Big surprise, the top winners are AOL user search history related. Good looking there, America Online! You’re having your best week ever!

• AOL User 927 Illuminated. He likes flowers, elmo (dead), and forced rape porn. A man to stand by.
• AOL Releases 500,000+ User Search Records. A day for the infamy books.
• UPDATE: 43 Things Not To Do At McDonald’s Pulled. We Restore! Someone Lazarus up Ray Kroc, please.
• Outside Pride Lawncare Hates Faggy CBS. The underlying subtext is that Jack Malone, in searching for missing persons, is really on an endless quest to reunite with his lost sense of heterosexuality.
• Whorehouse Gives Great Customer Service. This could go on forever. Steaks at the crack dealer’s, hamburgers at the shooting gallery, Kobi slices at the botox, etcetera, etcetera.

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