If the richest person in the world walked up to me right now (Scrooge McDuck, he’s still in the lead, right?) and offered me my very own pool of money to swim in on the one condition that I stay at the Clown Motel overnight, well, my moneyswimming suit would stay firmly in its wrappings. Because if there’s one thing capable of turning even the most grown-up grown-up into a puddle of quivering, horrified mush, it’s clowns and the dark*. [More]
seriously
A Whole New Meaning To Mobile Banking: T-Mobile Announces Money Management Service
By 1.22.14
Don’t like going to the bank? Aren’t interested in fees or maintaining a minimum balance? Not to worry, there’s a new service just for you. That is if you’re a T-Mobile customer. The company just announced it’s heading into the banking industry. [More]
Hey, Companies! Want Good Survey Ratings? Don't Call At 5:30 AM
By 3.17.11
Miss M. called T-Mobile customer service last night around midnight. She was happy with the customer service she received, and went to bed with her problem solved. When the company called her back to ask her to answer a survey about the call, she would have been happy to give them a nice evaluation….except that the call came at 5:30 in the morning. [More]
Would You Pay $200 To Watch The Super Bowl On TV?
By 1.20.11
Never at a loss for new ways to make more money off its overeager fan base, the NFL will charge $200 for spectators to watch the Super Bowl on a giant screen outside the stadium. [More]
At Least This Journeys Promotion Gets Your Attention
By 12.31.10
“Try on shoes, get a free smartphone,” declared a sign in the window of Ryan’s local Journeys store. That sounds like a deal that can’t possibly be true. And it’s not. [More]
UPDATE: Officials Say Little Kids Don't Need Health Dept. License To Run Lemonade Stand
By 8.6.10
Earlier today, we brought you the tale of a girl in Oregon whose lemonade stand was shut down by health inspectors for lack of proper permits. Realizing the error of their ways, county officials have now issued an apology, meaning the little girl’s horribly unsafe lemonade can be unleashed upon the world once more. [More]
Government Cracks Down On Little Girl's Lemonade Stand
By 8.6.10
UPDATE: The little girl has gotten a reprieve and is allowed to sell her lemonade without a license. [More]
Pair Arrested For Trying To Sell Blocks Of Wood, Paper Binders As Toshiba Laptops
By 8.1.10
If you were at the fair this week in Jackson, Mississippi and saw a bunch of Toshiba laptops that you thought looked awfully like blocks of wood and paper binders, well, you were right. Two men were arrested after trying to sell the blocks of wood—which were covered in bubble wrap and secured with duct tape and Toshiba labels—to an off-duty state trooper. [More]
Mazda Dealer Won't Give Loyalty Discount Because Insurer Now Owns My Totaled Car
By 6.11.10
What does it mean to be “loyal” to a car manufacturer? Brett tells Consumerist that he wanted to take advantage of a program that offered a $500 loyalty discount to people who already own Mazdas. He negotiated a price with a local dealer, then learned that he wasn’t eligible for the $500 discount…because his previous Mazda had been totaled (that’s a picture of it, at left), and his car insurance company now holds the title. [More]
Enstrom Will Replace Your Almond Toffee If It Fails To Calculate Your Taxes
By 10.12.08
Bobby didn’t believe that Enstrom’s “Unconditional Guarantee” was truly unconditional, so he sent an email to Enstrom complaining that his Almond Toffee did not perform well as a tax preparer.
Best Takes In-Store Display Cashing In On Heath Ledger's Death Very Seriously
By 1.24.08
THE QUOTE: “Please be certain Best Buy takes matters of this nature very seriously. In reviewing your concerns with the management team at our Mission Valley store, they have concluded that the display was inappropriate in light of Mr. Ledger’s recent passing and have removed it from the sales floor.”
Mice Found On United Airlines Flight
By 1.9.08
United Airlines Flight UA897 from Washington to Beijing landed in China with a mice infestation onboard, reported a Chinese state official on Monday: “Eight mice, dead and (alive), were found at last … hidden in pillows.” An “emergency team” boarded the craft and “put rat poison and mouse traps at every possible corner on the aircraft, including the cockpit… the surviving mice were sent to labs for testing.”
That Walmart Photo Gallery Was Pretty Tasteless
By 12.26.06
Last week we posted a gallery of pictures of overweight and “odd” looking Walmart customers and employees. We framed it like Gawker’s “Blue States Lose” party photos, and let loose the image dump.
