SEC Sues Psychic For Not Actually Being Able To See
Future

SEC Sues Psychic For Not Actually Being Able To See Future

On his personal website, “natural psychic and Remote Viewer” Sean David Morton claims to have predicted everything from the 1989 San Francisco earthquake to Bill Clinton’s impeachment to the burst of the dotcom bubble. But that doesn’t impress the SEC, who filed a lawsuit against Morton yesterday, alleging that he committed $6 million worth of securities fraud by claiming he could see into the future.

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Judge In Bank Of America Case Calls Settlement "Half-Baked Justice"

Judge In Bank Of America Case Calls Settlement "Half-Baked Justice"

A U.S. District Court Judge signed off on the $150 million settlement between Bank of America Corp. and the Securities and Exchange Commission over allegations of making misleading statements during BofA’s purchase of Merrill Lynch & Co., but he wasn’t exactly happy about doing it.

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Inspector General Admits SEC Pretty Much Sucks At Its Job

Inspector General Admits SEC Pretty Much Sucks At Its Job

The SEC’s inspector general has released a jailhouse interview in which his royal Ponziness, Bernie Madoff himself, explains that he got away with his scheme because the SEC basically sucks.

Bank Of America Board Members Subpoenaed

Bank Of America Board Members Subpoenaed

New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo’s office is gathering information in order to file fraud charges against some BoA executives over what they knew, and what they hid, when they acquired Merrill Lynch & Co. a year ago. Earlier this week, his office subpoenaed 5 board members to find out “what they knew regarding the mounting losses and bonus payments at Merrill before the deal closed on Jan. 1 and what role they played in deciding whether to disclose that information to shareholders,” according to the Associated Press.

SEC: Countrywide CEO Called Mortgages "Toxic" Three Freaking Years Ago

SEC: Countrywide CEO Called Mortgages "Toxic" Three Freaking Years Ago

Today, as expected, is a crappy day for former Countrywide CEO and co-founder Angelo “Orangey Orangerton” Mozilo. The SEC is suing Mr. Mozilo along with several of his colleagues, claiming that they profited from stock sales while hiding information from investors.

Lawsuits: Countrywide Ex-CEO To Feel Wrath Of SEC

Lawsuits: Countrywide Ex-CEO To Feel Wrath Of SEC

His extreme orangeness, former CEO and founder of Countrywide Home Loans Angelo Mozilo, is about to be slapped with civil fraud charges, according to the Wall Street Journal.

New Consumer Agency May Steal SEC's Thunder

New Consumer Agency May Steal SEC's Thunder

After the bang-up job the Security and Exchange Commission did to prevent Wall Street shenanigans from plunging the economy into the abyss, the White House is looking to form a new commission to step in and do the SEC’s job.

Fund Stole From Clients, Got Lavished In Lap Dances

Fund Stole From Clients, Got Lavished In Lap Dances

The SEC is pawing through the records of the collapsed investment firm Sentinel Management Group and getting lap dance remains all over their hands. Bloomberg reports it looks like SMG’s lead trader Charles Mosley sold their clients what now amount to worthless securities (“wallpaper,” says the guy in charge of unwinding the company), and the brokers he bought them from showered him with tickets to sporting events, limousine rides, and even underwrote his lap dances. Musta been fun while it lasted.

Brooklyn Cab Driver Convinces You He Has A Hedge Fund, Steals $20 Million

Brooklyn Cab Driver Convinces You He Has A Hedge Fund, Steals $20 Million

Oh look, another Mini-Madoff! Meet Alan Fishman, 49, a livery cab driver from Brooklyn, NY who convinced people he was a hedge fund mastermind.

Feds Arrest Virginian For $11 Million Ponzi Scheme

Feds Arrest Virginian For $11 Million Ponzi Scheme

The Ponz is everywhere! Seriously, was anyone doing any real investing over the past several years? John M. Donnelly of Charlottesville, Virginia, was arrested earlier this week and “indicted for fraudulently taking at least $11 million from as many as 31 investors in an alleged Ponzi scheme,” says their local paper the Hook. He was promising investors returns of up to 22% annually, but naturally had failed to make any investments with his clients’ money since 2002. One anonymous person—who may or may not have been a client, we don’t know—told the paper, “I visited his office once. He had a bunch of computers. It seemed like a very sophisticated operation.”

SEC Orders Cali Ponzi Scheme To "Disgorge" "Ill-Gotten Gains"

SEC Orders Cali Ponzi Scheme To "Disgorge" "Ill-Gotten Gains"

The SEC has busted another Ponzi scheme and ordered its operators to “disgorge their ill-gotten gains.” In this one, Anthony Vassallo of “Equity Investment Management and Trading” recruited investors through his church by saying he had a computer program that would guarantee a 3.5% return on stocks. Eventually he stopped trading and paid off investors using other investor’s money, while shoveling the rest of the funds into other schemes and scams. Vassallo was eventually busted when his investors ganged up on him and said his reports were phony-baloney.

Madoff Pleads Guilty, Could Get 150 Years

Madoff Pleads Guilty, Could Get 150 Years

Well, it’s official. Bernie Madoff has plead guilty to 11 counts of fraud, money laundering, perjury and theft. The maximum amount of prison time for these crimes is 150 years.

No Evidence That Madoff Did Any Trading For His Clients In 13 Years

No Evidence That Madoff Did Any Trading For His Clients In 13 Years

Oh, Madoff. You sly one. The firm liquidating your operation has found no evidence that you actually bought or sold any securities for your customers in the past 13 years.

https://consumerist.com/2009/02/19/more-information-about-the-stanford/

More information about the Stanford International Bank fraud case, including, but not limited to: a bank panic in Venezuela, hugs from Nancy Pelosi, allegations of money laundering for drug cartels, and predictable vows to “fight with every breath to continue to uphold our good name and continue the legacy we have built together.” Still no word on where the $8 billion went. [Forbes]

SEC Charges Texas Businessman With $8 Billion Fraud

SEC Charges Texas Businessman With $8 Billion Fraud

The SEC has charged Robert Allen Stanford, a prominent Texas businessman, in connection with an $8 billion fraud in the sale of so-called certificates of deposit that promised unrealistic rates of return. Stanford guaranteed fixed-income investments by “promising improbable and unsubstantiated high interest rates,” according to a statement by the SEC.

Kevin Bacon, Sandy Koufax, Mets Owners All Got Screwed By Madoff

Kevin Bacon, Sandy Koufax, Mets Owners All Got Screwed By Madoff

A court filing in U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Manhattan made public a 162-page document listing his various clients, which include Hall of Fame Pitcher Sandy Koufax, actor Kevin Bacon, and the Wilpon family, owners of the New York Mets.

SEC Ignored Warnings On $50 Billion Ponzi Scheme Since 1999

SEC Ignored Warnings On $50 Billion Ponzi Scheme Since 1999

SEC’s chief announced they had repeatedly received since 1999″credible and specific allegations” about Madoff’s $50 billion pyramid scheme

SEC, Treasury Throw More Sandbags Into The Wall Street Flood Waters

SEC, Treasury Throw More Sandbags Into The Wall Street Flood Waters

The SEC has temporarily banned short selling of 799 financial stocks, and the Treasury Department has said that it would guarantee (temporarily?) money market funds up to the amount of $50 billion. The New York Times called this move “startling” because money market funds have long been considered one of the safest investments — about as safe as a savings account.