never stop screaming ever

Mike Mozart

Customer Enters LongHorn Steakhouse, Venomous Snake Bites Her Foot

You wouldn’t expect that walking into a chain restaurant while wearing sandals would be dangerous, but a woman in Virginia was bitten by a common venomous snake in the lobby of a LongHorn Steakhouse two weeks ago. [More]

Oregon State Police

What To Do When Your Car Has Been Coated In Hagfish Slime

The Pacific hagfish is also known as the slime eel, even though it is not, in fact, an eel. These ancient and mysterious creatures were recently spilled across a highway in Oregon in a multi-car crash, creating a traffic hazard and multiple slime-coated vehicles. What should you do in such a situation, and where was someone going with a truck full of slime-emitting sea creatures? [More]

Geoff

Coca-Cola: Dead Mouse Was Too Fresh To Be Found In A Coke Can

A South Dakota man claims he purchased — and drank from — a can of Coca-Cola that had a mouse sealed inside, making him ill and causing him to miss work. But the Coke folks say this just isn’t possible, since a mouse sealed in a soft drink can would have been more decomposed. [More]

Peter Merholz

18 Injured After Mall Escalator Reverses Direction, Speeds Up

Escalator chain reactions can happen when one person stumbles and falls, or when people use a non-working escalator as a staircase and it suddenly starts moving again. In Hong Kong over the weekend, a 150-foot mall escalator abruptly reversed direction and flung screaming shoppers to the ground, injuring 18 of them. [More]

How many snakes do you see on this can? Zero. (Fox 13)

Canned Green Beans Recalled After Church Group Finds Snake Head

A church youth group in Utah was cooking meals for the seniors of their community when they found an unexpected ingredient: their leader found a snake’s head among the green beans. The company, Western Family, a supplier of store-brand products, has now announced a recall of that lot of beans, since no customer wants to find the rest of that snake. [More]

McDonald’s Airlifts Fries Into Japan, Another Report Of ‘Dental Material’ In Food

McDonald’s Airlifts Fries Into Japan, Another Report Of ‘Dental Material’ In Food

Sales are way down at McDonald’s restaurants in Japan, and the continuing French fry shortage isn’t the reason. The public has been understandably freaked out to learn that customers have found plastic pieces and a human tooth in their food recently, and now there’s a report that a diner found crunchy pieces in her burger later found to be the white resin-like material used to fill cavities. [More]

Free Rat Included In Supermarket Bakery Apple Cake

Free Rat Included In Supermarket Bakery Apple Cake

A Long Island man wanted only one thing for his 96th birthday celebration: a German apple ring cake from grocer King Kullen. Sounds festive and delicious. When the family cut into it during his party, though, they found something extra mixed in. Nope, not extra apple filling or a bonus cinnamon swirl. (Warning: there are photos after the jump.) [More]

Lawsuit: Man's Monster Energy Drink Flavored With Dead Mouse

Lawsuit: Man's Monster Energy Drink Flavored With Dead Mouse

A man in Washington state hasn’t consumed a beverage from a can in more than a year. It’s hard to blame him: he claims that more than a year ago, he discovered a mouse at the bottom of his Monster energy drink. Now he’s suing Hansen Beverage Company, the maker of Monster. His lawyer and Monster’s insurer ran tests, and independent lab results prove the mouse’s identity. [More]

GameStop's New Preorder Bonus: Dead Roaches

GameStop's New Preorder Bonus: Dead Roaches

Here’s a horrible Gamestop shopping experience that we never would have expected: a customer bought a few inexpensive used games, got them home, and discovered that they were terribly buggy. And by “buggy,” we mean “the cases were filled with dead roaches and roach eggs.” [More]

DNA Links Grocery Clerk In Tainted Yogurt Case

DNA Links Grocery Clerk In Tainted Yogurt Case

Not only was there semen in the yogurt, but DNA testing has linked it with the same pushy grocery clerk who gave the free sample to the shopper who complained about it. [More]

Yep, There Was Semen In The Yogurt

Yep, There Was Semen In The Yogurt

The woman who reported to police last week that the free yogurt sample she received tasted like it had semen in it? Turns out she was right. Police have confirmed that the sample of Greek yogurt was tainted with semen. Results from DNA sample taken from the employee who handed out the sample are still pending. There’s something fishy about the free sample story though, according to the police report it doesn’t sound like there was an official sampling going on that day. UPDATE: The Smoking Gun has copies of the search warrant affidavit, police report, and a hand-written witness statement. [More]

Strange, This Yogurt Sample Tastes Just Like Semen

Strange, This Yogurt Sample Tastes Just Like Semen

Earlier this week, a shopper in a New Mexico grocery store received a free sample of yogurt. She tasted it, then immediately spat it out on the floor and called the police. The woman told police that the yogurt tasted like it contained a “bodily fluid.” Specifically, semen. [More]

Airline Passengers Showered With In-Flight Maggots

Airline Passengers Showered With In-Flight Maggots

A US Airways flight from Atlanta to Charlotte had to return to the airport gate on Monday evening after writhing maggots rained down on passengers in one row while the plane was taxiing. The source of the critters? A container of rotten meat that a passenger somehow brought on the plane and stashed in the overhead bin. [More]

Good News,That Dead Mouse In Your Diet Pepsi Was Actually A Toad

Good News,That Dead Mouse In Your Diet Pepsi Was Actually A Toad

Remember the purported mouse that a man in Florida purportedly found in his can of Pepsi? Lab tests are back, and it turns out that it wasn’t actually a mouse.

Pardon Me, But There Is A Mouse In This Can Of Diet Pepsi

Pardon Me, But There Is A Mouse In This Can Of Diet Pepsi

(Ed. note— Ok, let me just tell you that reading this story made my stomach flip, which is something that almost never happens to me, so if you’re eating lunch or (heaven forbid) drinking a Pepsi — just go to Cute Overload and forget this ever happened.) A Florida man says he was drinking a can of Diet Pepsi when he noted that it tasted funny. (Warning: “Not Safe For Lunch” graphic picture inside.)