Terrorist JuicyJuices, a Photo Essay

Unattended Juicy-Juice boxes will be confiscated. This one was shortly detonated on the tarmac inside a special containment box made out of graham crackers.

Photo essay continues inside…

pinkshirt.jpgNo one will guess the terrorist plot inside my hardening nipples.

cologne.jpgThe caption for this photo read, “An unidentified man sprays cologne on himself before throwing it into a trash can while waiting to board a flight.” But you know it’s totally staged to support a liberal media bias.

newspaper.jpgWhat’s this so-called, “International Section?”

miamidade.jpgMiami-Dade ensures you don’t get get thirsty.

scissors.jpgDo we even care about this shit anymore?

bullhorn.jpgIf you don’t obey her bullhorn, she will totally shove the Canada Dry and Pepsi up your ass. BOOM sucka!

dumptruck.jpgNow that we have all the incendiary devices collected, let’s dump them together and smash them.

Comments

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  1. Manue says:

    At least, they could recycle the bottles and cans!

    Nice question on BoingBoing too: If the liquid could be explosive, why are you dumping it in a crowd? http://www.boingboing.net/2006/08/10/if_the_liquid_could_….

  2. something_amazing says:

    I like consumerist when it isn’t pushing a political agenda. Bad customer experiences are bipartisan.

  3. Ben Popken says:

    This isn’t politics, it’s about being severely inconvenienced while flying.

  4. Chris says:

    Why do you hate America, Ben?

  5. RandomHookup says:

    The TSA’s new motto: Try new Coke Zero. Only $7 a can in the gift shop.

  6. Rick Dobbs says:

    If a company mistreated it’s customers by acting as if they were guilty until proven innocent and enacting rules that were completely ineffective and merely for the sake of looking like there was security, when in reality, it does nothing and has already been proven to do nothing, just so the customer could use it’s product, then everyone would be writing in to this site saying what a catastrophe it was.

    But because it’s the US Government, it’s a political agenda? Hardly.

  7. AcilletaM says:

    Not denying the inconvience of it all but really what are people expecting to happen the day something like this occurs. If they didn’t do this then news reporters are going to be doing stories about how they smuggled their soda into a plane and how much the TSA sucks for that.

  8. AcilletaM says:

    It’s bureaucrats making decisions and trying to cover their asses and that crosses party lines.

  9. Triteon says:

    Interesting point R.D. Then again, hundreds of thousands of people will be subjected to metal detectors and pat-down searches in order to enter certain NFL games this year. So what is our breaking point? I’ll take the travel inconvenience, but I’ll be damned if I submit to a glorified usher.

  10. priznat says:

    Is it just me or are photo watermarks seriously getting out of hand..

    I was tempted to put “GETTY IMAGES” between each word in this comment, but I’m lazy.

  11. ikes says:

    “pushing a political agenda” = anything i don’t agree with.

  12. w.oods says:

    wait – isn’t my body 70+% liquid. damn damn damn

  13. w.oods says:

    What about mentos and diet coke? Will they sell both in the overpriced stores after you go thru security?

  14. creamsissle says:

    Stop the presses! I’ve got a new conspiracy theory. All the chaos has been paid for by the makers of Head-On. As it’s neither a liquid nor a gel, it’s completely legit for carry-on.

    HEAD-ON Apply directly to terrorists!

  15. mactbone says:

    You won’t get patted down in Tampa and the ACLU is trying to find someone in Chicago to challenge the Bears. The Parks Services (who own the land around the stadium) tried to sue the Bears to stop but the judge ruled that they weren’t a grieved party.

  16. Triteon says:

    Here in St. Louis they’re still doing pat-downs, which has convinced this misplaced Chiefs fan from attending Rams games.

  17. I agree with you Something_Amazing…enough with the political statements already.

    I picked up a friend at O’Hare Intl yesterday. Her flight was delayed 2 hours on the New York side, most of it on the runway oddly. Other than the delays and the big signs saying “Orange Alert!”, things seemed to be running smoothly and as usual in our nations busiest airport.

  18. mactbone says:

    Wait, which party is Consumerist for? I can’t tell in this post. All I see are a bunch of one-liners. Maybe you’re accusing them of being too pro-liquid? Those damn Pro-Liquiders and their oozing platform!

  19. Morgan says:

    I believe Consumerist is pro-one-liner. They make derisive comments about whoever is being ridiculous; I think crayonshinobi just happens to be in favor of the ridiculous actions this time.

  20. Plasmafire says:

    Hey if liquids are being banned, does this apply to the little cafe’s that are just beyond security in the terminals? or could you just buy some overpriced beverages from them and carry them on the flight?

  21. So…Morgan…what exactly is ridiculous about airport security post 9/11?