For Today’s On-The-Go Urinator

Everyone’s had that horrible moment once in their life when they just had to go to the bathroom, yet couldn’t. Maybe you were stuck on a wide-open stretch of highway, or enduring the spasms of your bladder on an airplane when stuck in a delayed landing pattern. At first, you try to ignore it, but pretty soon, you can feel it practically bubbling up in your stomach, swimming around your molars. You’re certain if you don’t vacate immediately, geysers will start spraying out of your ears like a cartoon character.

The mind races. Temptation swells. You begin thinking that any release is better than the torment, and it occurs to you that, perhaps, just a squirt would relieve enough pressure to bring you through the ordeal without entirely shaming yourself. But you dare not, because you know that opening even the tiniest crack in the flood gates would cause the airplane or car to turn into a golden aquarium, filled with the drowned corpses of your fellow passengers. You have no choice. You must endure.

If you’ve ever been in this situation — and, for god’s sakes, we hope it’s not just us — you may want to pick yourself up a Pit Stop brand portable urinal. Although aimed at truck drivers, it is the perfect accessory for the fashion-conscious urination enthusiast, and fits both men and women. Finally! Freedom from the tyranny of our bladders!

As an addendum, a note from the press release: “Pit Stop helps keep the environment clean, saving taxpayers a fortune on roadside cleanup. Since urine bottles are considered a biohazard, expensive hazmat teams are required for cleanup, instead of standard roadside cleanup crews.” Who knew a Pepsi bottle filled with urine was a biohazard?

Portable Urinal for Truckers [Strange New Products]

Comments

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  1. Danilo says:

    This reads a lot like something from Woot!

    Where’s the button that says “I want one?”

  2. Bubba Barney says:

    Whua? Urine is sterile. How can it being in a bottle be a hazardous material.

    Plus, if you have to go, why not just go by the side of the highway? Returning the water to the earth?

  3. non-meat-stick says:

    ever found a trucker bomb?

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7912464/

  4. factotum says:

    Finally, now I can play the video poker machines at the local rancheria for hours. When your machine is hot, you don’t leave for anything.

  5. AcidReign says:

    …..Hazmat? Whose highway department is this? In Alabama, that exploded bottle will sit on the highway till the end of time, along with all the other knee-deep trash. If that Pepsi bottle were full of, say, radioactive waste, the Highway Department might come out and run a water hose on it for a few minutes.

  6. Bubba Barney says:

    Trucker bombs? Who knew. I stand corrected.