Grocery Shrink Ray Unleashes Its Fury On Safeway Bakery

In an attempt to cut expenses on donuts and signage, this Safeway in Oakland, CA. reduced their “dozen” from 14 to 12, reader Leonard discovered. We would have preferred a new sign or no sign at all. The “14” crossed out with a Sharpie simply mocks us.

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  1. DeepFriar says:

    Whatever happened to the baker’s dozen?

  2. opsomath says:

    ohh, that’s so sad.

  3. Ftp1423 says:

    That is absolutely hilarious. Really, you should have just taken down the sign instead of throwing it in our faces. Although I would love to see another interation where it is lower that 12 such as “At Safeway a Dozen Half Dozen is 14 12 4, Really it’s 4″

  4. captadam says:

    Yeah, well, at my house, a foot is 12 inches.

    Take THAT, Safeway.

  5. Ftp1423 says:

    @Ftp1423: hmmm I guess the strikethrough text formatting doesn’t work. Anyone know how to do it right?

  6. rmz says:

    “At Safeway, a dozen is 12.”
    “At Safeway, a pound is 16 ounces.”
    “At Safeway, a dollar is 100 cents.”

    What a bargain!

  7. mike says:

    @Ftp1423: My $1 is really $10. Really, it is.

    At least they are being honest about it.

  8. Half Beast says:

    Oh man. There are so many better ways to edit that…
    the Sharpie scratch is just hilarious…

  9. Now we just have to change “a dozen” to “age of consent” or something.

  10. plasticredtophat says:

    uhh, who really need 14 donuts anyway?

  11. raisitup says:

    junior high sign-work notwithstanding, wouldn’t decreasing their “dozen” to thirteen have been a little more incrementally palatable?

  12. Nihon no Purin says:

    @plasticredtophat: i do, every single moment of my life

  13. *shrug* If you come after 8pm, you can still probably get 14 for $2, since they try to get rid of all their day-olds at night.

  14. Caprica Six says:

    that’s so ghetto…

  15. theblackdog says:

    Obligatory “People shouldn’t be eating donuts because it makes them fat!” comment.

    And let’s not forget the classic “OMG why are you shopping at Safeway, you should only be buying directly from farmers!” comment.

  16. Parting says:

    @theblackdog: Find me a local farmer, to which I don’t have to drive for 40 minutes….

  17. crabbyman6 says:

    That’s so awesome, I’d have cracked up in the store if I saw that. I guess at least it should be obvious now that you can’t expect to get 14 for their “dozen” price so you don’t get a surprise at the register?

  18. rachaeljean says:

    I call shenanigans on that one. Looks like some rogue agent thought they’d be funny with their sharpie and petty vandalism and send it to the consumerist for shits and giggles. I was at my local Safeway and Friday, and donuts were still 14 to a dozen there.

  19. @Victo: There’s a donut farm five minutes from my house. It’s great.

  20. Some idiot spelled doughnuts wrong. That’s the real news here.

  21. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    @Victo: My co-op delivers to me. Others deliver to central drop-off locations. You might indeed be able to find a farmer or co-op that does the same.

  22. 44 in a Row says:

    Find me a local farmer, to which I don’t have to drive for 40 minutes….

    Forget that. Find me a farmer with a donut tree.

  23. Skankingmike says:

    @Victo: there’s these places call farmers markets. but whatever.

    [apps.ams.usda.gov]

  24. Why does it mock us? It’s a sign of the times.

    If they had put in a new sign, or no sign at all, we wouldn’t have this awesome picture.

  25. JDAC says:

    @plasticredtophat: 14 people?

  26. Sherryness says:

    @Skankingmike: There’re (not “there’s”) places called farmer’s markets, that’s true. Lucky areas have farmer’s markets. But not all areas have farmer’s markets. I also have yet to find a farmer’s market that has all the produce available that a community could eat during every month of the year. Sometimes if you want an apple, you have to eat an import – because it’s not always summer everywhere.

  27. Krispy Kreme. Exactly 4.1 miles from me.

  28. Channing says:

    This is pretty funny. Seriously, though, looks like some wise-ass kid would do something like this. (Feel free to substitute wise-ass kid with college kid)
    If the store was really changing it to 12 I think that there would be better ways to go about it. =/

  29. MercuryPDX says:

    “At Safeway, a dozen is 12.”

    You will find this to be true only when the cashier takes the time to actually COUNT the number of donuts in the box.

  30. rmz says:

    @Skankingmike:

    “There were no farmers markets found matching your criteria.”

    :(

  31. darksunfox says:

    Is “Buy a dozen for the price of 12″ the new “2 for $10 or $5 each”?

  32. Nicole125 says:

    Why not just grab 14 then eat 2 of them while shopping and then pay for the 12. Samples anyone?

  33. My keyboard has a typo key says:

    @Skankingmike:

    Interesting link there. I found out something I already knew. The nearest Farmer’s Market is over 90 miles away.Would of been nice if there was one closer.I was hoping there was.

    So I will keep going to the grocery store for my vegetables and things. Usually carried by a Farmer’s Market.

