Excessive Fluoride Turns Americans Into Commies

We’ve always known that the adding of fluoride to our water supply is an insidious Communist plot, hatched by the diabolical mind of Kruschev himself. Government officials fiercely denied it, but they would, shadow puppets of the Soviet regime and all. Those of us in the know did not have our fears assuaged by the Soviet Union’s supposed dissolution. After all, that is just what they wanted us to think.

Anyway, who’s laughing now? Brave Patriots within the National Academy of Sciences report that the fluoride levels in the drinking water of one in every fifteen hundred Americans actually leads to brittler bones and tooth disorders like enamel fluorosis, turning the beautiful smiles of thousands of Americans into the hideous, brown-toothed leers. Black teeth and contorted, inhuman physiques? Those pinkos were turning us into filthy Reds from the inside out!

“The bottom line from the nation’s top voice on science is that you can protect your children’s teeth by brushing them and you can protect their bones by getting rid of fluoride in tap water,” said Tim Kropp, the group’s senior scientist. Yes… and you can protect children from the lurking Communist menace by nuking Russia. All very sound advice.

Too much fluoride in water endangers bones [Yahoo News]

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  1. I can’t find the specific post but would like to point out, that I, in my infinite wisdom, was extolling on the evils of fluoride a few weeks ago. :) Something about bottled water maybe?

  2. AcidReign says:

    …..Besides, if you go from apple juice to coffee to soft drink to booze throughout the day, you’re not taking in that much fluoride, anyway!

  3. The Unicorn says:

    Snopes has a thing about the dangers of buying foreign toothpaste at dollar stores, lest it be from somewhere where there isn’t fluoride in the water.

    http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/household/toothpaste.asp

  4. Bubba Barney says:

    Yes! There was an article a few weeks ago about how children with cavities are growing in numbers because they are drinking bottled water instead of tap.

    Pretty much all bottled water doesn’t have flouride, I think.

    Acid,

    Do we need to stage an intervention? :)

  5. Bubba . . . fluoride is the *bad* thing. If kids brush (with fluoride, that’s fine, since you don’t really ingest it) and go to the dentist for fluoride treatments they shouldn’t need it in their tap water. Drinking fluoride is not a good plan. Kind of like sunscreen; it’s goo to apply locally where it can do some good (your skin :: your teeth) but not a good idea to drink it.