To Build a Better Butter

A smooth and creamy butter-like confection, Thomas Bartlett’s Minor Tweaks consumer letters are a source of reassuring delight, whether spread over a lightly toasted keyboard in the morning, as a dipping dollop during mid-afternoon snack or melted over a bowl of popped corn for a Hellraiser marathon for the whole family.

Dear I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!:

First of all, let me say how much I enjoy I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!. It satisfies my buttery needs. What more can you ask?

It’s so good that I’ve often thought of starting my own knock-off brand called “I Can’t Believe It’s Not I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!” But then I realized I know nothing about how to manufacture, distribute, or market such a product. Oh well.


all the best,

ICBINB’s reply here.

Some day we will rope Thomas into writing something for us. Some. Day.

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  1. The first time I read the response letter, I thought it said, “Our goal has always been to provide consumers with the finest products that scientific research and human skulls, can develop.”

    But, it’s actually, skills…somehow, I think skulls has a better ring to it.

    My father always said that if you ever saw how they made margarine, you wouldn’t eat it…but I have a feeling that goes for just about everything I eat.

  2. Jesse in Japan says:

    Why, oh why didn’t he say, “However, I have recently begun to suspect that your product is, in fact, butter. To test this theory, I had a friend prepare a piece of toast with butter and with I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter (TM) and serve them to me without telling me which was which. To my shock I found that they were absolutely identical. I am therefore writing to demand that you prove to me that your product is not, in fact, butter.”