  34. theblackdog says:

    @Victo: Hah, and a farmer that will somehow have all the foods you need on their farm so you don’t have to drive 5 miles down the road to the next place.

  35. theblackdog says:

    @rachaeljean: Yeah, I’m liable to think this was customer related shenanigans.

  36. peter_in_paris says:

    What is more shocking is that the word “dozen” has somehow come to mean anything other than 12.

  37. @Nicole125: Because that’ll get you arrested.

  38. ThunderRoad says:

    The sharpie crossout just makes it sad :(

  39. reznicek111 says:

    Solution: make your own doughnuts at home! It’s easy, it’s cheaper, and you can find tons of recipes on the Internet.

    {/sarcasm}

  40. @reznicek111: Man, my Grandma’s homemade doughnuts were the best.

  41. Nicole125 says:

    @Michael Belisle: Not if you are a cop-just saying!

  42. marike says:

    I posted a photo similar to this in the consumerist flickr pool a little over a year ago from the Safeway in Kapolei.

  43. Rick Rockwell says:

    I make my own doughnuts with organic doughnut flour milled by Amish farmers and filled with jelly made from fruits grown by local nuns. I don’t see why anyone would buy doughnuts when it’s so easy to go to a local convent and Amish settlement for supplies.

  44. ZekeSulastin says:

    @Rick Rockwell: I had to read that twice to catch the implied – bravo :)

    Sucks about the extra donut loss, though ._.

  45. mk says:

    @Skankingmike: I live in Chicago where there is a farmer’s market in pretty much every other neighborhood. This link found none.

  46. P_Smith says:

    @Ftp1423: That is absolutely hilarious. Really, you should have just taken down the sign instead of throwing it in our faces. Although I would love to see another interation where it is lower that 12 such as “At Safeway a Dozen Half Dozen is 14 12 4, Really it’s 4″

    Actually, if the sign is put up by management, it might be done to avoid conflict at the cash register.

    Version 1:

    Cashier: “Sorry, you’ve got a dozen and two extras.”

    Customer: “Bull, I’ve been getting 14 for years.”

    Cashier: “See the changed sign?”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    Version 2:

    Cashier: “Sorry, you’ve got a dozen and two extras.”

    Customer: “Bull, I’ve been getting 14 for years.”

    Cashier: “We changed our policy. It’s twelve now.”

    Customer: “Then why the hell don’t you tell people?”

  47. DH405 says:

    @plasticredtophat:

    “uhh, who really need 14 donuts anyway?”

    A group of 7 who want 2 donuts each? I’m pretty sure that the dozen doesn’t come with a contract stating ONLY you will eat them.

  48. Keavy_Rain says:

    @44 in a Row: Or that alternate dimension Homer Simpson ended up in where doughnuts rain from the sky.

  49. Totorototoro says:

    Did Consumerist call the local Safeway to see if this was true or not?

  50. no.no.notorious says:

    @rmz: HAHAHHAAHAHA

  51. MercuryPDX says:

    @Totorototoro: I don’t think NY has a “local Safeway”.

    I called mine and spoke to a woman in the bakery who said they USED TO sell 14 donuts in a dozen about two years ago, now it’s the standard 12.

    I guess the shrink ray just reached the OP’s locale.

  52. Landru says:

    Hey! This is the store on Grand – I just saw this sign last week . I guess I wouldn’t make a very good reporter. All I did was look at it and roll my eyes.

  53. dweebster says:

    @44 in a Row: dunno know about that, but I know where the Dollar Tree locations are…

  54. Maulleigh says:

    That sign is hilarious!

  55. azntg says:

    Coming soon: “at safeway a dozen is NONEXISTENT”

  56. coren says:

    @plasticredtophat: When I buy donuts for the “staff” in the morning – two help desk coworkers, six back office people, plus whoever else is in the repair bay. Add in a shift change, that’s 14 easy.

    @theblackdog: Brb, gone to the donut farm.

    I’ll report in tomorrow if I remember to go – but I think the closest Safeway to the Office still believes in a 14 donut dozen. Not that they open your donut box to count.

  57. Starfury says:

    The Newark, CA Safeway was selling 14 donuts for the price of a dozen. This stopped many months ago. Recently the price went from $5.99/doz to 6.99/doz for donuts.

    And they must’ve gotten a new baker…their donuts suck now.

  58. Nick says:

    At least this Safeway did a slightly better job with their Sharpie: [www.flickr.com]
    Step it up, Oakland.

  59. Anticitizen says:

    Surprised someone hasn’t mentioned the fact that all the bakery’s prices have gone up.

    I believe donuts used to be 49 cents, now 59 cents. Foccacia rolls used to be 59 cents and are now 69 cents. Everything’s going up.

  60. Altima NEO says:

    Actually, they were 12, but then they made it 14 for a few years as part of a promotional deal, and then they reverted back to 12.

    Its a chain-wide deal, not just this particular store. These guys just got lazy. If corporate saw it, Im sure theyd have a hissy fit.

  61. Anonymous says:

    Are you sure some kid wasn’t just trying to be a smartass? Safeway stores and employees are regularly evaluated with secret shoppers… and this doesn’t seem like something a Safeway would do for risk of a low score. But then again, it IS Oakland.