Joanna thought she could send out two free faxes using eFax, but when she did, she got an email telling her she needed to upgrade. Purchase the paid service just to use the demo? That doesn’t sound right. She tried to connect to eFax sales chat to get her problem solved.

Yes, she should’ve sent an email to customer service, but that’s not the point. The point is that the person on the other end was totally incapable of responding like a human. Previous eFax posts (1, 2) corroborate this.

We don’t think they even have a keyboard, just a mouse to select pre-packaged answers from a drop-down menu. Apparently it doesn’t have any options for responding to queries about the Simpsons…

(Photo: Tubes.)

---

Chat InformationYou are now chatting with ‘Bret D’
Joanna: hi
Bret D: Welcome to the j2 Global Sales Team! I am Bret, your Online Sales Representative. How may I assist you today?
Joanna: bret d
Joanna: my efax number is: xxx-xxx-xxxx
Joanna: they told me i got to send 2 free faxes
Joanna: but when i tried
Joanna: i got an email telling me i have to upgrade
Bret D: Our experts at the Customer support department will be able to answer/solve your queries.
Bret D: * Please browse our FAQs section at http://www.efax.com/efax/twa/page/help
Bret D: * Use the ‘Search’ option on the page to seek help with your enquiry by typing in your question
Bret D: * You could also email your enquiry to our Customer Support Department by clicking on the tab ‘Contact Customer Support’ and filling up the form.
Bret D: Email support is available 24/7 at freehelp@mail.efax.com
Joanna: i don’t need email support, though
Joanna: and i already went through the FAQs
Bret D: For all account related issues, you need to contact out customer support as this is a sales chat.
Joanna: this is sales
Bret D: If you wish, I can upgrade your existing number and add a local number under eFax Plus 30-Day Free Trial Offer.
Bret D: If you wish, I can upgrade your existing number and add a local number under eFax Plus 30-Day Free Trial Offer.
Bret D: You can send and receive faxes via your email to anywhere in the world and to any fax machine.
Bret D: You need not to download any software with the eFax Plus service since you will receive the faxes in .pdf file format.
Joanna: bret, are you sending me pre-written answers?
Joanna: throw me a bone here!
Joanna: i might be interested in upgrading, but i want to see how it works, if it’s smooth, etc.
Joanna: brettttttt!
Bret D: Joanna, with eFax Plus: You will get all the features immediately.
Joanna: you’re sending me pre-written answers!
Joanna: this is a sad day in the life of Joanna [redacted]
Joanna: I just asked a computer to throw me a bone.
Bret D: Joanna, you will need a credit card to avail this special offer.
Joanna: ok, how about this: who is your favorite character from the simpsons.
Joanna: everyone has a favorite character from the simpsons…
Bret D: While processing your account, our system auto checks your card for $1.00 even though it does not debit it.
Bret D: Would that be preferable?
Joanna: except for a computer…
Joanna: come on, who is it?
Joanna: barney?
Joanna: moe?
Joanna: I’ve always been a fan of mr. burns, myself.
Joanna: hello?
Bret D: I apologize for the inconvenience. We would be unable to process your request since you have reached the sales department. Our experts at the Customer support department will be able to answer your queries.
Bret D: Thank You for contacting j2 Global Sales Chat. We hope you found our session helpful. Good Bye!
Chat InformationChat session has been terminated by the site operator.
Chat InformationYou are not currently in a chat session.
Chat InformationYou are not currently in a chat session.

— BEN POPKEN

Robot CSRs Man All The Online Fax Chat Lines
Update: Canceling Fax Service Like Passing Gallstones
Canceling Fax Service Like Passing Gallstones

Want more consumer news? Visit our parent organization, Consumer Reports, for the latest on scams, recalls, and other consumer issues.