Gel Bras OK’d For Takeoff

Flat chested travelers, rejoice! Gel bras are now allowed on flights! Squish, squish, hooray! Keep those tips up, etc!

The TSA has also green lighted baby formula and breast milk. Be advised, clearance to bring such items requires having in your company a baby or a reasonable proxy.

Throwing stars, black jacks, brass knuckles and other martial arts devices are permitted, but must be checked and when they’re of the pointy stabby nature, sheathed. Sorry folks, you’ll have to subsist on The Parent Trap for your in-flight entertainment.

Permitted and Prohibited Items” [TSA]

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  1. Pelagius says:

    Sexists! They still make a stink every time I wear my tinfoil wrapped zucchini through the xray machine.

  2. Plasmafire says:

    Okay so we are allowed to beat eachother senseless but just not kill eachother. Gee thanks TSA… I would just get out my handy pencil.. that would probably be more effective.. hmm are pencil sharpeners allowed?

  3. Vinny says:

    I think we should make the chick on the plane get on exactly the way she’s dressed in that picture.

    Good God…

  4. creamsissle says:

    Mile High Club members will be pleased to know that up to 4 oz. of KY Jelly are permitted. Would TSA allow Astroglide as a substitute?

  5. do you have any information on what constitutes a “reasonable proxy” that would allow for the passage of breast milk, or should i be asking the folks at fleshbot?