The 3G Microcell, the mini cell tower that AT&T has been threatening their customer base with since last fall are coming soon. AT&T Wireless customers remain underwhelmed. Why? Using technology similar to Consumerist’s own Megglefish, Tested’s Will Smith translated the press release from PR-speak to English for us, and teased out the precise reasons why this is a terrible, terrible idea. It’s all there. You just have to find it.