Drug-busting has had a particularly fruity theme in Texas lately, where U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials have recently uncovered large loads of marijuana disguised as innocent produce. [More]
A few JetBlue planes were apparently carrying some extra cargo, unbeknownst to the airline, after maintenance workers discovered three kilos of cocaine stashed inside compartments on two aircraft recently. [More]
When it comes to trying to sneak drugs into the country, ne’er-do-wells keep coming up with creative ways to disguise their illicit goods, keeping law enforcement on their toes. Someone must’ve hired Bugs Bunny to do some sleuthing in Texas, where U.S. Customs and Border Protection Agents discovered a shipment of carrots that included a few thousand orange things that weren’t of the vegetable variety.
Perhaps you have a secret ingredient for adding a little kick to your salad dressing, but if it’s cocaine, law enforcement officials aren’t going to let you keep it: U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents at New York’s John F. Kennedy Airport say a passenger arrived with 11 pounds of liquid cocaine packed inside oil and vinegar bottles in his luggage. [More]
Federal officials say they’ve uncovered an alleged marijuana smuggling ring that involved three baggage handlers working at Oakland International Airport. Because airport workers can go behind the scenes where others can’t, investigators say the baggage handlers used their security badges to access off-limits areas and get pot from one point to another.
There are a lot of things you aren’t allowed to bring into the cabin of a plane: throwing stars, shoe knives, and toy guns belonging to sock monkeys. While a hollowed-out Bible might be a great hiding place for your bullets at home, the Transportation Safety Administration would like the public to know that you’ll need a different container when you travel by air. [More]
Though there are plenty of horror stories out there about people getting crazy or dangerous substances implanted by way of dubious medical procedures, stuffing breast implants with cocaine brings things to a whole new level of nuttery. And as it turns out, it’s not a good way to smuggle drugs, as one traveler recently found out. [More]
Are you an Inuit? No? Then you shouldn’t be selling narwhal tusks. And oh yes, despite what you might think when you picture a giant sea creature with a horn like a unicorn, the narwhal is very real (even if spellcheck says otherwise) and you will be very busted for smuggling their ivory tusks. [More]
When you’re responsible for cleaning airplane lavatories, we imagine there aren’t a lot of perks to scrubbing out toilets used by hundreds of passengers. So we can only hope that the cleaners who discovered 280 gold bars in a plane toilet get to keep a couple, just to even out the balance in the universe. [More]
Who doesn’t miss their pets while on vacation? If you can take them along to a critter-friendly locale, that’s excellent. If you can’t, it’s better to find a sitter. And if you’re trying to smuggle your pet turtle onto a plane inside a hamburger, it’s time to rethink your entire life. [More]
It must be tricky to be a loris. On one hand, you’re an impossibly cute primate. On the other, people might want to put you down their pants to smuggle you through the airport. Three men were arrested at Indira Ghandi International Airport in Delhi, India for trying to sneak slender lorises from Bangkok to Dubai. Two of the men had the little guys concealed in pouches in their underwear.
Like the wolf in sheep’s clothing or Tony Curtis in Some Like It Hot, putting a different wrapper on something and fooling everyone only works in fictional situations or when trying to trick actual sheep/Marilyn Monroe. U.S. customs agents are trained to catch people trying to hide stuff, which is why coating lumps of methamphetamine in chocolate and dressing them in Snickers wrappers didn’t work out too well for one man accused of trying to smuggle $250,000 worth of the drugs into Japan.
We can picture the scene perfectly: Two guys on the way home from a trip to lovely Vancouver approaching the U.S./Canadian border. Suddenly, there’s a current of fear when guards search the car and inform them they’re smugglers. Each man pictures the other cackling evilly while shoving drugs or laundered money into a secret compartment in the car. But wait! It’s just illegal candy with a toy inside. Whew.
No Sir, Those Aren't My 79 Adorable Turtles Covered In Pantyhose Hiding In This Package At The Airport
What! How did those 79 turtles get into that package? No way, I didn’t cover them in pantyhose and try to smuggle them into China, Mr. Airport Worker — they must’ve crawled in there on their own. That’s the pretend defense we’re imagining after authorities at the Shanghai airport discovered a box full of illegal live turtles.
Apparently due to wealthy Hollywood types’ yearning for exotic pets, Los Angeles International Airport — its friends call it LAX — has long been known as animal smuggling central. In the most recent high-profile incident, Japanese passengers were busted for sneaking 55 live tortoises and turtles in luggage.
Just because you’re locked up, you shouldn’t have to miss out on texting buddies, logging status updates and playing FarmVille. Thanks to smuggling channels and intense demand, cell phones have become as much a part of the prison experience as lunchtime brawls and toothbrush shanks.
Scott Meyer frequently makes brilliant observations in his “Basic Instructions” comic, and by brilliant I mean nutjob. In the most recent one, “How to Save Money,” the comic version of Meyer realizes how expensive movie concessions are. Considering how many people commented on this the last time I posted about it, I thought you might find his ideas useful. Now I’m off to buy a stovepipe hat!
The AP is reporting that the employee charged with smuggling a unloaded handgun and ammunition aboard a US Airways flight was trying to help his roommate avoid checking it.