Same Zune Gay Porn Post, Now With Video Included

Liberated the “Walmart Sells Gay Porn Filled Zune To Little Girl” clip from the evil clutches of the Fox media player.

CHANELL: “And she asks me what is this? And I’m like, I don’t know what that thing does. So she gave it to me, and it was a homosexual orgy… that they had videotaped for an hour and 44 minutes.”

REPORTER: “The store manager blamed Microsoft.”

FATHER: “The issue is, you didn’t check it once it came back into your store.”

Definitely Walmart’s fault. The Zune box is said to look like it was opened before and it’s missing a charger. Someone returned the Zune to Walmart and Wamart just put the box back on the shelf without checking at all. By logical extension, Walmart therefore supports homosexual intercourse. — BEN POPKEN

Comments

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  1. AlteredBeast (blaming the OP one article at a time.) says:

    Yes, it is, in fact, Microsoft’s fault…because they gay porn floating around all over that place.

  2. SpecialK says:

    “See, baby. When five men love each other very very much, sometimes, they … um… uh … go ask your father.”

  3. adamondi says:

    The requisite jump to a false (yet comedic) conclusion:

    If she was so offended by the gay orgy video, then why did she watch it for an hour and 44 minutes?

    Maybe one of the guys in the video had her same fake nails….

  4. Magister says:

    I called that one.

  5. Magister says:

    It was

  6. Magister says:

    It

  7. Magister says:

    It was all

  8. Magister says:

    It was all a

  9. Magister says:

    It was all a hoax

  10. Pheos says:

    I work for a large department store here in the UK and our Audio/TV department has extremely strict rules on returns that could contain customer’s files information. PCs, laptops etc all have to be formatted and re-installed from scratch. Mobile (cell) phones, Electronic Organisers, I-Pods etc are sent away to a specialist to be re-flashed or whatever they do to them.
    Surely Walmart must have something similar in place?

  11. Pelagius says:

    A what? Spit it out, man!

  12. AndyfromIL says:

    Wal Mart sold me a used tent that looked new from the outside last summer. Tears in roof, mud on entry flap, grass all over inside, a broken pole, quite disappointing to find this all out at the campground, had to use duct-tape on the rain-fly, it rained like crazy that weekend.

    Took it all back, hope they didn’t resell it again.

  13. Hoss says:

    Apparently gay porn is a lot longer than straight porn. Did they redecorate the room first?

  14. acambras says:

    Right now the video at the top of the post is the Jiffy Lube video.

    Jiffy… Lube… OH, I GET IT!!!! It IS gay porn!

  15. Daytonna says:

    Question: As a good honest consumer. To prevent something like this from happening to me. (RE: AndyfromIL) What are your opinions on doing an inspection of an item before buying it.

    Like opening up and inspecting a tent I am going to buy. Or powering up that new electronics device before I buy it?

    Are there any legal or other concerns?

  16. Sunbun says:

    I’m still waiting for the day when iPods come preloaded with Goatse.

  17. LatherRinseRepeat says:

    @Daytonna

    I wouldn’t go around the aisles opening up boxes and checking for contents. Just carefully look at the packaging. If it looks and feels different from the other items on the shelf, then it’s probably been returned and re-shrink wrapped; either by the store or by the previous owner.

    If you see an item that looks suspicicious and it’s the only one left on the shelf, simply bring it to a nearby sales person or cashier and ask if you can open it to inspect it. In most cases, they will say yes. If they say no, then proceed towards the exit and find another store. Or you can just go ahead and buy it, and then open it right there in front of the cashier.

  18. nick_r says:

    Ooh, they’re going to be in trouble for that one. The legal limit is 1 hour 43 minutes.

  19. Jaxton Dragoon says:

    Doesn’t greatly surprise me. I bought a CD player from the rack where they keep shelf units, took it home and the CD drive didn’t work. I returned the player with no complaints. I went to another Wal-Mart and saw the same model player and had them check the drive. The guy in electronics had to fish a disc from his bag and the drive again didn’t work. He proceeded to put the player back on the shelf instead of removing the non-working unit.

    Now for the kicker. I bought the player roughly in spring. I went back to the store maybe a month later saw the same unit, right down to the stain and crack in the panel still on the shelf.

    I went back a couple days ago to do some Christmas shopping and, you guessed it, the same unit appeared to still be on the shelf.

  20. DeeJayQueue says:

    Most electronics don’t come shrink wrapped anymore. Software does but most gadgetry comes in either a box with plastic wafer seals on it, or a blister pack, or some combination of the 2. These wafer seals can be clear or they can have a hologram on them. Most stores don’t stock the seals so they just tape over the box edge.

    If you see something on the shelf that differs from everything else around it, If it’s shrink wrapped and it’s the only one that is, or if there’s tape on the box, or if the hologram seal is broken, don’t buy it. If you do buy it, don’t be surprised when there’s gay porn on it. I’ve been putting gay porn on PMPs and returning them for years now. It’s my little service to the world.

  21. It seems to me that Microsoft could benefit by marketing the Zune this way. If I had known about the gay porn, I might have bought a Zune instead of an iPod.

    I’m going to avoid a tasteless joke about the randomly distributed Pink Zunes, thank you very much.

  22. dacher says:

    Someone pranked Walmart and is laughing about it seeing it on the news. It’s the equivalent of old prank where teens would splice porn in a children’s cartoon video tape and then sneak the tape back on to the store shelf. Is it the store’s fault? Is Walmart suppose to check a return if the consumer doesn’t report it damaged or missing parts? Store employees probably don’t even know how to operate a Zune or identify missing parts.

  23. @Daytonna’s Question:

    This brings to mind a particularly funny episode of Mr Bean. This would be the episode where he proceeded to use every item in the manner that it was designed for. He brought a fish to test out the frying pans and such. Does anyone else remember this?

    Hmm, My post seems to be wandering off topic.

  24. cristina1232 says:

    They’re giving her 12-years-old daughter a Zune I cannot get and if I do, I wouldn’t even know exactly where to start and they’re worried about explainig her daughter the situation. The situation is even easier to explain than they giving something expensive and “fragile” the girl. Say, maybe at 14 the girl will have a car. Maybe she’ll crash it, will they ask for a refund? I’m saying this, I’m more surprised of the gift than the porn it had. I say, it’s something normal to buy something used. What’s the scandal in it? t happens everyday, everwhere. Theycan buy a Zune for an 6th-grader but not explai it what they all seem to watch for 1 hour and 44 minutes.