Tiffany Recalls Paloma Rattle, Satan’s Plaything

Being born with a silver spoon in your mouth poses a choking hazard, reports the Consumer Product Safety Commission.

Tiffany is being forced to recall the Paloma Rattle, a $195 2.5 inch ring consisting of nine interlocking silver beads. Testing shows that the circlet’s seams can split and spill the beads. Donny and Muffy might then gobble up the shiny balls like unwatched pension plans and asphyxiate. If that doesn’t get them, the breakage also produces “ragged” edges.

Unfortunately, no reports of infant choking or laceration have been reported, yet another setback in our fight to smash the oligarchy.

Paloma Rattles Recalled” [CPSC]