It’s the final day of competition in Round Two of Worst Company In America 2012, but there are still an awful lot of awful businesses still waiting to do battle. So let’s get to it and do it, shall we?
Voting on this round is completely free! You just pay shipping, handling, service charges, print-at-home surcharges, voting tax, a 7% resort fee, and a $25 “because we can” charge.
A perennial Golden Poo favorite slips into a red, white and blue unitard and struts into the WCIA Rollerball arena to the strains of Hulk Hogan’s “Real American,” thinking this is the year they win it all… Well, not if a scrappy underdog from New York City has anything to say about it.
Welcome to Day 2 of Sweet 16 bloodshed! Unfortunately, because of exclusivity deals, those of you who haven’t paid $350 for the deluxe, HD/3D/Smell-o-Vision package will be blacked out from seeing the televised broadcast of these TV titans.
The old world clashes with the new this afternoon as the company that used to connect people around the country tries to take down the website that everyone now uses to show off photos of their kids.
The opening bout of this year’s Sweet 16 should result in some sparks, as the video game company everyone seems to hate (but whose games people keep buying) squares off against the electronics retailer most of us would rather not shop at (but still do when we don’t have time to wait for an Amazon order).
The floor of the Worst Company In America BattleDome is stained with the blood of the vanquished. But only one company can earn the privilege of placing the WCIA Golden Poo in its trophy case, so the violence must continue.
Here we are at the final match of Round One in the Worst Company In America 2012 Tournament. And while you can argue whether or not we’ve saved the best for last, these two competitors are certainly two of the biggest.
Here we have a Round One battle between two opponents with peculiar predicaments. In one corner is a website that continually tries to invade your privacy but to which everyone on the planet seems to belong. And in the other corner is the phone company that claims to offer truly unlimited data plans, but which can’t seem to get new customers.
Two telecom titans will step into the Worst Company gladiator pit this afternoon. One will walk out victorious while the other will end up stuck with a huge early termination fee.
The final day of Round One competition is waiting on the tarmac, ready to take off. Unfortunately, these two airlines would like to charge you for the privilege of voting on which one is worse.
Last night, Electronic Arts beat up Sony in their first-round Worst Company In America fight, much in the same way your average 9-year-old makes me look silly playing Madden NFL. But one reader says that his post in a Sims forum about EA’s involvement in WCIA got him a warning slap from the company.
Finishing off this week of blood-drenched business battles is a pairing between two of the largest — and two of the least-favorite — cable companies in the country. The fight is scheduled to begin anywhere between 2:00 and 5:00 p.m.
We hope these two parcel-punting pugilists know how to deliver the punches, because they both seem to have a problem delivering your packages.
Everyone else might be thanking God it’s Friday, but not the companies that had to start off their weekend by beating the ever-loving crud out of each other in the Worst Company America Thunderdome.
Just judging by appearances, this match-up has the feel of a strapping young heavyweight going up against a past-his-day bruiser who is clinging on to memories of his days as champ. But you never know if that elder fighter might have packed some bird shot and ball bearings in his boxing gloves.
At the end of this bout, one of these competitors will have paid the price in blood. And lord help them if they try to dispute that payment with either company’s customer service departments.
Day 3 of competition in the arena suspended high above above the Worst Company In America Sarlacc Pit brings us a pair of pugilists that already spend most of the year trying to dish out some hurt on each other.