Domino’s has a mildly amusing television campaign right now to promote their new slogan “You Got 30 Minutes,” but the fine print on Domino’s site points out that this should be taken only as a suggestion, not a service guarantee: “Because safety is a priority “You Got 30 Minutes™” is not a guarantee but an estimate. You may get more.” A former Domino’s delivery guy is not impressed: “Some douchebag ad exec wants to trick customers into believing that the ’30 minutes or it’s free’ guarantee is back, then leave it to the delivery drivers to explain to inevitably angry customers why their pizza isn’t free when it gets there in 31 minutes.”
He writes, “Just imagine your summer job consisting of this conversation 100 times a night:”
DRIVER: Um, that’ll be $23.52.CUSTOMER: No, I called before eight, that actually took thirty-four minutes.
DRIVER: I am sorry valued customer but Domino’s Pizza no longer honors the thirty minute guarantee anymore thirty minutes is just an estimate I apologize for the inconvenience.
[CUSTOMER LAUGHS. THERE IS AN AWKWARD SILENCE]
CUSTOMER: You’re serious? What a f*cking crock, you expect me to pay for this? I just saw the ad on tv!
DRIVER: Sir, calm down-
CUSTOMER: F*ck you, this is all your fault! If the advertising people were here I’d punch them a lot but because they’re not I’m gonna pretend that you’re them and by beating you it will somehow solve things!!!
DRIVER: Please don’t-
[CUSTOMER STARTS BEATING DRIVER OVER THE HEAD WITH THE PIZZA...]
(Thanks to Mike!)
“On Behalf Of All Former Delivery Drivers, I Say F*CK YOU, Domino’s Pizza” [Best Week Ever]
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@Adam Hyland: The problem with the fees is that they aren’t advertised, aren’t stated clearly up front. You use cell phones as an example: How much does that $39.99 monthly plan actually cost you? More like $50, right? Shouldn’t you be told that up front? Otherwise it’s deceptive. I can’t believe you’re really OK with that.
@CapitalC: Yeah, I think you’re the only one. Whether it’s absolutely proper in your old grammar book isn’t that the way most people talk?
@rjhiggins:
The way people talk doesn’t make it proper grammar.
I agree with CapitalC.
@Buran, Beerad, WV.Hillbilly: you are missing my point. when i delivered, i busted my ass to get you hot, fresh pizza. if you want to stiff me on a tip, go for it. when that happens, it’s my goal to “fire the customer”. a non-tip delivery cuts into a driver’s earnings. the whole idea is to get you to stop ordering.
BURAN: actually, i liked my job a lot. 99% of people were very generous. the cheap ones were few & far between & after my shenanigans, they were no more. problem solved. oh – & chargebacks put you on our “no delivery” list (along with the check kiters, the pranksters & the “dangerous addresses”). enjoy the company!
BEERAD: the service is responsive. cheap tippers trigger bad service. & drivers communicate with each other, so if you give one guy a good tip & never get him again, you may still be receiving good service. but brooklyn is a very big place with many pizza shops, so there’s probably a lot more turnover than the college town i worked in. plus, it probably wouldn’t take you 2 hrs to get your pizza if you all stopped parking in the middle of the street. enjoy the grandma’s & the knots – we don’t have them up here (jealous!).
HILLBILLY: complain all you want. regional doesn’t make or deliver your pizza – the “local mongoloids” do. enjoy the dysentery.
but i digress. tip your driver, don’t tip him – we all obviously have our own thoughts on this. i was just trying to offer some insight laced with a tiny bit of sarcasm.
Technically, the word “got” is not needed.
“You have 30 minutes!”
Two types of people here:
1. Tipping for a service for which the value of the service is or should be factored into the initial cost is stupid
2. Tip or I take a dump on your pizza
Both bring up valid points, but the hostility inherent in both sides makes me not want to risk getting pizza delivered again.
This is coming from a person who
- Always tips 3$ and typically orders online so the driver KNOWS I have tipped them before they even get to my house.
