Did you know that you can learn to be helpless? These days, a lot of people are showing signs of a new disease called CLH, or Consumer Learned Helplessness. Here’s how it works.
It’s no secret to Consumerist readers that Comcast’s outsourced techs are often late, rude and incompetent, and that calling customer service is more akin to improving dialogue in a Beckett play, but as this exclusively obtained powerpoint made by a Comcast employee shows, it’s no secret to the cable company either. (I know the damn thing wasn’t officially created by Comcast corp. C’mon, give us more credit than that. It’s pretty obvious that it’s too funny to be official. I just meant to describe how it was created by a Comcast employee and passed around to other Comcast employees and came from inside Comcast. I realize now that “internal” makes it sound official, and that wasn’t my intention. I apologize for the confusion.) Watch and/or download the powerpoint, inside…
Here is the live audio and powerpoint from a recent presentation I gave called, “The 5 Things Your Customers Aren’t Telling You.” This is number 3, “Stop Hiding Behind Walls Of Robots.” It’s all about how companies think they’re saving money by replacing humans with machines but sometimes machines can’t do jobs as well as humans, especially when it comes to customer service. I brought the point to life with a funny little story about eBay and their wonderfully inept automated email response system. I hope you enjoy the video, including the intro and outro ditties I worked up on my girlfriend’s old Yamaha synth.
Here is another slide from my recent powerpoint where I tried to convince a room full of marketing guys why you should tell the truth. This fly is your company’s shameful behavior. Around it is amber. The amber is the internet. If you mess up and it gets posted online, it will be preserved online forever. Forever! For all time. Just like in Jurassic Park, in the future, a blogger or a customer can come across this chunk of DNA of your shameful behavior and make it into a new monster. If the scientists on Jurassic Park island were playing God, then Google is God, and slave to anyone with an internet connection.
Starting today, presentations — whether imported from existing files or created using the new slide editor — are listed alongside documents and spreadsheets in the Google Docs document list. They can be edited, shared, and published using the familiar Google Docs interface, with several collaborators working on a slide deck simultaneously, in real time. When it’s time to present, participants can simply click a link to follow along as the presenter takes the audience through the slideshow. Participants are connected through Google Talk and can chat about the presentation as they’re watching.
Now you can bore your coworkers to death for free!