reality distortion field

Steve Jobs E-mail Generator Lets You Create Your Own Zen Platitudes

Steve Jobs E-mail Generator Lets You Create Your Own Zen Platitudes

Jealous of all of those Apple fans who are getting random email messages from CEO Steve Jobs? Now there’s no reason to wait around for him to contact you. Just use the Steve Jobs E-Mail Reply Generator, and you too can be the proud owner of a terse, Steve-esque one-liner like “No,” “Nope” and “If you want porn, get an Android phone.” [More]

The iPad Is A Giant, $499 iPod Touch

The iPad Is A Giant, $499 iPod Touch

Apple’s Steve Jobs finally introduced that iPad the whole world has been talking about for the past two centuries. What can you do with it? Watch movies. Read ebooks and news. Send email. Play games. All from a shiny multitouch display. Right, the same stuff you can do on an iPhone (except make calls, but you can’t really do that on an iPhone either). But it’s bigger! Faster! And will only cost $499. Quick, where can I buy one? [More]

It's Not Too Late To Join The Apple Drinking Game

It's Not Too Late To Join The Apple Drinking Game

Yes, we know it’s the middle of a work day. But we also know you’re probably switching between Consumerist and your favorite tech news site right now, hitting refresh over and over, as you wait to see what new gift His Steveness has bestowed upon mankind. Might as well have some fun while you’re doing it, right? So, go ahead and join the Apple Press Conference Drinking Game right now.

(Oh, and if you’re keeping score at home, it really is called the iPad, and Steve called it a “magical and revolutionary” product today! I think that deserves a 40!)