The trunk humpers over at Treehugger have the scoop on Japan’s pastry-phobia and one intrepid patisserie’s response to it. Apparently, Japanese men feel that their manhood is called into question when publically eating flouncy, sugary cakes. The solution? Make the pastries look like fast food, including hamburgers and french fries.

Kind of a cool idea, but the execution, judging from the pics, leaves something to be desired. The burger in the background appears to be made of decomposed liver paste, while the foreground burger has been made with some form of lichen, and not the delicious green percent sign kind. On top of the lichen is slathered a thick layer of what looks less like tartar sauce than congealed ejaculate. Only the french fries look edible.

In America, the only gay kind of pastry is the pink Hostess Snowball. Dear Japan – if you’re so worried about your delicious, sugary cakes looking gay, why not just start making them in the shapes of vaginas and be done with it, already?

Link: Trends in Japan: Sweets in Disguise

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