirmation of what you are paying the bill for (i.e. 3000kb/s, 5000kb/s){1000kb/s = 1MB} it is the computer, i saw it mentioned that the neighbor’s internet usage would slow down someone else’s, this is not true, unless they are hijacking your wi/fi. The way cable hsd is set up each account is alotted a finite amount of bandwidth, if the bandwidth is exceeded the server automatically downgrades the speed and bandwidth for the account so that it DOESN’T interfere with another customer using thier services. I’ll be honest installing one outlet that wasn’t already scheduled to be done isn’t an issue, installing three is a pain, particularly when we have a FULL day’s work before we find out you don’t have even one cable outlet in your house. The comment on #18 i couldn’t agree more, i have had to replace so much of this white Wal-mart wire it is pathetic, I’m not going to get into the technical specs of the coaxial, but, we use better wire, connectors and splitters. Also when talking about splitters, i cannot stress enough SPLITTERS ARE FOR HOOKING UP MORE THAN ONE CABLE OUTLET, NOT FOR CONNECTING 2 PIECES OF CABLE TOGETHER! I’ve been to far too many houses where someone had a cheap Wal-mart 4-way splitter hooked up behind their tv with the input line connected and then one line running from the splitter to the tv the rest of the ports were left open, this allows foreign signal to get into the lines and messes up your picture, we will give you a barrel to connect 2 pieces of cable together if you just ask. Hopefully this clears up what the origional rant took to extremes.
Well….I am currently a cable technician for Comcast. I in fact like my job because I enjoy helping customers and It is different every day.
This guy has a lot of good points, but comes across as pretty stuck up.
First of all. I am not Comcast. I just work for them. I am very frustrated with how a lot of things work with the company but there isn’t anything customers or employee’s can do about it.
I will be the most professional and courteous cable guy you have ever had, until YOU (customer) decide to start giving me attitude. Then I will do the least amount as possible to get by in order to leave your home. I will respect you and your home, until I feel disrespected as a person. Don’t take your anger for the company out on the technician. I am there to help you! Not to hurt or cause any problems! If you are rude to me, I will return the favor. I don’t get paid well enough to deal with rude people.
I do not ever expect tips from customers, but when they are given it is very nice to receive. I can’t tell you how much extra work every day I do for the customers that is out of my job description. I hook up routers every day for customers, fix their computers, move their tv’s and furniture and lot of them can’t even say thanks!
Just remember, we are there to help not cause problems. I will treat you with respect and give you great service, until i feel disrespected. I don’t to do anything. I have the right to leave your house and you can wait another 2 weeks to get your cable service installed if you feel like taking your anger out on the technician that is there to serve you!
None of this is true, My boyfriend makes a better living doing this than people who graduated from college. He made a little less in the last two years, because of the economy, but he made 6 figure amounts for about the last 5 years before that. This is a well kept secret. He works at Mastec as a Direct TV installer and he makes great money. He gets to take home his company vehicle and doesn’t even have to pay for his gas to get to work. That alone is a perk. Also he has me on his health insurance and I use that too. Including dental and vision. He doesn’t ask anyone for a tip, this is his career, and he takes it seriously. He own his own home(as in paid for) and his cars and trucks are paid for too! He paid mine off too! He does have the occasional middle aged woman coming on to him, but that is understandable because he is good looking and fit due to the heavy lifting and hard work that he does. He says he never has taken advantage of this because it jeopardizes his job and he could end up in jail if the woman claims something other than consensual sex. That and getting hurt on the job are the risks he takes every day and he is well compensated for this. Thank You all for watching TV. You’ve given us a pretty good life.