- Never tips at a coffee place unless my drink is somehow complex (which it never is) or unless I’m a regular and am trying to build a rapport with the staff
I tip the pizza guys because in Miami they aren’t students; they’re usually middle aged men who need the money. I don’t tip the guy at starbucks because it isn’t worth 1$ to me to pump coffee into a cup, and I feel any tip under 1$ is insulting.
As a current delivery driver for Dominos (waiting on my real job to pick back up again) we get absolutely nothing of the delivery fee. This is noted, in 3-point flyspeck, on the sticker on your pizza box.
At my store we get a flat $0.80 per delivery (management adjusts this with gas prices) and whatever you choose to tip us.
With the whole timing thing, the goal is to get the first pizza into the oven in 60 seconds from the time you hang up the phone. The oven takes about 4 minutes to bake your pizza, boxing/cutting/tagging takes a minute or so more, getting bagged and dispatched about a minute or so more. For three-item orders we generally can get pizzas out the door by 10 or 15 minutes from when you hang up…but if it’s a double delivery run, and there’s only one person working the inside and one driver (yes we make pizzas and do /everything/ when there’s no runs) then it may take a while. The driver dispatch stickers give us the time the order was taken and a ‘quoted time’, which is automatically calculated based on load only and ignores things like traffic and distance–and our safety training emphasizes ‘the hustle’, so whenever you see us we’re supposed to be running–but whenever we’re in the car, it’s two-second-rule this and ‘drive 3 under the limit’ that. No driver follows this, as we make $8.07/hr (about 50 cents over minimum wage) and go through gas, oil, axles, brakes, starters, alternators, and just about everything else faster than you really want to know about. The faster we can get you your pizza, the more we MIGHT make as a tip and the more runs we can make to other people. Yeah, if there’s historically no tips from your house we may be a little more relaxed about getting there, but we’re not going to deliberately take forever because then we shoot ourselves in the foot by losing that time.
Give us a break…we have to find your house number in the dark in unfamiliar neighborhoods, do all the work of the inside folks and then some, and all so you never have to leave your chair. Is the pizza cold? Then you’ve got a complaint. Otherwise, we’re trying to get it to you as quickly as we can get away with.
@alexanderpink: I used to keep the delivery charge when I did deliveries for the small pizza store I worked for, until they told me it wasn’t for me (I wasn’t a delivery driver, but I went on deliveries to ease the awful boredom). I don’t understand delivery charges, then. I thought they were supposed to supplement the driver for shitty tippers, the same way so many restaurants in Miami add gratuity to your bill. Everybody in Miami has a delivery charge too, I’d never heard of such a thing in DC.
@Superborty:
I was just about to say that. Thanks for making this point.
@Adam Hyland:
About the 10 minutes thing. Notice I said “…takes about 10 minutes (not counting prep time to make your own dough…”
I make pizza at least once every two weeks. Putting ingredients onto the dough and baking it at 350 takes 10 minutes. Chances are, if it takes you longer than 10 minutes, your oven is too cool. Try this. Preheat to 400. When it is done preheating, drop it to 350 and put the pizza in. Opening the oven door will drop your temperature at least 25 degrees. Preheat hotter than you need it, then when you open the door and put the cold pizza in, it will be at the temperature you need. That’s probably a reason why it takes you longer than 10 minutes.
@ClankBoomSteam: Comment on Domino’s Pizza: Sacrificing Our Delivery Drivers So We Can Use Our New Slogan FYI, Thomas monaghan has had no interest or association with Domino’s since
he sold the company about 7 years ago.
whoa whoa whoa wait a min..im hearing alot of complaints about how $1.50 included into the total is a problem..::cough::cough::: alexanderpink do u think us drivers work for free haha were making a living just like anyone else..dont forget the more generous tip givers are always gonna get good service because ur paying them for attention..kinda like u pay a stripper see assholes like you we remember you sooo we dont make a snappy rush on it not at the expense of nothing..i deliver here next to the federal law enforcement training center in georgia and they all tip well because they want it fast and done right the first time so tuff shit non tippers ur just second to us..we will get to u when we feel it best suites us at a medium pace and following traffic laws down to the book..like i said tip well expect well..sorry its a cut throat business